Man "abused" by Wombat

[Antropov]

Holy. Shit.

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

The Grin was unavailable for questioning.

[mabudon]

"using the phone for a fictitious purpose"?!?!?
Wonder what using the interwebs for such a thing would land ya- good thing we're not in NZ- hope the cobhamites didn't get the same punishment for participating here
(actually that'd be fuckin FUNNY)

[The Grin]

Holy. Shit.

[ The Grin was unavailable for questioning.

Because I was banging your mother. O Yes!

Anyway, Bizarro the Grin has been missing for a while, maybe it was him.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

"using the phone for a fictitious purpose"?!?!?
Wonder what using the interwebs for such a thing would land ya- good thing we're not in NZ- hope the cobhamites didn't get the same punishment for participating here
(actually that'd be fuckin FUNNY)

If you consider wholesale slaughter funny, then yeah, they paid the price.