I dreamed about jjreason last night

[Rollo Tomassi]

I had a dream where I was in the early 1800s Southern States and I was rounding up well to do Southern Plantation Owners and their families and their foremen. We smuggled them down to the Gulf of Mexico and put them on a ship that was headed to Africa where there were to be put to work in the Diamond Mines. Naturally they were pissed and all indignant about it. I had to pistol whip a few of them fat assholes and one women started screaming and I said I'd cut out her fucking tongue if she didn't shut the fuck up. It was a bit startling, but I admit it was viscerally satisfying at what a cold blooded sonofabitch I was.


I had one a few weeks ago where I organized the Indians in the early 1800s as well, way before the Army came in in force and fucked them out of the Great Plains and the Black Hills. I had all the different tribes together and told them to quite fighting with each other and get organized. And I told them about the gold in the Black Hills so they were mining it straight off to pay for arms and such. Basically we kept America on the east side of the Mississippi River. For some reason I had a crack Spec Ops commando team working for me with modern weaponry and tactics. And let me tell you, a few automatic weapons can fucking DECIMATE an early 19th century Union Regiment. Somehow, I was also giving impassioned speeches before Congress about it as well. Basically I said "Stay on your side of the river or we will FUCKING END YOU." So, a modern map of the U.S. would look completely different. Yeah, that was a strange one.

[anarky]

Last night I dreamed I went to a parent-teacher conference. Anarky Jr's teacher was upset because she was playing with cars, and it wasn't "girly." I got really mad and started yelling at her to shut up, since obviously she believed in gender stereotypes and therefore had to believe I was her superior.

Afterward, I was hanging out with Diabolical, Antropov, and Slicker. They (especially DB) had this irrational hatred of the M&M's mascots. We went to a mall, and there was a guy in an M&M costume handing out candy to kids. They beat the shit out of him, then pretended to abuse while all the kids were crying.

At the end of it all, DB said, "That fucking bastard ruined The Punisher."

[Rollo Tomassi]

How did he know Rick Remender was in the M&M costume? And why did he stop at just beating his ass?

[anarky]

Last night, I dreamed that I had an intense affair with Sarah Vowell.

Uh, yeah. She may be funny and get +Infinity nerd points for starring in The Incredibles, but she's hardly on the list of "women I want to have naughty dreams about." Of course, she's so asexual, even my dream about having an affair with her was rated PG.

Plus we met when she was showing me her native Afghanistan, which looks an awful lot like the area around Asheville, NC. Never mind the whole "I have to mention I'm from Oklahoma" in every book she writes.

I did get to see an Afghan soldier in a cowboy hat riding a bison down the freeway, though. I should thank her for that.

[vynsane]

i had a dream last night that was pretty cool. at least part of it was from another dream i've had before.

i'm walking in a sort-of back-alley/industrial area of my town (that doesn't exist). there are high chain-link fences and warehouses/factories around (possibly abandoned) and some litter blowing around in the wind. i notice what looks like a black helicopter hovering close to the ground between the buildings/fences - yeah, the alley is wide enough for it to be that low and turning around - but the helicopter doesn't have conventional rotors. in their place there is some sort of large disk or saucer that seems to act as both lift and directional propulsion.

the helicraft turns and disappears (either instantly teleporting or flying away very fast, not sure) and a group of young teenagers dash across the street one-by-one where it was hovering, emerging from the shadows between two buildings, through a gap in the fence. most of them disappear behind the corner of the building i'm now next to, but i peek around the corner to watch as the last of the group jumps as he reaches the curb. he never touches back down, just continues to float up and up. i run around the corner and do the same thing, hopping up onto the curb, but continue to float up, the entire surroundings turning instantaneously to day-time as i pass from the street to the curb.

i'm now floating above a large patch of grass, continuing upwards towards a large tree, where there are a large number of other teenagers, all floating or hanging out on tree limbs.

that's where i either woke up or the dream ended. i'm thinking that it could turn into a really cool short story - there's definitely something that could be fleshed out there. i'm also considering building the helicraft (or something inspired by the basic concept) in LEGO.

[jjreason]

Very dreamlike. I've never had a floating one before, only the falling. ><

[vynsane]

yeah, it was really cool.

i forgot to mention that the tree with the floating teens was the part that i've definitely dreamt about before.

[Ran]

I've seen some of those UFO shows. If you had a much lower IQ, you could probably go on one of them and claim to have had an experience with aliens.

In those falling dreams, it is funny how waking up coincides with impact.

[anarky]

Or, if he had bigger hair, he could claim it proves that aliens built the pyramids.

Seriously, that fucking hair is not of this Earth:

[Ran]

Or, if he had bigger hair, he could claim it proves that aliens built the pyramids.

