We can make threads again! I'm going to celebrate...
Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 10:11 pm
...by drumming up your website traffic in awesome new ways! Here's my surefire plan.
First, I register the YouTube name "vynsane." Next, I post my super-awesome video.
I'll be wearing a Spider-Man mask and a shirt that says shows a picture of Princess Diana topless and fellating a horse. I will lumber onto the screen, mumbling, "Dah, I am a retarded! Dar! Dar!" in a Mexican accent. Then, as "Jesus Loves Me" blares over a speaker in the back, I will remove the shirt (showing a picture of Buckwheat and the words "I hate n_____s, otay!" faked-tattooed on my pasty white chest), and say, "Man, I could sure use some loving." I'll pull out a lifelike baby doll and engage in all sorts of simulated, depraved sex acts, while audio of a baby crying plays in tune to my pelvic thrusts. Finally, I'll throw the baby doll onto the ground, where the camera pans to show a filthy litter box. I'll say, "Dammit, that's where I left my Bible and Koran!" and pull them both out of the litter box, showing them to be covered with turds, which I lick off (they're really chocolate, see, but the viewer won't know that).
Finally, I look out at the camera and say, "See more at baconhelmet.com, bitches!" Because if I give the mirror site address, none of the small minority of people who are offended will link it to you, right?
First, I register the YouTube name "vynsane." Next, I post my super-awesome video.
I'll be wearing a Spider-Man mask and a shirt that says shows a picture of Princess Diana topless and fellating a horse. I will lumber onto the screen, mumbling, "Dah, I am a retarded! Dar! Dar!" in a Mexican accent. Then, as "Jesus Loves Me" blares over a speaker in the back, I will remove the shirt (showing a picture of Buckwheat and the words "I hate n_____s, otay!" faked-tattooed on my pasty white chest), and say, "Man, I could sure use some loving." I'll pull out a lifelike baby doll and engage in all sorts of simulated, depraved sex acts, while audio of a baby crying plays in tune to my pelvic thrusts. Finally, I'll throw the baby doll onto the ground, where the camera pans to show a filthy litter box. I'll say, "Dammit, that's where I left my Bible and Koran!" and pull them both out of the litter box, showing them to be covered with turds, which I lick off (they're really chocolate, see, but the viewer won't know that).
Finally, I look out at the camera and say, "See more at baconhelmet.com, bitches!" Because if I give the mirror site address, none of the small minority of people who are offended will link it to you, right?