Stupid Shit you've done...

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 7:54 pm

...or "How I narrowly avoided recieving a Darwin Award."

Sometimes you're just an dumb ass on two legs. Coulda been thirty years ago, coulda been last week. Spill.

I was six. We were at a cookout of some people my dad worked with. All the kids are playing in the front yard while the adults jaw in the back. A dude pulls into the driveway on a motorcycle and walks around back. Being mister mechanic all the sudden, I look at the two little kids next to me and say "This is very dangerous. Don't try this..." and proceed to grab the muffler exhaust on the cycle. The rest of the night is blurred from the pain. I do remember watching solid ice cubes take five seconds to melt in my hand...

Oh, there are more where that came from, but you first...

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon Aug 25, 2003 7:57 pm

I was going out with this girl. We were hanging out with a bunch of friends. Some of us decided togo to Carvel for some ice cream. I asked her if she wanted anything. SHe said no, I am trying to watch my weight. SO I replied they have Thinny thin.

FOr those of you who dont know Thinny Thin is dietic ice cream. Anywas, she bitched and moaned.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 9:10 am

allow the sultan of stupidity to post...

I was at this bush party, I was mebbe 22 or so, mebbe a bit older...
these kids were blowing black sambuca into a fire to make "dragon breath"... I told em to step back and see it done right... I musta had 4-5 shots in my mouth and leaned in... as I breathed fire most impressively, it became clear that the flame was getting closer.... being too drunk to just get away, I leaned into it and treid to get it all out, which made the flames intense like a blast furnace... suddenly the flames got to my face and the dribbles down the sides of my mouth caught fire, as well as a fireball in my hair and all my facial hair gone in an instant, next thing I knew I was rolling on the ground laughing as the kids I was trying to impress put me out.... I had no eyelashes or brows the next day, my hair was a bit shorter, and I had blisters all over my face, and the end of my nose was blackened in a little circle, like a burnt hotdog.... MAN was that stupid, and embarassing, specially since after that I crawled into the bushes and threw up til I passed out....
No worries, I learned several lessons and have never since failed to apply them

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 2:07 am

Fuck is that hilarious... I went off the deep end in university, just psycho. Jodi and I had a huge fight after we got back together, I called her everything but white and sent her off somewhere (she was visiting me 5 hours from her place). Later on, she slapped me to tune me in, my fucking roommates had to tackle me to keep me from going after her. Anyhow, I spazzed and threw a couple of beer bottles around, put some holes in the wall.... THEN I CALLED MY FOLKS, CRYING LIKE AN IDIOT. I passed out, and woke up to piss, still seeing triple at like 7am. Who's in the living room? Mom and Dad, mom in tears. They had driven the 5hrs to Kingston right after I called, all through the night, to take me home from school - they thought I was suicidal or some fucking thing. After a long day of explaining, I wound up staying and Jodi got a free ride home. Somehow I managed to piece it back together (the relationship I mean) but that always seems to come up when I get back together with my old roommates, funnier than shit now. Wasn't then.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 9:44 am

Yeah, man, no matter how stupid something is, it's worse when the parents are involved....
Glad you mellowed out Jim, I try to picture it but it just doesn't work, that's CRAZY...
I wish I couldn't sympathize... ah well, that's the beauty of the past... there's lots of stuff I can recall that just makes me laugh and shake my head...

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Sep 03, 2003 2:14 pm

Once in high school, this girl was going to drive a friend and me across the parking lot (which was rather large). My buddy gets the bright idea that we will stand on the rear bumper and hold onto the luggage rack. Everything's going just hunky-dory until I get an even brighter idea.

"Watch this. This is going to make her shit her pants."

And with that, I released my hold on the luggage rack. The car was only going about 15 mph, but I neglected to take into account that Newton's laws still apply. Long story short, I hit the ground and everything but my feet kept moving forward, so I rolled about ten times and spent the rest of the week barely able to move my arms and legs because they were so scabused up.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Sep 03, 2003 2:17 pm

I take it the word for what Kobie Bryant does in his free time is the other banned word?

scabused
scabused
scr-aped

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Sep 03, 2003 6:46 pm

scabused?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Sep 03, 2003 6:47 pm

abuse

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Sep 03, 2003 6:47 pm

hmmmmmmmmm......

asshole abuse

Post by **vynsane** » Wed Sep 03, 2003 6:54 pm

ah... hmmm... seems to be a snafu with the autocensor in that capacity...

yeah, i've got a... thing with that word. known too many victimized chicks, y'know?

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 9:05 am

Yeah,it's all good, that word can't really be used in fun... it DOES make it easier to discuss gabuse drink...
I LOVE the autocensor, man, much better than *****
I'm trying to think of the king of stupid shit I've done, still...
Boiling a gallon of water in a pot with a broken handle and taking it off the stove while wearing heavy work socks was stupid... when the left sock came off, all the skin on my foot went with it... the pain was incredible, and for 2 weeks I had to scabuse... err, ah scrub off the crud 2 times a day and put this ointment on it... it hurt like fuck, to be sure... 'nother lesson learned the hardest way

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:12 pm

So, uh, if you set up the autocensor so it turned "ass" to "butt" (as in the infamous "Clbuttic Trilogy" fiasco at SSG a while back), and then someone wrote the name of the banned one, and the autocensor turned it to "asshole," would it then automatically turn it to "butthole," or would it go completely nuts and move to Montana to start a dental floss farm?

Post by **vynsane** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 1:32 pm

i think if that happened, either the server, or possibly the entire universe would explode.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:57 pm

That would be funny mrsparkle