The Official "Recommend Shitty Movies for JJL" Thread!

[anarky]

I'm not doing this to be mean. Quite the opposite. You have a unique love of watching shitty movies, and I mean to broaden your horizons. I hope everyone else will do the same.

First up, Masters of the Universe.

You have to watch this movie. It is utter shit. Visually, it actually has some impressive work (some, not all--the makeup is horrendous). But it blatantly steals so much from Return of the Jedi and one random 1966 Captain America comic (where Red Skull finds the Cosmic Cube) that it's unforgiveable. Add in embarrassing acting from Ivan Drago, this weird midget guy who teaches everyone that a synthesizer can save the world (I guess he replaced Orko since they couldn't do a convincing Orko in 1987?) and an underwhelming film debut from that chick from the Springsteen video who went on to be a star for some stupid TV show or some shit and is better known for marrying the dude from Eight Legged Freaks, and you're screwed from the get-go.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Hell yeah! Awesome thread idea!

This site is, I believe, where I first heard of Mac and Me, which spurred the creation of Macathon, the celebration of all that is wrong with the cinema. Macathon 08 featured The Wicker Man, Plan 9 from Outer Space, and of course, Mac and Me. Macathon 09 will, as of right now, feature The Underground Comedy Movie, The Room, and Mac and Me. But Masters of the Universe is, at least, a contender for later ones. Thanks!

[Ran]

Not exactly a shitty movie, but have you seen Flash Gordon from 1980 with the Queen soundtrack? It is so cheesy it is hilarious. Porkins and a bunch of other actors from Star Wars are in it. I think one guy was even the voice of Boss Nass.

[Jargo]

Battle beyond the stars. I highly recommend it. starring George Peppard smoking a cigar, Robert Vaughn being haughty, John Saxon being campy villainous and Richard Thomas being naively dumb. It's The Magnificent Seven in space. Produced by Roger Corman and it's so shitty it's brilliant. It came out in 1980 and I actually saw it at a cinema in big screen glory. let me tell you the hero spaceship has fukkin gonads. and there's a large breasted woman playing a Valkyrie, one of the seven mercenaries in an outfit that is trouser tighteningly fabulous.

[mabudon]

Megaforce, and Metalstorm: the destruction of Jared Syn

Both KILLER bad, tho MetalStorm is by far funnier (and more intellectually offensive) and shittier PLUS it has aliens.. hmm lemme see...

Well there's part one of megaforce http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=9WHbj27cPRk

[anarky]

That music is teh awesomes!!

The opening reminds me a bit of Omega Force from Canadian Bacon. (Put that on your list, too, JJL. It's not a bad movie, but hella funny.)

[Ran]

Battle beyond the stars. I highly recommend it. starring George Peppard smoking a cigar, Robert Vaughn being haughty, John Saxon being campy villainous and Richard Thomas being naively dumb. It's The Magnificent Seven in space. Produced by Roger Corman and it's so shitty it's brilliant. It came out in 1980 and I actually saw it at a cinema in big screen glory. let me tell you the hero spaceship has fukkin gonads. and there's a large breasted woman playing a Valkyrie, one of the seven mercenaries in an outfit that is trouser tighteningly fabulous.

Good choice. Back in the day, that was one of those movies that some channel always had on the Satruday Afternoon Matinee. It appears that the DVD is out of print. Otherwise, I would probably buy it.

Also, try Ice Pirates. Water becomes a scarse commodity in the galaxy and there are robot fights. Got the DVD a while back.

How about The Beastmaster or Krull? Did they stand the test of time? I haven't seen either of those in years.

[Jargo]

beastmaster got it's own tv show. not to mention a sequel.

space truckers is another bad movie that's kinda cool. it's Got Dennis hopper and Charles dance and Stephen Dorff in it. killer alieny robot things and very little plot.

my paramour has a taste for truly awful sci-fi. he keeps buying those DVDS that no-one else will from the bargain basement section of Play.com and amazon. the kind of stuff that is pure rip off of alien and terminator, species and predator. full of Z list names. there's one with Billy Dee Williams in it so i'll have a route through his DVD collection next time I'm over there and find that one's title. oh and there's one that's ripped off from Jurassic park where the dinosaurs are people in rubber suits. cheeeeeeese.

[kidhuman]

Street Fighter the Movie. That was a fucking Turd from the Devils ass itself

[Double_G]

The bad movie to end all bad movies:



Watching it is kinda like looking into the Ark of the Covenant, except you don't get the mercy of being killed after seeing it. You have to live with the suffering.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

The image isn't working for me, but was it supposed to be Kazaam? Fuck, I saw that when I was six. I don't really remember much about it (and nothing at all positive about it).

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions, as well.

[UKWildcat]

How about The Beastmaster or Krull? Did they stand the test of time? I haven't seen either of those in years.

Never seen Krull, but I watched The Beastmaster not too long ago. I have the SE DVD. I used to watch this all the time as a kid so it has some sentimental value. I love Don Coscarelli, Phantasm and Bubba Ho-tep are two of my favorite horror movies. So I think this movie has held up, but I'm sure others would disagree. Fairly good story, decent action, cool animals and female nudity. Sweet!

[Ran]

Anyone want to comment on the Iron Eagle or American Ninja movies?

[Ran]

Gymkata

All I really remember about this one is that there was gymnastics equipment conveniently located everywhere.

[kidhuman]

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