WAR!!

[Double_Gs Mom]

Awwww, hayle no! You did not just disrespect yo' Mammy! You best shush that mouth of yours if you don't want me to slap yo' ass into next week.

[Newsbot]

Code: Select all

Double_G gets beat down by his mother.  Film at 11.

[Double_G]

Awwww, hayle no! You did not just disrespect yo' Mammy! You best shush that mouth of yours if you don't want me to slap yo' ass into next week.

You're not my real mom. You just married my dad because he promised to take your ass out of Compton. Well, let me tell you something, whore. You ain't shit. I'll send your Tyler Perry-lookalike ass back to Compton myself.

And that goes for you too, Harriet. You canasta-playing skank.

[Double_Gs Mom]

Awwww, shit! I am most certainly yo' Mammy, 'cause I carried yo' punk ass in my belly for five months! You wouldn't even be here today if ol' Doc McGillicutty didn't have shaky hands and could've used that hanger correctly. And I most certainly ain't taking no sass from you today.

This is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.

SLAP!!!

I know you ain't gonna backtalk me no more.

[Double_G]

Awwww, shit! I am most certainly yo' Mammy, 'cause I carried yo' punk ass in my belly for five months!

Five months? Yeah, okay, "mammy".

Stupid old cunt.

[anarky]

Well, uh, she did make a comment about the doctor not using the hanger right.

[Mrs Funtime]

Sorry I haven't responded sooner about the OJ. The health inspector in the neighborhood advised us there was an unsafe level of air pollution, and we had to remain indoors. I guess you must have uncrossed those legs of yours again.

I'm fresh out of OJ, but I've been planning to drive down to the store in my white Bronco and pick some up. Trouble is, my driving gloves won't fit for some reason.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Cue O.J. Simpson reply in

5...4...3...2...1!

[Double_Gs Mom]

OJ's on trial again, honey. The white man always has to oppress what he don't understand. And what he don't understand in this case is how OJ gets with all his women. I remember once he had Aunt Harriet, Mrs Funtime, Slicker's Mom, and me myself and I all in one afternoon, and still broke a record for yardage in a single game that night!

[Mrs Funtime]

I've picked up some OJ for the mimosas. Someone actually had the nerve to steal it from my shopping cart, and I had to ask a couple of nice young men to accompany me to a local casino to get it back from the hooligan who stole it.

It seems those men have met you before, Harriet. One of them said that when you whored yourself out for five dollars and a Big Mac, your nether lips were so wrinkly that their flapping sounded like a motorcycle with no muffler when he mounted you in that alley behind the Walgreens. The other fellow, well, he just mumbled something angry about crabs.

[Aunt Harriet]

Oh, and now you've gone and caught them. Poor dear.

You have a cold sore, dearie.
You should try a different foundation to cover those up or everyone will think you're a filthy herpes infested whore. Which you are.


Are you going to Vivian's baby shower?

[Mrs Funtime]

That's next Saturday, right, Harriet? I wouldn't miss it for the world. Vivian and Leonard are having twins, and I can't wait to give them the lovely matching booties I've knit for them.

A little birdie told me you wouldn't be attending, though, which made me a bit sad. It was something about starring in a sequel called "3 Girls, 1 Cup."

[Amy]

haha that video is, funny lol

[Mrs Funtime]

Dear me, Harriet, I hope you're doing well. I've not seen you around the bridge club lately. Some of the girls tell me you died of rabies after the dog you were fellating for a video bit you. Is this true? I certainly hope not.

[Aunt Harriet]

Well, to be completely honest with you Marge, I just don't like playing bridge down in the red light district and having to stop every ten minutes while you attend to one of your johns. Mmm. Is that a cherry turnover I smell baking? It smells wonderful!