Fucksticks who can't speak for themselves

[Seven]

THis shit really pisses me off...

I was hanging out with my friend today at her work, she administers assessment tests to college students at a popular So. Cal college. Anyhoo, everyone and their dog has been coming in to take assessment tests to 'assess' their fucking stupidity and this chick walks up, while we are eating, with her boyfriend and says "um, yeah, like he wants to take the assessment test and he wants to know when he can do them, like does he just walk-in because that's what they said on the phone and so he came in yesterday...blah blah blah...the entire time fuckstick is standing RIGHT THERE in front of our faces not saying a word. This douchebag of a girl won't shut her face and poor guy can't get a word in edgewise. But he finally starts talking a little, so we establish that fuckstick can actually speak english words in a coherent manner yet he lets this douchebag bitch talk for him. Ohhh man it was pissing me off, so I just glared at her the whole time.

Then, we're in the assessment room and these two young bitches come in looking like teenage sluts and the first bitch says "Yeah, my friend needs to take the assessment test...blah blah blah incoherent crap...and the whole fucking time 'the friend' is standing right there talking to her friend as the other friend relays what Bumcake (my friend) says...like she can't fucking hear, yet she speaks and lets her friend do ALL of the talking for her.

I want to know what the fuck is up with that! I HATE IT and one I HATE the douchebags who do all of the talking, I want to cram my fist in there fat ass pie holes and two I HATE the pissant pussies who let people talk for them.

This world is full of a bunch of idiots and I'm tired of having to look at them every day!

ahhhhh, that felt good to get out

[BumCake]

This is not BumCake typing this message. I am actually her assistant. And BumCake would like to say that she agrees with you and that she too thinks that only cuntpencils have servants to do even the most mundane tasks for them; such as typing. Now, would you be against having servants and having people speak for other people if the slave were dressed in Princess Leia's gold swirl bikini?

[Seven]

Cuntpencil, you made it...let's have sex you slutty bitch

Did you check out Vynsane's Sloth page? Best thing on the internet, 'cept my Sloth video on myspace!

[Negative Boy]

Cuntpencil, you made it...let's have sex you slutty bitch!

Dear god, I just came in my pants.

[mabudon]

I think this is a first, so mark your calendars- for the FIRST time ever on vynsane it smells kinda gay in here but I'm likin it- VERY odd

[vynsane]

oh, man, is this topic rife with contenders for QOTD material. hell, let's just call it - it's close enough to the end of the year - we've got topic of the year right here...

[anarky]

I was gonna say this whole thread is Quote of the Year!

This kinda reminds me of the SAT. Mrs A is in charge of administering it at her school, and I get to be one of the test-givers. Easiest $98 you can make in three or four hours. But it's amazing how many people walk up to one of the rooms and engage in this conversation:

Doofus: Uh....
Me: Are you here for the SATs?
Doofus: Yeah. Is this where I go?
Me: Are you taking the reasoning or the subject tests?
Doofus: Uh, I don't know. My parents signed me up.

If your parents have to sign you up for the SAT, and you don't know what you're doing, NEWS FLASH! You ain't getting into college anyway. Now go flip my Big Mac; I'm hungry!

[BumCake]

Jesus Christ, could last night have been a more prime example of this Deoxy?

Deoxyribonucleic & myself were out at our favorite cafe, when we ran into this guy as we were walking into the cafe. His name was Joe and he was really nice. He was in a wheelchair and he didn't give a fuck.

He even said that. He said, "I don't give a fuck. Y'know. Like, I'm in a wheelchair and I was born this way and if somebody doesn't like me, then fuck them. I don't give a fuck."

This guy was fucking awesome.

So then later, we get our table and we sit down. Then Joe rolls up and starts talking to us again. We were just sitting there, talking about shit, talking about life.

But it turned out, in the booth next to me and Deoxy, there were a bunch of blonde chicks.

And Joe said, "The real reason I came over here is because one of my friends who I'm here with wanted me to come over and tell that blonde girl in the other booth that he thinks she's cute."

I think at first Joe was hesitant to go over to the blonde girl booth, so he first came over to us cause we had already spoken to him.

Eventually, Joe was like, "Man, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna go over there and tell that chick that my friend thinks she's cute."

And he did.

But still, it was like, Joe's friend had him roll over to tell some chick that he thought she was cute? What the fuck.

Not only is it ridiculously lazy to have someone go talk to girls for you, but it also pretty much demolishes Joe's friend's chances of coitus with blondie.

Like dude, grow some fucking balls. Go talk to the girl. Go communicate with the female. Make eye contact. Anything.

Is it really that difficult? Talking to girls is so fucking easy. I don't even know why guys are so afraid of it.

Girls are fucking dumb. Of course there are some exceptions, for the most part, a bitch at a bar or wherever is not completely out of reach.

If I were a hardcore lesbian (which I'm pretty sure one day I'm gonna be), I would/will have NO problems talking to chicks.

And it's not because I am a chick. I would be good at talking to chicks because I hate human beings. And because I hate them so much, I don't have them on a pedestal. So when I'm talking to one, I'm inadvertently acting like an asshole. And if there's one thing chicks like, it's assholes.

But the last things chicks like is desperation and ball-lessness.

Eh, but what the fuck do I know. I haven't gotten a piece of ass in 2 years. Fuck.

Whatever.

I'll just go watch Sin City and sit on a condom stuffed with frozen peas.

[mabudon]

Hey bumcake, if you're ever in Niagara Falls area, look us up and we can give you one of each to play with

Sorry I've been kinda MAD sexual lately, but we seriously are looking for a third for fun

[anarky]

His name was Joe, and he was in a wheelchair? Did he sound a lot like Patrick Warburton, and were his friends named Peter, Glen, and Cleveland?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Talking to girls is too easy sometimes. That's why I had a lot of friends in high school who considered me too good a friend to get naked with. Instead they told me all their guy problems.

[Diabolical]

Slicker asked me to tell you kids to "chill out."
Senor JabbaJohnL added, "Yeah, what's the big deal?"

[anarky]

The Cow told me to tell you, "Moo."

[jjreason]

I'm sitting on the fence as to who's worse - the puppet or the puppeteer. Wishy washy is one thing, but to presume you know what someone else wants to say is the bigger douche move in my opinion.

[Seven]

Hey bumcake, if you're ever in Niagara Falls area, look us up and we can give you one of each to play with

Sorry I've been kinda MAD sexual lately, but we seriously are looking for a third for fun

Bumcake is MINE! And she lies when she says she hasn't had sex in over 2 years. We just had a two and half hour session the other morning. I remember because when we were done it looked like I'd eaten a box of glazed donuts!!

But the donuts aren't as good

Mr. Reason, I'm going to have to agree with you on the deuchiest being the deuch that speaks for some other deuche! Reminds of something...

"who's the more deuchiest? The deuche, or the deuche who follows him?"

[anarky]

Jesus Christ. It's absolutely nothing personal, but I may have to ask Grimlock to ban you. I'm not sure my heart can take many more posts like that.