My story
Moderators: Batman, Zero, John Madden, Bob Ross, General Zod, Richard Simmons
- homeless man
- bacon
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2005 12:17 am
My story
Hi fellas, its been awhile since I have been here. My life has changed so much. One day I was taking a piss outside a dumpster. I looked inside and saw a half eaten Olive Loaf sandwich. I was starving so I pulled it out of there. Right below it was an unscratched Lotto card, one of those win for life suckas. Well, I stuck it in my pocket until I found a penny on the floor that I could use to scratch it off with.
When I found a penny, I scratched the ticket. I won, I actually won. I was to be homeless no more. I walked into the store to claim my winnings and the guy said I needed an address to have the checks mailed to. I didnt know what to do. I went out back and took a shit in the alley and then ate the evidence.
I thought about it and went to my brothers house. I had to swallow my pride and see him. He was shocked ot find out what became of me. He took me in and fed me. A homecooked meal after 13 years is great stuff. I told him the story of the ticket and needing an address. I asked him if I could stay there and get my life straightened up if I gave him 1/2 my winnings while I was there. He agreed.
I found a job at the local Krispy Creme selling donuts. I made it to manager after only 4 weeks. I still go out back and pick the donuts from the trash that Habib throws away. I cant help myself. I have an apartment now and will be moving in on May 1st. My brother helped me alot. I have my life back. And the best news about everything is Snigtad didnt die. I feel so relieved about that.
When I found a penny, I scratched the ticket. I won, I actually won. I was to be homeless no more. I walked into the store to claim my winnings and the guy said I needed an address to have the checks mailed to. I didnt know what to do. I went out back and took a shit in the alley and then ate the evidence.
I thought about it and went to my brothers house. I had to swallow my pride and see him. He was shocked ot find out what became of me. He took me in and fed me. A homecooked meal after 13 years is great stuff. I told him the story of the ticket and needing an address. I asked him if I could stay there and get my life straightened up if I gave him 1/2 my winnings while I was there. He agreed.
I found a job at the local Krispy Creme selling donuts. I made it to manager after only 4 weeks. I still go out back and pick the donuts from the trash that Habib throws away. I cant help myself. I have an apartment now and will be moving in on May 1st. My brother helped me alot. I have my life back. And the best news about everything is Snigtad didnt die. I feel so relieved about that.
- The Grin
- darth vader
- Posts: 566
- Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:54 pm
- Location: Making sweet love to your mother
<font color="green">[^]How much did you win? You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man. Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
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- bacon
- Posts: 70
- Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:56 pm
- Mrs Funtime
- bacon
- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:08 pm
- Location: USA
- Eternal Padawan
- D.O.A.
- Posts: 3000
- Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2002 7:16 am
- Location: Morgue
- Contact:
With that much money, I'd have a reality show in Vegas and get a dozen hookers to come up to the penthouse and tell them that only one of them is getting the $100,000 fee. Whomever plies their trade on me the best gets the cash. Then get rid of one a week after they each fuck me silly in so many different positions and combos. And then sell the footage to a cable network and start the whole thing over again the following season.
- Ran
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 8701
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
- Location: barking up the wrong tree
Re:
Sounds like it would be one heck of a reality show.Eternal Padawan wrote:With that much money, I'd have a reality show in Vegas and get a dozen hookers to come up to the penthouse and tell them that only one of them is getting the $100,000 fee. Whomever plies their trade on me the best gets the cash. Then get rid of one a week after they each fuck me silly in so many different positions and combos. And then sell the footage to a cable network and start the whole thing over again the following season.