Convention exclusives

[anarky]

Why is it that a lot of collectors seem to think horseshit convention exclusives are "canon" and as important as the real deal?

I'm not talking official stuff, like Springfield Cobra Commander or Lobo or even Jorg Sacul. I'm talking the godawful horseshit where fan clubs lease molds from Hasbro, produce utter shit, then have some retarded second-grader write a horrid fanfic story and get a retarded kindergartener to draw it in crayon?

Disregard the Botcon exclusive Classics Seekers. Those are real characters; two actually have new tooling. I'm talking more of the figures that came with them. Repainting Bumblebee in white, saying he's BugBite from the Gobots (though there's no resemblance AT ALL) and has come from the Gobot world to seek vengeance on the Transformers for inadvertently destroying it? WTF?

Transformers have some ridiculous-stupid comics that I wouldn't wipe my ass with, much less drop $50 on and cherish. GIJoe gets insanely retarded repaints and new figures. Looking around, I saw a Dreadnok convention set from 2004. It comes with some classic characters, two badly-conceived new guys (one of whom is a white aborigine from Canada--what the bloody fuck?), and six.... Please swallow your drink or I won't be responsible. Six identical cousins called Dreadheads with names like Cletus, Otis, Billy-Bob, Joe Bob, and shit like that, who have been obsessed with killing Beach Head since they were all kids.

Jesus fucking Christ. There's a reason they hire people to make this shit up. Because retarded fans can't do it very well. And their shit shouldn't be immortalized for others to see. And certainly shouldn't be commanding high prices on eBay and treated like legitimate figures.

[Ran]

The idea of Gobots seeking revenge is actually kind of funny.

Don't insult retarded grade school kids like that. It must take years of sitting in the dark in front of a computer screen drinking mountain dew in their mom's basement to come up with some of that stuff.

I've been trying to get my little one to come up with some more Star Wars EU, but she's too facinated by the AT-AT to get a story out of her. Although, she did decide that the Royal Guards and Gammorean Guards like to play hide-and-seek. She believes that the Rancor Keeper and the Gammorean Guards are stinky and like to fart a lot.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Although, she did decide that the Royal Guards and Gammorean Guards like to play hide-and-seek.

I did not know that!
With each other?
I did not know that!

She believes that the Rancor Keeper and the Gammorean Guards are stinky and like to fart a lot.

This is true.