Seriously, that fucking hair is not of this Earth:

I wonder if that guy is somehow related to The Grin. Maybe his name is "Stupid Grin" because of the look on his face when he is explaining his theories.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Here's one I need to get down before I forget it.
I was in a hospital( how I got there was from an earlier part of the dream that I forgot) and the Doctor is talking to me. I have to take a poo really bad so I leave the room(I don't why the room didn't have a toilet, or if it did why I didn't use it) and go searching for a John. I end up going down this 'abandoned wing' of the hospital and find these big wide stairs that lead to a basement area that's a bathroom. But there's a heavy iron gate blocking it and it's got a heavy link chain that's looped through the gate exactly once. And it's not attached or locked or anything so I pull the chain off and go into the area. There's no toilet, and then I get a sixth sense that chain was there for a reason do I turn around and close the gate and wrap the chain through it several times. I also get the feeling somebody is coming from somewhere in the basement, so it's kinda creepy. I double time it back up the stairs and find a giant bathroom with several dozen stalls. This place is huge. And there are benches in the bathroom like its a waiting room/toilet. But it's filthy and I can't find a clean stall, and I have to go poo and I still feel like I'm being followed by whoever came up from the basement. So I go into a handicap stall at the far end, and it has an even bigger handicap stall that's about as big as a garage that you can only access from the inside the first stall. Theyre all still pretty filthy stalls, but I'm about ready to turtle head so I make do. Then while I'm sitting there, I have a weird vantage point of seeing the rest of the very large bathroom and it's now filled with people and patients. I come out of the big stall (I don't think I actually finished pooping, but the urge is gone. I guess my dream had moved on by then). I sit on a bench and just start watching people and a little black girl comes up to me and starts benign very friendly. She's 4 to 7 years old(and what I mean by that is that she kept being slightly different ages as I talked to her). I find out she's dead. She's a ghost. And that's she's been hanging out at the hospital for awhile and some people can see her, like sick children in the Children's Wing. (by the way, she's not the 'person' that followed me up te stairs, but I'm no longer feeling spooked by that, so I guess the dream dropped that as well). So then I start talking to this little black girl ad I suggest that since shes going to be stuck at the hospital forever, she should start reading medical textbooks and get the knowledge equivalent of a medical degree. She says she can't. It doesn't work that way, but she doesn't explain why. Then her parents show up with their new baby and he dad is the guy from the AllState commercials. David Palmer. (forgot his name) I asked him how his daughter died, and he's excited that I can see her. Right before I woke up I asked her her name. She said Monica. Then I woke up.


But what I immediately thought when I woke up was "that would make an awesome pitch for a film: Little Black Girl Ghost Doctor!!"

[vinsayne]

there's definitely something that could be fleshed out there. i'm also considering building the helicraft (or something inspired by the basic concept) in LEGO.

i'm sure we'd all like to read the story and see the LEGO creation - finished just in time for the earth to plummet into the sun a couple billion years from now!

[Rollo Tomassi]

there's definitely something that could be fleshed out there. i'm also considering building the helicraft (or something inspired by the basic concept) in LEGO.

i'm sure we'd all like to read the story and see the LEGO creation - finished just in time for the earth to plummet into the sun a couple billion years from now!

Oh man, fuck Ben Reilly.

He draws the crazies in like flypaper.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Here's another one I have to get down before I forget it.

I was in this convertible going to a party with some friends. I must've been in my early 20s because the chicks I was with we're smokin' hot and I doubt they're hanging out my 38 year old ass. Anyway, we stop at this random house and some douchebro picks up my phone, looks at it, then he drops it and the back breaks off. Then he just ignores it. I'm like "Hey douche, pick up the phone and hand it back." he and his fratboy cronies scoff at me so I get Mideval on his ass. Then something happened I can't remember, but our group (there were 5 of us in the car) and their group (the bigger group at the house) are in some kind of standoff. And I threaten to call the cops. The douchebro tries to call my bluff, so I dial 911.
The sheriff arrives and it's Andy Griffith. But older portly Andy except he's barrel chested. Anyway, the house were in is full of smuggled rare antiques. So they start inventorying all the stuff. The I tell my friends (and don't ask me how I know this) that something's not right and that Andy Griffith is the douchebro's grandfather and he's the guy in charge of the whole smuggling ring. So I contacted the FBI and came up with this whole elaborate Machiavellian scheme to trap Griffith and then reveal how i did it movie flashback style. Except I was doing all the "flashback" stuff in regular order, so it wasn't as dramatic.
Also, the brunette and the blonde in my 'posse' were so smokin' hot, but I have no idea who they were. I was wondering how your subconscious chooses faces in your dreams.

[Slicker]

I actually remembered one of my dreams from the other day. It's literally the first one I can remember from all of 2011.

I don't remember much of it but here goes:

For some reason I was under water but I could do anything I wanted to do (like move in any direction without swimming). I see this red thing at the bottom and it's the T-Rex from Jurassic Park...but it's bright red. For some reason it's eating a dog but it's taking small bites. After it gets done with the dog it notices me and, without moving at all, it somehow starts to come towards me. Thankfully I had a savior. Since I'm under water who naturally saves me but the fucking SHARKTOPUS!!! I got to witness firsthand the sharktopus whoop the shit out of a T-Rex. That's it. I woke up extremely happy.