Transformers Movie - Live Action

[anarky]

If #5 starts with anything other than Swerve wiping a counter around a conked-out Trailcutter, who wakes up and says, "You won't believe the crazy dream I had," it will suck.

[Tom Foolery]

“I have not committed to any idea as of yet,” he wrote.

You've done 4 TF films. Why start now?

[anarky]

“I have not committed to any idea as of yet,” he wrote.

You've done 4 non-TF films. Why start now?

Fixed that for you.

[anarky]

The trailer for #5 came out, and it looks like Michael Bay finally realized you don't get more over-the-top than a giant Transformer who eats planets.

I'm guessing Unicron will be voiced by Amy Schumer and really eats planets because he doesn't like the existence of round things bigger than his testicles.

[Tom Foolery]

That trailer is such otter piss covered wet garbage, I'm not even gonna bother hot linking it here.
Michael Bay needs to be neutered.

[Tom Foolery]

TF5 only made $37 million this weekend. By comparison, the first one opened at $70m and the other three made right around $100m each.

I guess this is what happens when you take an entire generation's benchmark of what a Good Guy is and turn him into a fucking villain.
It only took a decade too long, but the world finally figured out these movies suck.

[Diabolical]

And $200 million worldwide.
So, there will be more.

[Tom Foolery]

Oh they've already green lit TF6 AND a standalone Bumblebee movie.
But Bay said this was his last one.

[jjreason]

My hope for anyone else making a good movie is low, but it's mile high compared to my hope for humanity after hearing "we" spent $200 million to see this movie.

[Tom Foolery]

Most of that was Chinese money.

And if you think about it, $200m worldwide is actually pretty shitty numbers.

[anarky]

I swear to God, all you have to do is bring on Furman, Roberts, and Barber as screenwriters.

It would take a conscious effort to turn that to shit.

[Tom Foolery]

I swear to God, all you have to do is bring on Furman, Roberts, and Barber as screenwriters.

It would take a conscious effort to turn that to shit.

The target audience of the current Bayformers franchise would not understand the cleverness of that screenplay. They would become agitated and the ensuing riot would cause the collapse of society as we know it.

[anarky]

Looks like the mysterious animated prequel is getting a trailer soon.

I'm not exited. I'll wager Newsbot isn't excited, either.

They have a ton of great material to work with, but we know they won't and what we get will be a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

[anarky]

The trailer for Transformers One just dropped.

I'm not linking it. I don't want vynnie to get in trouble for having it on his site now that abortion is illegal in many states.

Watching it made me long for the edgy gravitas of Rescue Bots.

[Tom Foolery]

The top comment on youtube is “Nobody hates Transformers like Transformers fans” and that just isn’t true. Hasbro and Paramount hate Transformers way more than the fans do.

When I read the synopsis a year ago, I thought what a great way to make a morality play and make Megatron more complicated and redeemable, and make Optimus less righteous and more shaped by compromise to events too big for themselves. A real Tragedy of watching two comrades fall apart under the crushing ideologies that lead to a multi-million year war.

But instead we are getting this shit. Now I’m angry.