Retailers can suck my ass

[RoIIo Tomassi]

What color collar do the people who work at Wal-Mart and Target wear? It ain't white collar. it ain't blue collar. What is it? Anyway, that was just me thinking out loud.

So I went into Target this Sunday looking for three specific things. I need some new bedsheets. I wanted some picture frames. And I wanted to get one of those little needle and thread kits so I can repair a hole in my jeans pocket and not have to go out and spend $30 on a new pair of jeans.

They didn't have the frames I was looking for. No big deal.
They didn't have any decent queen sized sheets that weren't hideously fugly. Which, on a Sunday, I guess is there were a lot of sheet buying over the weekend? I like a high thread count. But they were out and that's that. Bummed, but understanding.

So I go to look for the needle and thread. I have no idea where they keep that shit in Target. So I ask an employee. She doesn't know. I go to ask another employee. She only works in women's clothes. ( How dare I ask). The third woman is DEAF and cuts me off before I can ask her anything. I end up asking five employees, and two people who are NOT employees.

As an aside. Why the fuck would you go into Target wearing a red shirt and khakis? And if you were so stupidly inclined to do so, why on earth would you get perturbed and offended when people approach you with Target related questions? If I walked into McDonalds with a paper hat on, acne, and grabbed a mop, I sure as shit wouldn't get pissy when someone ordered a small fry from me. Fuckin' fucktards.

But anyway. After getting sent all over the store by people who don't have the first fuck what is going on, I gave up and bought a couple of Hydra Soldiers and a case of soda pop. My total was $22.82. I had quite a bit of loose change in my pocket, but not 82 cents, so I decided to get rid of it. I handed the cashier 32 cents and a $50 bill. She looks at me and says "It's 22.82."
"I know." I reply. I can already see where this is going.
"You gave me 32."
"I'm aware." I said pleasantly.
"It's 82." she reiterates.
"I know. I gave you 50.32"
"It's 22.82" she says pointing at the readout
"I'm just going to sit here while the wheels turn in your head."
[BLANK STARE]
"You'll figure it out eventually"
[MORE BLANK STARE]
"So, yeah, I gave you a bunch of change I don't want. You're going to give me TWO QUARTERS and a bunch of bills."


WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING STUPID?!?

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

People don't even have an excuse for that kind of shit with the change, since everything is done with computers anyway. But Target doesn't train you for shit (I thought their training program just sucked when I was there last year, but I later found out that I somehow missed a great chunk of it).

[anarky]

But you do get to go to the same sorts of on-the-floor rallies that Wal-Mart uses to motivate people who aren't paid enough to be motivated.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Nope, I never did that. They often had meetings right in the middle of the fucking store that I always avoided by saying I was working, which was usually true. But they never had any pep rally-type things.

[anarky]

They didn't have mandatory cheering?

I've been in many stores (WM and Target) where they're having a morning meeting and cheering like morons.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Not that I ever saw, and I worked at every time of day. I've also never seen one at any store, WM or Target, but maybe I just miss them.

[anarky]

Weird. I've seen it in NC, VA, and various parts of southern CA. Maybe your manager knew it was retarded?

I would honestly, if I was in the next aisle (which happened often in VA, since the toy section was right next to the pharmacy, where they had those meetings) pretend I wasn't alone and say, "Damn, can you believe they not only pay them jackshit but make them act like morons too?"

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Well my managers WERE retarded, so maybe it canceled out.

[kidhuman]

I dont work there and I avoid those morning meetings. They have them at the registers. I especially hate it when I am purchasing something and I pull them away and they look at me like I just disturbed the Geneva Summit

[Antropov]

They didn't have mandatory cheering?

I've been in many stores (WM and Target) where they're having a morning meeting and cheering like morons.

