the vynsane asylum

The movie was working better setting up the creepy isolation feel of the town and not actually seeing any vampires killing, then it inexplicably jumps to one character running into a room of scared, wide eyed people and he's talking about guns having no effect etc etc, then it cuts to a birdseye view outside of literally a hundred townfolk getting massacred (blood on snow, etc) and I'm like 'did they forget to splice a fucking reel in?'

Then it just devolved into typical people make dumb decisions and deservedly get picked off one by one movie.

The Mist. One of my favorite Stephen King stories ever FINALLY gets adapted to the big screen and Frank Darabont takes liberties with the ending in such a way as to make it one of the most depressing nihilistic films you will ever see. NOTHING like the original stories ending. I'm still turning it over in my head. Like WTF. Seriously.

August Rush. Saw this the same day. On a normal day I would go with sappy and predictable. but after Mist, I needed a good happy ending movie, and this one is a real zinger. Althought I've been assured by my guitar playing roommate that guitars are not played that way. A guitar is not a drum.

Love in the Time of Cholera. I guess this was based on some romantic book that every woman in the world loves. Had some funny moments. And some boobies. But it was a chick flick nonetheless ( and a bit confusing, since the guy decrares his love for the chick, then bones like 1000 women over the next 50 years, then they get together. How is that romantic? I don't understand women.)

Enchanted. Exactly as cornball as you expect. Like a giant saccharin ball in your tummy.

And the awesome grande finale...

No Country For Old Men. Holy shit, this movie was awesome. The Coen Brothers are back in fine form. Javier Bardem is so fucking magnificent in this movie, he's gong to win an Oscar. I sincerely hope one or more of you fuckers have seen this so we can discuss how fucking cool it is. The scene is the gas station alone is worthy of an Academy Award.

"Don't put it in your pocket."
"Why not?"
"Because then it becomes just another coin. Which it is."


Fuck it, this just became my new Best Movie of the year. Go check it out. Tonight. And don't come back pissing and moaning about how there wasn't enough action. It ain't that kind of movie. It's a great fucking movie. Awww man, my balls are tingling it was so good.

Love in the Time of Cholera is supposed to be a shitty adaptation of one of Gabriel Garcia Marquez' most famous novellas. I'm guessing part of why it's shitty is that Marquez is someone whose work would be almost impossible to accurately translate into something as "straightforward" as a mainstream movie. He's hardly a romance novelist. Now that Vonnegut is no longer with us, I think he's probably the greatest surviving writer. I'm absolutely serious. The guy is a fucking god. Read 100 Years of Solitude. That's easily one of the five greatest novels ever written. And it will make your head spin like a top.

STILL Nobody has seen No Country For Old Men? Man, fuck you guys. When you see it, you'll regret having waited.


Here's what I saw this weekend.

First off, hanging out at a friend's I sat through the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. Gory, bloody, stupid movie.

Atonement. Pretty good period piece. Interesting use of typewriter in the score was enjoyable. Impressive 5 minute tracking shot across a war torn beachfront in the middle. And a semi-shocking "twist" at the end. No Kiera nudity before you ask. And she has a chest like a 12 year old boy anyway.

Golden Compass. Brilliantly imaginative. I imagine watching this is what it was like for people to watch Star Wars 35 years ago. Now kids have become all jaded with special effects, but the story is cerebral enough to make kids come back for multiple viewings. Kids who are smart anyway. And just when you thought it couldn't get any cooler with the talking animals and armored bears, and hot witches, and James Bond, fucking Sam Elliot shows up as a cranky Han Solo type "Aeronaut". Sam Elliot makes anything cooler! And the fucking polar bear one on one combat was absolutely JAW DROPPING! Bears DO make things better. Especially when they are voiced by Gandalf/Magneto and Al Swearengen. Run right out see this*


*After you see No Country, you heathens!

No Country is near the top of my list, but, being in the middle of Buttfuck Egypt and having a baby, I'm more of a DVD man. So I'll probably see it in February. I love me some Coen Bros, even if I've seen less than half their stuff.

Saw Let's Go to Prison today. Not sure why this one bombed like it did. It's not the funniest movie ever made, but I laughed my ass off. It has Gob Bluth and Emerson Cod in it, which is more than enough reason to check it out.

I'm waiting until "No Country for Old Men" hits DVD. It's not like it's a blockbuster that I absolutely HAVE to see on the big screen. But I am looking forward to it.

Agreed on No Country.

I watched POTC3 today. Still a damn good flick

anarky wrote:There's a similar thread over at another site, but it's becoming more and more "three people discuss what horror flicks they've seen and ignore everyone else."

This hurts...

Well, in fairness, it did move away from that.

I've just never been much for horror flicks, especially the recent ones. It's not that I scare easily; quite the opposite, in fact.

Over the past couple weeks, I've watched 300, Monty Python's Holy Grail, and Strange Brew on dvd and parts of Ghostbusters and Death Race 2000 on TV.

For an 80s movie, Ghostbusters has held up surprisingly well. I missed the end of Death Race 2000, plus it was edited for TV. I'd like to see the whole thing to see how horrible it really is. Sly Stalone plays a bad guy.

anarky wrote:Well, in fairness, it did move away from that.

I've just never been much for horror flicks, especially the recent ones. It's not that I scare easily; quite the opposite, in fact.

Its all good, just givin' ya a hard time.

Watched Bender's Big Score tonight, which I really enjoyed. Liked it better than the Simp movie.

Reno 911: Miami

I'd heard this was bad. It wasn't. Granted, it wasn't as good as the show, but it was still fucking hilarious. The Rock's cameo was worth the price of admission. Hell, it was free on HBO, and I still wondered if I should send them the cost of a ticket after seeing that scene.

For Your Consideration

If you were wondering if Christopher Guest could direct a bad movie, well, apparently when he's not making fake documentaries, he comes damned close. There were a few funny parts, but, overall, this was a major disappointment when you consider the dude starred in This Is Spinal Tap and The Princess Bride, and wrote and directed a slew of great mockumentaries like A Mighty Wind and Best in Show.

Reno 911!: Miami sucked balls. I get three times the laughs out of one episode that I did in the 90 minutes of movie. It did have a few funny moments, but I was seriously disappointed.

No doubt the show is funnier, and packs more punch per minute. And it seems more "natural" and improved--the film was definitely scripted, and it showed.

I still don't think I'd go so far as saying it sucked balls, though. If nothing else, there were boobs.

The whole "Terry is really telling the truth" was a whole lot funnier at the beginning of this season, with Christina Applegate as Seeeemji.