VALENTINE, Neb. – A man dubbed the "Butt Bandit" for making greasy imprints of his nether parts on windows in the north-central Nebraska city of Valentine has been sentenced to more than a year in jail. Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott says police caught 35-year-old Thomas Larvie in the act on Nov. 19.
Scott says Larvie was sentenced Thursday to 13 1/2 months in jail after being convicted of eight misdemeanor counts of public indecency and one of disturbing the peace.
Authorities said Larvie used lotion or petroleum jelly to make imprints of his naked behind — and sometimes his groin — on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine beginning in the spring of 2007.
Townspeople dubbed the vandal the "Butt Bandit" even though no theft was involved.
Vynsane.com's The Phantom Man Ass did not return call for an interview.
I went to night school with the Butt Bandit. We were both studying to achieve our ASSociates degrees. Good people, very tone buttocks. It's a shame what will happen to it in jail.
Watch your cornhole, dude!
Here is my apprentice, Darth Turdanus. He will find your lost shit.
Icky, but worth a year in jail? We're a country of 'tards.
Here's how his first conversation will go:
"What you in for?"
"I killed seventeen people."
"I ate the governor."
"I shot up a school because the sound of screaming children gets me off."
"I abused a 92-year-old woman."
"How about you?"
"I pressed my butt against a window."
"That ain't all you gonna be pressing yo' butt against."
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
