How not to get women to sleep with you

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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Ran
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How not to get women to sleep with you

Post by Ran »

Partially inspired by a bit I saw on "Whose line is it anyway" and partially from a conversation I had with some girls I work with about bad pick-up lines.

#1) Walk into the bedroom with your junk in your hand singing "It's slinky! It's slinky! A fun and wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl and a boy."
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anarky
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Post by anarky »

Walk up to a strange woman (the more sophisticated, the better) while wearing a battered cowboy hat. Get as close as you can, look her straight in the face with one eye closed, and say (in your best Sling Blade voice), "Yup. I gots me a hankerin' fer some sex."
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
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Seamus ODoyle
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Post by Seamus ODoyle »

Begorrah! Sure'n I tried yuir idea on a wee bonnie lass down at the' pub and she doused me wit' her Guiness. But then I tried it on 'er sister and I was stuffin' her cinnamin ring for the rest o' the night. Dirty, dirty sluts they is.
"Sure'n'll buy ye a pint."
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Snigtad Flornbi
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Post by Snigtad Flornbi »

Seamus O'Doyle wrote: Begorrah! Sure'n I tried yuir idea on a wee bonnie lass down at the' pub and she doused me wit' her Guiness. But then I tried it on 'er sister and I was stuffin' her cinnamin ring for the rest o' the night. Dirty, dirty sluts they is.
I haet u stupid Franch peaple so suht the fuck up gay wad.

i do not haev problams getting woman liek u fags do.
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NOW THAT IS A GOD DAM GAYE ROBAT!!! LOOK A THAT FUCKIN DICK ON HIS HAND, HE PROBLY SUX IT EVER NITE CUZ HE IS A GAY FAG LIEK U FAGGETS!! MAN, U FAGS LIEK ROBAT DONG HANDS UP UR GAY ASSES DON'T U, HA HA HA HA HA HA I NEW IT!!!
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Seamus ODoyle
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Post by Seamus ODoyle »

Snigtad Flornbi wrote:
Seamus O'Doyle wrote: Begorrah! Sure'n I tried yuir idea on a wee bonnie lass down at the' pub and she doused me wit' her Guiness. But then I tried it on 'er sister and I was stuffin' her cinnamin ring for the rest o' the night. Dirty, dirty sluts they is.
I haet u stupid Franch peaple so suht the fuck up gay wad.

i do not haev problams getting woman liek u fags do.

Begorrah! But yiur a filthy, little sailor ain't ye? With yiur filthy, dirty filth mouth. Oi've 'alf a mind to wash out yiur mouth with bleach. Filthy little bugger. Sure'n ye can go fook yiurself.
"Sure'n'll buy ye a pint."
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c0ldblue
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Post by c0ldblue »

Snigtad Flornbi wrote:
Seamus O'Doyle wrote: Begorrah! Sure'n I tried yuir idea on a wee bonnie lass down at the' pub and she doused me wit' her Guiness. But then I tried it on 'er sister and I was stuffin' her cinnamin ring for the rest o' the night. Dirty, dirty sluts they is.
I haet u stupid Franch peaple so suht the fuck up gay wad.

i do not haev problams getting woman liek u fags do.
Fuck you. K, thx.
Rihanna
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kidhuman
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Post by kidhuman »

Get a huge hard on and put toothpaste on it and then ask her if she wants to brush her teeth with it.
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Seamus ODoyle
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Post by Seamus ODoyle »

kidhuman wrote:Get a huge hard on and put toothpaste on it and then ask her if she wants to brush her teeth with it.

Oi get Mrs. Funtime t' fall fer this one all the time. Until she told me she knew it weren't a toothbrush and just liked me lollipop. Saints preserve us, but shes a dirty wench what likes it the face!
"Sure'n'll buy ye a pint."
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Mrs Funtime
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Post by Mrs Funtime »

Well, you certainly don't have to tell everyone, Seamus. I'm not like Slicker's Mom; I don't like to advertise. Let everyone find out for themselves, you know?
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Seamus ODoyle
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Post by Seamus ODoyle »

Jaesus, Mary an' Joseph...I do apologize fer that, mum. Twere a wee bit under tha influence if yui know what I mean. If'n'give ye a cup o' throat yogurt later on tonight, will ye forgive me?
"Sure'n'll buy ye a pint."
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Antropov
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Post by Antropov »

Put the sombrero from the cap of El Toro tequila on the tip of your dick and ask her if she "wants to eat the worm".
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Ran
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Post by Ran »

kidhuman wrote:Get a huge hard on and put toothpaste on it and then ask her if she wants to brush her teeth with it.
Verified. I tried this last night, and it didn't work.
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Seamus ODoyle
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Post by Seamus ODoyle »

Rogue II wrote:
kidhuman wrote:Get a huge hard on and put toothpaste on it and then ask her if she wants to brush her teeth with it.
Verified. I tried this last night, and it didn't work.

Sure'n ye need to be using the Crest wit' the sparkles innit. It confuses the dirty jezebel what takes yuir johnson in her filthy whorish mouth in the first place. Dirty sluts!
"Sure'n'll buy ye a pint."
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SweetRain
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Post by SweetRain »

kidhuman wrote:Get a huge hard on and put toothpaste on it and then ask her if she wants to brush her teeth with it.
Are you absolutely sure this wouldn't work?
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kidhuman
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Post by kidhuman »

SweetRain wrote:
kidhuman wrote:Get a huge hard on and put toothpaste on it and then ask her if she wants to brush her teeth with it.
Are you absolutely sure this wouldn't work?

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