You gay fags all have corona & I do not.

[Diabolical]

I heard that the Canadian Pfizer vaccine actually makes your weiner smaller.

[anarky]

I had to buy larger underwear the next day, my tallywhacker grew so much.

[Ran]

I've been having daily conversations with Bill Gates since I got the vaccine. He told me to tuck it into my sock.

[vynsane]

so, i made it 3 years, 3 months without an infection. that ended this past saturday.

i'm not sure exactly how i got it, but either it was a longer incubation variant and i got it on father's day (had an outdoor brunch at the air strip, then a flying lesson later that night - not too likely) or it was a shorter incubation variant and i got it at a work conference on thursday in NYC at the Javits Center (more likely). the only reason i'm not 100% sure was that i had a slight tickle in my throat starting on wednesday. we then went to my brother-in-law's house on friday, slept over, had my niece's birthday party all day saturday, then we drove home. on the drive home (i was driving) i started feeling worse and worse. by the time we got home, i had to just go inside and hit the sheets, couldn't help unpack the car or anything.

what follows is my journey through COVID, as illustrated by John C. Reilly.


SUNDAY - chills, sweats

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i then had fever dreams all night long into sunday, with thoughts about the position my body was in and how it was the optimal way to sleep at that time. i woke up the next morning feeling absolutely miserable. i took my temperature - 102.7 in one ear, 103.1 in the other. my wife went ordered some rapid tests, and i took one, and she simply opened the door to the bedroom (with a mask on), threw a mask at me and said "you have COVID" (no shit, the sudden appearance of a mask kinda tipped me off).


MONDAY, TUESDAY - confusion, disorientation

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the fever never broke 100 again after that morning, and i got better with each day, though i was pretty out of it for monday and tuesday. our daughter was scheduled to start an architecture residency camp at Fallingwater (the Frank Lloyd Wright house in PA) on monday morning, and we were supposed to drive her to LaGuardia for a 7am flight. my wife had to take her by herself. that afternoon, i must have fallen asleep. i woke up and it was kinda dark out, and i check the clock and it says 5:21. i have a text from my wife asking if i'm awake. i put on a mask, go to the den, and see that she's kinda just waking up. i say "didn't you sleep in [our daughter]'s room last night?" and she says "she slept in her room last night". i say "no, you took her to the airport yesterday!" and she says "that was this morning!" i got so confused by the text, the time, and the atmosphere outside that i thought it was tuesday morning, but i had only slept for like an hour or two. that's where my mind was for a few days.


WEDNESDAY - gastrointestinal evacuation

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yesterday morning, even the left-over mild fever broke. and then the pooping started. like all day long.


THURSDAY - i (don't) sense something...

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today, i realized that i hadn't showered in four days, and couldn't smell myself. or my coffee. or the cat litter. or the chickens (i had to take care of them today). so i've gone smell-blind. i can still taste, though... over-all i feel much better today than the previous few days. still tested positive this morning.


TOMORROW

we were supposed to drive to Fallingwater to pick my daughter up and see the grounds, the building, where she was dorming, and get a tour. i can't go, so my wife has to go without me. my mom is going to accompany her, though, so at least there's that. i'm really disappointed. hopefully i get another chance, i would love to see the house!

[Tom Foolery]

That’s really rough my dude. Hopefully it won’t last too much longer.

[Ran]

I didn't know that pooping was a side effect. Thanks for illustrating with John C. Reilly.

[vynsane]

thanks, yeah, i'm still testing positive today. thursday i felt a lot better, but the last two days were a bit of a backslide in terms of energy level and cough/stuffy nose. it's weird. it might have to do with the air quality in the area (we have Canada wildfire smoke wafting through our area again).

sometimes gastrointestinal issues are associated with COVID. my daughter had a lot of nausea and vomiting when she had it back in february, after the primary fever/respiratory stuff. i generally just don't get nausea, and my GI problems are usually lower. in fact, before this past Cinco de Mayo, (not entirely sure if it was all the margaritas or just that i had a bad batch of pork tacos) i can't remember the last time i threw up. it might have been college.

[jjreason]

Jesus Christ man. I hope it's gone & that things get back to normal asap. I'm still a proud "super avoider" - never tested positive (and sense I've stopped testing completely), never will.

[vynsane]

thanks, man. i seem to be on the mend, but we'll see. my wife still hasn't tested positive, but my father-in-law did yesterday. he was in the car with us all the way to and from my niece's birthday party, so it appears my wife is somehow immune. despite still testing positive, i spent the better part of the day today getting the pool deck cleaned up for our 4th of July party. i'm pretty beat at this point.

[vynsane]

finally tested negative for the first time today. still feel like i have a cold, little bit of a cough and stuffy/runny nose.

[Ran]

Welcome back to the world of being negative.

[Tom Foolery]

finally tested negative for the first time today. still feel like i have a cold, little bit of a cough and stuffy/runny nose.

The good news is you can now swim in a pool of concentrated Covid and you’re basically immune.

It’s science. I read it on the internets.

[vynsane]

i'm finding that i'm somewhat affected by the "brain fog" associated with "long COVID". the other day i was in a video call and the wrong word came out of my mouth compared to what i meant, and it stopped me dead in my tracks because i completely lost the train of thought.

it's not John C. Reilly, but it sums up how i feel:

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