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The Official Sloth Webpage



Real Ultimate Power


Hi, this site is all about sloths, REAL SLOTHS.  This site is awesome.    My name is Frank and I can't stop thinking about sloths.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.




1.    Sloths are mammals.

2.    Sloths fight ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the sloth is to flip out and kill people.



Weapons and gear:


sloth sloth   

Sloth claws                   Stupid grin   









Sloths can kill anyone they want!  Sloths cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this sloth who was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the sloth killed the whole town.  My friend Amanda said that she saw a sloth totally slash some kids eyes out just because the kid made fun of the sloth's stupid grin.


And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


If you don't believe that sloth's have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  


Sloths are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  SLoths are slow, dumb looking, hairy, smelly, covered in algae because they move so slow, and sweet.  I can't wait to start biology next year.  I love sloths with all of my body (including my pee pee).    



Q and A:.



Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about sloths?

A: Sloths are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, sloths are very slow and hairy.


Q: I heard that sloths are always dumb looking or smelly.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, sloths can be smelly OR totally awesome. 


Q: What do sloths do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent moving slowly, but sometime they move even slower.  (Ask Amanda if you don't believe me.)




This is a picture of a sloth ready to strike!

Look at those claws!

I bet they hurt!





Click HERE to buy cool sloth stuff!

(and by cool, i mean TOTALLY SWEET, of course, DUH!)

Click HERE to discuss sloths in all their glory!

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