How I realized I was over Star Wars completely

[Ran]

If there is a Han Solo movie, would that mean Greedo and Dengar would show up?

[vynsane]

isn't the rumor that the title is "A New Dawn"?

[Jargo]

OMG! I was talking to a guy whose sister is a whore for the guy who does the tax returns for the guy who drives a golf cart round the Disney lot. And golf cart guy says these are the titles of the upcoming movies for real!

Star Wars Episode VII: The Incredible Kerching
Star Wars Episode VIII: Overkill on Seejee-I
Star Wars Episode IX: Saturation Point

Star Wars: The Coming of the Dull
Star Wars: Clutch of the Straws

I am so excited I just jizzed in my pants.

[Tom Foolery]

Is Kerching a variation of Ka-Ching? (as in "This movie is gonna make ALL the money $Ka-Ching$ !")

Or is it the conjugation of the verb Kerch? (yesterday I kerched. Righ now I am Kerching.)

[Jargo]

I believe 'kerching' is the Oxford dictionary spelling of 'ka-ching'. "Imitation of the sound made by a cash register".

Kerch is apparently a place in the Ukraine. I did not know that. Now I do.

[Slicker]

Kerch is apparently a place in the Ukraine. I did not know that. Now I do.

Reading about WWII voraciously this is seriously the first thing that I thought of. It's the Kerch Pennisula and the Germans were trapped there for a bit.

Lucas uses a lot of places/words for the films. Karelian pennisula is my favorite.

[anarky]

No Frassk, no me in the theater.

[anarky]

I read the first collection of the new Brian Wood comic series last night. I'm underwhelmed. It's not bad, but it's nothing special, either. I felt like I was reading another random collection of Rogue Squadron, except maybe not that good.

The continuity was really rough. No one's officially said this was an EU reboot, but it can't not be. Han is off spending his reward money while on Rebel missions, and he doesn't give a flying fuck about Jabba because Jabba's a small-time gangster with more death marks than Han. Obviously, this can't jive at all with all the previously-established stories about how he immediately left for Tatooine and was robbed by pirates, then spent the next year or so trying all sorts of schemes to get the money to pay Jabba back. Also, Leia is a fucking hotshot pilot, and Luke is kind of a dipshit.

The plot completely revolves around a black-ops operation by Leia, Wedge (who outranks Luke), and Luke, along with a handful of generic pilots who've never been seen before or since. They're trying to root out a spy among the pilots. Yawn. We've never seen this before.

Probably the biggest gripe I had was how Han seems almost to be Chewie's conscience, which is so totally off the fucking base that it's unforgivable.

I'm not saying the EU does or doesn't need a reboot, and this definitely isn't worse than most of what came before. It's just odd that Lucasfilm goes to insane lengths to maintain an official continuity, and says everything counts unless they say otherwise or if Lucas makes a mediocre movie or TV show that contradicts it, but then don't actually say which branch is correct. And Dark Horse is listing them as if they're both correct.

Not that I care too much; I can read stories in multiple timelines and have no problem with it. (And I stopped paying attention to the official timeline the second they said Clone Wars Version 2.0 trumps everything else.) I just like to know which stories are in which timelines, and it seems strange that a company that actually employees someone whose official position is to police continuity is being so mum.

[Diabolical]

I'm still reading it, but I'm a bit underwhelmed also. I've been thinking of dropping it since there still isn't anything new or exciting.

[anarky]

The latest on the Rebels TV show (which I'm sure JJL is jizzing himself about right now ) is that the series will have a new (main? unclear) villain called "the Inquisitor." He looks like the bastard son of Darth Plagueis and Asajj Ventress, sporting Vader's duds. Or, to get more obscure, he looks like a pale bald Star Wars guy wearing Snake Eyes' suit... in other words, the SW version of one of the Pain Brothers that Snake Eyes stole his third costume from--oh, and weren't all three of those guys named after real-life Inquisitors? (Yeah, I can't imagine that's anything but coincidence, but, still, had to point it out.)

According to Dave Filoni via StarWars.com, he has been "tasked by Darth Vader to hunt down the remaining Jedi Knights."

It seems pretty likely that this Inquisitor guy is tossed into the mix to give the series a recurring, somewhat badass, villain that the heroes can constantly escape, beat, or thwart. You can practically hear him saying, "Curse you, Star Wars Rebels!" at the end of every episode. Because, really, it would sort of cheapen the character of Darth Vader to have some random new guys constantly beating him, right? We have to keep Vader as this sort of super-badass motherfucker who has flunkies do his work for him.

