I call upon everyone to celebrate Kwanzaa

[anarky]

I'm going to go out on a limb here. At the risk of offending some folks, Kwanzaa is bullshit. Absolute, utter bullshit. It was made up in 1966. Not even based on any traditional African holiday. Just some made-up bullshit that some semitard professor dreamed up so that militant blacks, who wanted to distance themselves from the Judeo-Christian tradition their ancestors had found unjustly forced upon them, could still give presents to their kids without "selling out."

I'm not being a racist. I hope you all know me well enough to know I fucking can't stand racism and would like to kick every racist of every color right in the nads.

Kwanzaa is racist, though. It's a hodgepodge of mixed-up traditions that, chances are, aren't even remotely related to the nations from which the people celebrating it are descended. Mostly Swahili, since even most black people aren't informed enough about Africa to know there's a whole hell of a lot of variation in the cultures of the entire fucking continent. If that's not fostering ignorance, what is? There's no "white person" holiday that's based on German traditions with a few Spanish things mixed in because "all white people are the same."

No shit, the traditional meal includes cornbread and greens. Soul food. Now, as a red-blooded Southern boy, I can tell you all that's some of the best damned food you can put in your belly, but African it ain't. For starters, they don't even have fucking corn in Africa. (Well, they probably do now, but it's not a native plant.) No, this is stereotypical "black folk" food. It's actually seen as such because it comes from southeastern and Caribbean Indian tribes who sheltered and protected escaped slaves. These former slaves and their descendants adopted the food as their own.

Do you know anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa? I don't either. Only fucking tight-ass professors and talentless poets like Maya Angelou do, and they're the ones who should be educated enough to fucking know better!

And let's bring up the elephant in the room. I said before there's no "white person" holiday that ignorantly mixes up traditions based on some blanket statement about an entire skin color. But there's no "white person" holiday at all. I cannot think of any other holiday that's entirely based on skin color. Anyone can celebrate Christmas, Channakuh, Ramadan, whatever. It's the beliefs that are important, not the color of one's skin.

Since Kwanzaa is both stupid and racist, I hereby call upon everyone to celebrate Kwanzaa from this point on. For it is a celebration of African roots. And, face it, unless you think the earth is 6,000 years old and was made in six days, we are all from Africa. Some of us just have to go back a couple of million years further than others to find our roots.

I will work on coming up with some way in which we should honor our roots as children of Africa in some way that properly disrespects the joke that is Kwanzaa.

[mabudon]

beautiful, I am with you 110% on the movement..

Folks don't "get" when I rip om "kwanzaa"

[Slicker]

I've always thought kwanzaa (see my disdain for it by not even capitalizing it!!!) was just some made up BS to make black people different. I've noticed that people are always preaching about being equal then they make up some BS like this to try and distance themselves and try to be better. WTF?

[vynsane]

all religions and religious ceremonies are made up. christmas is just a misappropriation of the winter solstice pagan tradition of the cult of mithras, when the christians were trying to convert people. scriptures point to the shepherds tending their sheep, which would only happen during grazing season, not in the winter, so it's probably highly unlikely that jesus was born in december.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

I don't get why they have to lump Kwanzaa in with Christmas and Hanukkah just because it's around the same time (even if it's acknowledged less) but never, ever talk about any other religious holidays. There are no fucking Ramadan or Eid specials, and yet at least some characters on Christmas specials always have to celebrate Kwanzaa in the background or whatever. I celebrate Christmas yet I'm atheist, yet I can never celebrate Kwanzaa. I don't know. The PC police go too damn far sometimes.

[Zero]

I AM GOING THE ALTERNATE ROUTE AND CREATING THE NEW HOLIDAY FELCHMAAS. LATINOS, BLACKS, ASIANS, JEWS, RUSSIANS, CANADIANS, OLD PEOPLE, HANDICAPPED (BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY), FAT CHICKS, ALL FAT PEOPLE, BRATTY KIDS, PARENTS OF BRATTY KIDS, ANYONE WHO WATCHES REALITY tv AND ENJOYS IT, POLITICIANS, PEOPLE WHO MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY FOR WHAT THEY DO, LIKE ACTORS AND CEOs OF CORPORATIONS, LAWYERS, MINIMUM WAGE ASSHOLES WHO DON'T THINK TO BETTER THEMSELVES THROUGH EDUCATION, ANY EMPLOYEES OF WALMART, POMPOUS COLLEGE PROFESSORS, BEATNIKS(IF THEY STILL EXIST), HIPPIES, ROCK STARS, MOTORCYCLE ENTHUSIASTS, ALUMNI OF FRATERNITIES/SORORITIES, HOGS, SNOOTY BITCHES, UGLY BITCHES, DENTISTS, CAVITY CREEPS, HOME OWNERS, RENTERS, AND THE HOMELESS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CELEBRATE. AND TWIKI.

[anarky]

Celebratory point #1:

As we are celebrating our African roots, we must listen to Van Halen's self-titled album as loudly as possible. Why, you ask? Simple. They were originally called "Mammoth." A mammoth is an elephant. And what is the animal most immediately associated with Africa? The elephant.

"Running With the Devil" at full volume for seven days straight, motherfuckers!

[anarky]

Not intending this as a meaningless bump, but is everyone planning to celebrate Kwanzaa this year?

[Ran]

Isn't that 7 months out? I don't even know what I'm doing Memorial Day Weekend, and that starts tomorrow.

[Slicker]

Also, it's creator is a murderer!