When I worked at Target (2001-04) we would have a daily "huddle" in the backroom, far from the salesfloor. It wasn't a pep rally at all, just the team leads and ETL(s) talking about the night's goals, addressing potential problems (for example, if it was a Sunday we would get a heads up about what items we were out of and what we could and could not write rain checks for), assigning departments and making a guess as to what time we'd be out that night. 99% of my shifts were at night (5pm-11pm), but on the rare occasion that I did work mornings (usually ad set on Sundays) we would have our huddle by the service desk. Depending on the ETL we might do stretches or something (which actually felt pretty good and were made even better by the hot chick that would touch her toes in front of you), but never any "HIP HIP HOORAY!" shit.

As for the whole checkout thing, JJL nailed it. Its done by a goddamn computer. There is no excuse to question what people give you in terms of bills and change as long as it at least covers the owed amount. When I worked there people would give me money like what Rollo did and I would just think "WTF?!" in my head and then see what they were thinking once I ENTERED THE GODDAMN NUMBERS INTO THE OVERSIZED CALCULATOR WITH MONEY IN IT. That bitch was having a bad day and she was trying to make someone look stupid. Guarantee it.

But Target doesn't train you for shit (I thought their training program just sucked when I was there last year, but I later found out that I somehow missed a great chunk of it).

The training is pretty solid. Granted, there is a lot of stuff that can really only be learned "on the job" (no matter how many times you read the manual to figure out how to, say, run a check through, you can obly learn how to do it by doing it). I never worked a cashier shift, but I did enough "Code 1's" that I got it pretty quick. I did, however, hat dealing with vouchers. Those were an archaic pain in the balls, especially when a gift card could have just as easily been issued.

The best was when we were talking about having to ask for ID when people write a check (which usually happens when it is for more than $50) and that we'll have to enter the abbreviation for the state that issued their license. I was AMAZED that the manager leading the training had no answer for me when I asked the procedure for dealing with Canadian IDs. This is a store that is no more than three hours from the border and this ignorant whore said, "Oh, we don't have to worry about that."

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

The training is pretty solid.

Maybe it was just my store, then.

For the alcohol sales (since I was 17 at the time) all I had to do was take a shitty little online test in the back, and I could retake it until I passed (they gave you the answers at the end, but I didn't write them down so it took like three times to get it all straight). I felt like a retard, but the GSTL (guest service team leader, I think) lady was fucking amazed that I did it so quickly and said it took her longer. Another GSTL, who was a HUGE cunt, nearly bit my head off when I rang up some guy's non-alcoholic beer, telling me I wasn't even supposed to touch it (even though I was supposed to set aside real alcohol). Apparently it has trace amounts of alcohol in it, but I didn't know that since it said NON-FUCKING-ALCOHOLIC.

I was never really trained on the cashier thing. I was just paired with some bitch who I watched for all of five seconds and then I had to go at it. Since then, I've seen several new employees getting trained, standing on an empty lane, reading a book that tells how to do it. I didn't even know it existed so I thought I was just super shitty at my job or something.

Anyway, I dunno. I might work at a different Target this year, since I need the money and the pay was good, and every single girl employee at the new store is absolutely fucking smoking hot (last year it was mostly fuggles).

[Antropov]

I was given the "stand and watch someone" treatment when I first started, but when they installed the new POS system we all had to go through the same training whether you were a full time cashier or a floor whore.

I noticed this week that Target has modified their little credit card eater so that it spits your card out right away rather than when the transaction is done. I bet this is going to drastically decrease the number of forgotten cards.

[Sleazer]

They did that in Wisconsin years ago...shows how far behind Michigan is !

Put down the rabbit bludgeoning tools and go fix your card readers, jeez.

[Antropov]

They did that in Wisconsin years ago...shows how far behind Michigan is !

Put down the rabbit bludgeoning tools and go fix your card readers, jeez.

Watch it. If there's two things Michigan holds dear its complaining about our sports teams and our rabbit beatin'.

[Diabolical]

I noticed this week that Target has modified their little credit card eater so that it spits your card out right away rather than when the transaction is done. I bet this is going to drastically decrease the number of forgotten cards.

They did that in Wisconsin years ago...shows how far behind Michigan is !

Actually the machines in our Targets have been doing that for quite a while now - and they beep like a muthafuka until you grab your card. Cappytrov just doesn't pay attention.