the vynsane asylum

i realize it's a bit early in the day to nominate a QotD, but i doubt any of you will be topping this one

The Grin wrote:

Your parents shop at FYE? Suddenly I feel betrayed knowing that The Grip, Bizzaros and I aren't the only ones fucking your parents.

One for yesterday:

Katy Perry was a live-action guest on a very cool Muppet-style segment of The Simpsons last night.

Moe, after unsuccessfully trying to jump and hug Katy Perry: "I'll just kiss your belly button."
Moe plants his face on her stomach, below where her belly button would be.
Katy Perry: "Oh, that's not my belly button!"
Moe looks back.
Katy Perry: "But I didn't say stop!"

That's right - an oral sex joke on The Simpsons!
Who says the show can't be funny anymore?

Shitty youtube version:

The joke is at 4:16.

The highest rated comment on the YouTube promo video for Christopher Lee's metal album:

I would sacrifice my life if it would somehow prolong Christopher Lee's.

Our very own mabudon from earlier:

so from the news today I learned, if you make sexually explicit videos, you get relieved

I've been enjoying this guy's humor all day, but this little gem takes the cake:

noob go home we don't want know no noobs here. u r making us lok bda.

The website wwtdd.com had this bit in their posting about Liz Taylor's death, which made me laugh.

Let’s not kid each other, most old movies suck. It’s not like Hollywood even had to try back then. They were competing with books and zoos, and a dark theater with air conditioning was gonna get you a blowjob a lot faster than reading or a goat.

From my wife's cousin's facebook comments:

no but you are related to Kathy who married the man who ate 4 cups of watermelon rine because he heard it acts like Viagra

Facebook comment on a news story about the latest earthquake in Japan:

God is really shaking things up kind of reminds me we are all in a snow glob and God is holding it Bol and when God see something he dose not like he shakes it

No idea what the hell the "Bol" stuck in at random is. Maybe this lady has typing tourette's.

anarky wrote:No idea what the hell the "Bol" stuck in at random is. Maybe this lady has typing tourette's.

i'm thinking that was supposed to be 'globe' (as in 'snow globe') again.

From the latest installment of CBR's "Comic Book Legends Revealed," I give you an awesome sentence from a letter some prick editor wrote to Jerry Siegel about "ugly" Lois Lane (I've boldfaced the single best sentence of this mess):

Murray and I have gone over the magazine stuff, and we find that a great deal hasn’t been done to make Lois look better. The roly-poly hair-do is still the same way we complained about, and why is it necessary to shade Lois’ breasts and the underside of her hair with vertical pen-lines we can’t understand. She looks pregnant. Murray suggests that you arrange for her to have an abortion or the baby and get it over with so that her figure can return to something a little more like the tasty dish she is supposed to be. She is much too stocky and much, MUCH too unpleasantly sexy.

Yes, in the 21st century, Spidey can't get a divorce, but editors in the 1940s insisted Lois get an abortion. And WTF is "unpleasantly sexy"? Is he talking about Joan Osborne?

Anonymous commenter on the (Minneapolis?) Star-Tribune's website, about Neil Gaiman:

If anyone remembers anything you wrote in twenty years, dude, it will be a miracle.

Perhaps he should read more?

If you don't get the irony of this, look up two of his most famous works, The Sandman comic series and Good Omens (with Terry Pratchett). And be sure to check the publication dates.

We got an email at work today explaining that there were bees around the front entrance of the building and recommending that everyone uses the side exits. This led to a discussion between me and Mike, a guy I work with. We both realized it was silly and the conversation was done tongue in cheek. It went something like this:

Me: See the email about the bees?
Mike: Yes. Was it really necessary to mail that out?
Me: Well, maybe someone is allergic, and in that case, it would be a good idea for them to use the side doors.
Mike: If they really wanted to live life, they'd still use the front door.
Me: True.

He response is my nomination for QOTD:

Mike wrote:You won't get anywhere taking the side doors in life.

To which I would have come up with "However, the odd back-door job never hurt anyone... well maybe just a little."

Then I would have high-fived myself right fucking there in the office!

Tucker Stone reviewing a reprint of the first 3 issues of Uncanny X-Force over at Comixology:

But then I just got into re-reading the story and I blacked out for a while. When I looked up those few minutes later, I was hardpressed to remember my own name, and I'm still not 100% sure these are my pants. It was awesome.

I did a guffaw when I read this.