the vynsane asylum

Simple rules: every day, a new total fucking douchebag from history (any time, any place) is appointed to be Historical Dickweed of the Day.

Our first Historical Dickweed of the Day is none other than

General William Tecumseh Sherman

A half-insane prick by his own admission, the motherfucker marched his army from Tennessee to the Atlantic by way of Atlanta, GA, burning every fucking thing in his path. And why? Because he thought if he did so, it would impress Lincoln enough to give him 20 days leave to go visit his family.

I don't care what side of the war you're on, that's a totally dickish thing to do.

And, when he was done, he went and did the same thing to South Carolina.

And so, General Sherman, we hope Satan is sticking a pineapple up your asshole even as we speak.

DUDE! Sherman fuckin' rules and you know it. Goddamn South deserved it.

He got a tree AND a tank named after him. And maybe even a boy sidekick to a brainy dog on Rocky and Bullwinkle. But that might be coincidence.

Since no one else wants to nominate historical dickweeds, it's up to me.

Today's dickweed is

Oda Nobunaga

One of the unifiers of Japan, but he was a fucknut. There was all sorts of intrigue going on in court, as there was in any feudal nation. One of his rivals sent a ninja assassin to kill him.

So what does this dipshit do? He amasses his armies and smashes all the ninja clans in their hometowns. Pretty much all but a small handful of ninjas were killed, which explains why there aren't too many of them around today.

Now ninjacide is pretty fucking despicable (especially since, like that shithead Sherman, he burned and pillaged and killed the children). But this asshead didn't stop there. Then he started killing off the monks, and the commoners.

Finally, in the end, it was the one class he didn't go after that assassinated him: his own class, the samurai. And fine heroes they were.

Dirty fucking cocksucker. Storm Shadow, would you dig up his corpse and piss on it, please?

Can't recall- Did Nobunaga start or end Sengoku Jidai??

I dunno, the killing Ninjas thing was sucky, but driving the Portugese Jesuits out was a pretty good move

The better one would be whichever Emperor declared all the festivals- so many in fact that the whole of Japan basically shut down, crops didn't get planted, and the whole country was SO fucked up and broke by the time he died that he had to lay in state for decades cos it took that long to get enough bread back together to have an Imperial funeral- THAT is a jackass