Dumbass stuff you've not done that'd be funny

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 10:48 am

I had to leave the room after reading that one man....
You MUST let us know if that ever happens...
If I ever run afoul of the law, I hope the officers have half that sense of humour...
Jim, I think you take crack-of-the-week (we shold have more "features", and not the naked kind)

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 11:51 pm

My latest one, and I've been amazed at how well it's working (because it started out as bullshit) is asking the bad guy "Well, what are we going to do about this?" I had a shoplifter agree today to accept a 6 month ban from the store AND write a humiliating letter of apology to the jerk off manager and his fat security fuck. Man, I would have rather gone to court, personally.

Tasia Salad · Post by **Tasia Salad** » Sun Nov 09, 2003 11:30 pm

well, the only thing i wanted to do already got done by vynsane, so fuck him!

Post by **vynsane** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 1:07 am

what? what did i do?

i can't think of any dumbass stuff that i've NOT done...

after seeing the trailer for "elf" i decided to answer the phone at work "tower records, carle place - what's your favorite color?"

that was pretty funny. i also said "... if you were a flower, what flower would you be?" and "... do you like the laughter of children?"

the second one pissed the guy off, though. some people are too sensitive...

Troopersmo · Post by **Troopersmo** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 4:41 am

go into a bank - and when you fill out a deposit slip, grab an extra one while standing there, Jot down on the back of it " this is a stick up " and put it back with the rest of the slips.. Then of course post all the excitment!

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 12:36 pm

Go to a bank and withdraw like 200 dollars. When they ask how you want it, say "In pennies and I want everyone counted"

Tasia Salad · Post by **Tasia Salad** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 2:32 pm

you quit the piece of shit job im prob gonna end up working AGAIN this winter, and then committing ritual suicide in the candle isle...

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 4:44 pm

Siege the manager at your place of work like the angry mob on Malcolm in the Middle last night. I was pissing my pants imagining that happening at my detachment.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 12:37 am

Ok, find someones check book. Take a deposit slip out and fill it out for depositing 200 thousand dollars. Shit in a paper bag. Drive up to the drive thru and hand it to the teller and haul ass.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 5:28 am

Hilarious. 200,000 indeed. "Ummmmmm, we might have to place a hold on the funds, sir." Hehehehehehe....

Troopersmo · Post by **Troopersmo** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:22 am

Walk up to a chick thats in a bar, ask her if she'll be walking to her car alone later, and then let her know you'll be in the corner watching and waiting...

While standing in line at the bank, tap the shoulder of the guy in front of you, and when he turns around, start to put on your black leather gloves, while telling him, now would be a good time to leave...

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 2:44 am

Opening the door for the mailman, handing him a box, getting him to sign, then closing the door. Best if you don't let him get a word in edgewise.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Jan 09, 2004 1:33 pm

Next time someone tries to sell me Pixie Sticks in a parking lot, or someone asks for change, I'm going to look them straight in the face, shudder for a split second, then bellow out, "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!"

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Sat Jan 10, 2004 11:20 am

That mailman bit sounds hilarious. Im Laughing so fuckin hard.

Go into a church on Sunday morning and yell Stewie? Has anyone seen Stewie and run out? Repeat every five minutes.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sat Jan 10, 2004 8:07 pm

Ha! I can hear the preacer on the Simpsons: "People, settle down people."