The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN list

[The Count]

TEN!!!

TEN ITEMS IN A LIST!!

[Ran]

Top 10 times in history when the use of the word "fuck" was appropriate:

10. "What the fuck was that?"
-- The Mayor of Hiroshima
9. "Where did all these fucking Indians come from?"
-- General Custer
8. "Any fucking idiot could understand that."
-- Albert Einstein
7. "It does SO fucking look like her!"
-- Pablo Picasso
6. "How the fuck did you work that out?"
-- Pythagorus
5. "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?"
-- Michaelangelo
4. "I don't suppose it's gonna fucking rain."
-- Joan of Arc
3. "Scattered fucking showers...my ass!"
-- Noah
2. "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head!"
-- JFK
1. 1. "Aw, c'mon, who the fuck is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton

[Zero]

Top Ten Oceans

• 10. O.C.E.A.N. Psychology acronym for the five personality traits (openess, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism)
  9. Indian Ocean
  
  8. Ocean, the new PDA/cel phone from Helio.
  
  7. Arctic Ocean
  
  6. Oceanmaster. Aquaman's nemesis.
  
  5. Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice.
  
  4. Billy Ocean. 80's singer.
  
  3. Atlantic Ocean
  
  2. Danny Ocean. Ringleader from the Ocean's 11 movie and it's sequels.
  
  1. Pacific Ocean! Dat's a lot o' water!!

[Double_G]

5. Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice.

This should be number one.

[Ran]

No mention of Led Zeppelin's The Ocean? Zero must have went to the same school that Hasbro did for their fan's choice polls.

[anarky]

Top 10 Really Obscure Predictions of Nostradamus

10) "The nudist shall fall first, then the large pirate,
And finally the goatfucker. Two also shall fall
But in love. The others shall hate them.
And Boston Rob will win Survivor: All Stars."

9) "The lookalikes shall invade, as shall the redheaded morons
The man who cleanses vaginas shall aid the bat
And they shall save the metal dinosaur and destroy the bizarre trickster
Then all the boards shall turn purple"

"The green one shall go away in a deus ex machina
The spider shall be yellow, and the man of iron a douche
There will be a year of fighting for no reason, heavily delayed
I'd pre-order Captain America #25 if I were you"

7) "The first shall be great, the second even greater
The third quite good, followed by sixteen years of nothing
Then the mediocre fourth, followed by fifth and sixth worse
And then the stupid comic with the half-naked Twi'lek Sith Lords"

6) "The wench named Spears shall be bald
And shalt lose her children to the wannabe rhymer
The town criers shall go hoarse spreading the word
But not realize their cries fall upon deaf ears"

5) "The God of Thunder shall meet the Starchild
They shall recruit the Celestial and the Cat
Their faces shall be painted as mimes
And yet they shalt rock all kinds of loud"

4) "Do not stand so close to me
For I am the king of pain with every breath I take
The sting of the solo shall be, eh, okay
But the reunion tour shall suck balls"

3) "The red and yellow shall be there, true
But the red shall be blue with flames,
The gun shall be as Sauron,
And the screaming star shall appear as a chicken fucking a monkey"

2) "She shall be promiscuous as the dogs in the fields
Sailors and musicians and even cattle shall know her
The odor of her venery shall cause nausea at ten kilometers
And she shalt bear the man they call Slicker"

1) "The Minions of Dooshe shall fall upon the world
The bat and metal dinosaur shall be powerless
The filthy water weasels shall ravage the land
And only the ursine can save humanity."

[vynsane]

man, he knew a lot of shit about this website...

[Ran]

Don't fall for it. The over-generalizaitons make it seem like it pretains to this site.

[anarky]

You kiddin'? That turkey knew a lot about everything!! He predicted how we'd find Atlantis in 1968. Wait, that was that other supposed prophet who was full of shit.

Top Ten Fictional Characters Who Would Wipe Out the Terrorists in Five Minutes... If They Were Real

10: Eric Cartman (he killed Osama pretty quickly on South Park)
9: He-Man
8: Superman
7: BA Barracus
6: Mr Furious
5: Jack Ryan
4: Jack Bauer
3: Nick Fury
2: Snake Eyes
1: Dorothy Svornak

[Ran]

Top 10 nasty things found in a public restroom:

10. No toilet paper
9. Overflowing waste basket
8. Unflushed urinal
7. Overflowing urinal
6. Unflushed turd in the toilet
5. Unflushed turd in the urinal
4. Mis-matched pubic hairs on the rim of the toilet
3. Turd in the sink
2. Diarhea sprayed all over the stall
1. George Michael

[vynsane]

Top 10 nasty things found in a public restroom:

10. No toilet paper
9. Overflowing waste basket
8. Unflushed urinal
7. Overflowing urinal
6. Unflushed turd in the toilet
5. Unflushed turd in the urinal
4. Mis-matched pubic hairs on the rim of the toilet
3. Turd in the sink
2. Diarhea sprayed all over the stall
1. George Michael

you forgot "mystery toilet" - a layer of toilet paper covering... something. it could be a turd that wouldn't flush, a clog, a severed finger... anything...

[Ran]

You're right. That should go somewhere in the middlem which would bump "No toilet paper" off the list. Sadly, this list was inspired when I saw #4 on a urinal today. "Sticky floor around the toilet" probably should have made the list, too.

[vynsane]

You're right. That should go somewhere in the middlem which would bump "No toilet paper" off the list. Sadly, this list was inspired when I saw #4 on a urinal today. "Sticky floor around the toilet" probably should have made the list, too.

yeah, i'd say it should go between turd in the toilet and turd in the urinal. it could literally be the same as #6, but the mystery is what bumps it up a notch. but neither is nearly as nasty as #5.

[Double_G]

Top Ten Company/Product Mascots Who I'd Love to Beat the Shit out of...

10. The Phillie Phanatic

9. The AFLAC Duck

8. Jared Fogle, the Subway Guy

7. Chuck E. Cheese

6. The Starburst "Berries and Cream" Lad

5. The Burger King

4. Kool-Aid Man

3. The Geico Cavemen

2. Ronald McDonald, circa 1988 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=vNjACYfQlbI, Need I say more?)

1. The Verizon "Can You Hear Me Now?" Guy

[anarky]

I'd drop the AFLAC Duck in favor of Herb. (I can't find a picture or video of the commercials in which he actually appeared.)

And only a Flornbi can hate the King.