Only, um, haven't we been told for over thirty fucking years that Vader was the primary agent for Jedi asskicking. Isn't being told that Vader essentially did this from behind his desk in his cushy office, while some guy who couldn't even survive to Episode IV did the work? So doesn't this still cheapen Vader a bit, just not in the sense they were trying to avoid?

Not to mention, shit, there's a motherfucking ton of these Force-sensitive "Emperor's Hands" and "Agents of Vader" running around now, aren't there? Seriously, if you put them together and weighed them, a metric tonne, easily. How is it possible that the Empire killed most of the Jedi Order in one fell swoop, essentially replaced them with an evil counterpart, and then all those guys just sorta got beat up or whatever in the next eighteen years?

Also, slight change of topic, but the way the show was teased as the adventures of the ragtag crew of the starship Ghost really smells to me for some reason of an attempt to do a Firefly: The Animated Series in the Star Wars universe.

[Ran]

So the show called "Rebels" is about someone not named Darth Vader hunting down Jedi? Didn't most of them die by this point? I never played the game, but wasn't that what Force Unleashed was about? The only thing I can think of is that the Rebels form some sort of Underground Railroad to help whatever Jedi are left.

Whatever. It doesn't matter to me because I'll probably never watch the show anyway.

[Ran]

Two days in a row now where one of the top stories on Yahoo someone finding "lost footage" of the OT. Yesterday was just some random footage from ROTJ someone found on a laser disc. Today was a blooper reel from ANH.

Does someone need to explain what a laser disc is to JJL? We never had one, but one of my friends did. The video store I worked at didn't even have them.

[anarky]

I remember a place in Pennsylvania rented them when I lived there. Or supposedly did. They had them on the shelf, but I never saw anyone rent one.

I actually got two players. For free. Mrs. Anarky's school was getting rid of them, since they were way the hell outdated. I got two because I hoped at least one would work, and figured I could track down the laserdiscs of the unedited Star Wars trilogy. Then about a month later, they announced the second releases, with the unedited movies as "bonuses," so I never bothered.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

The latest on the Rebels TV show (which I'm sure JJL is jizzing himself about right now ) is that the series will have a new (main? unclear) villain called "the Inquisitor." He looks like the bastard son of Darth Plagueis and Asajj Ventress, sporting Vader's duds. Or, to get more obscure, he looks like a pale bald Star Wars guy wearing Snake Eyes' suit... in other words, the SW version of one of the Pain Brothers that Snake Eyes stole his third costume from--oh, and weren't all three of those guys named after real-life Inquisitors? (Yeah, I can't imagine that's anything but coincidence, but, still, had to point it out.)

According to Dave Filoni via StarWars.com, he has been "tasked by Darth Vader to hunt down the remaining Jedi Knights."

It seems pretty likely that this Inquisitor guy is tossed into the mix to give the series a recurring, somewhat badass, villain that the heroes can constantly escape, beat, or thwart. You can practically hear him saying, "Curse you, Star Wars Rebels!" at the end of every episode. Because, really, it would sort of cheapen the character of Darth Vader to have some random new guys constantly beating him, right? We have to keep Vader as this sort of super-badass motherfucker who has flunkies do his work for him.

Only, um, haven't we been told for over thirty fucking years that Vader was the primary agent for Jedi asskicking. Isn't being told that Vader essentially did this from behind his desk in his cushy office, while some guy who couldn't even survive to Episode IV did the work? So doesn't this still cheapen Vader a bit, just not in the sense they were trying to avoid?

Not to mention, shit, there's a motherfucking ton of these Force-sensitive "Emperor's Hands" and "Agents of Vader" running around now, aren't there? Seriously, if you put them together and weighed them, a metric tonne, easily. How is it possible that the Empire killed most of the Jedi Order in one fell swoop, essentially replaced them with an evil counterpart, and then all those guys just sorta got beat up or whatever in the next eighteen years?

Also, slight change of topic, but the way the show was teased as the adventures of the ragtag crew of the starship Ghost really smells to me for some reason of an attempt to do a Firefly: The Animated Series in the Star Wars universe.

Damn, I haven't logged in here in a while.

Sure, I may have jizzed a few shorts over the Rebels news. But I'm not too sure about the Inquisitor, since I'd like to see what he's about, who he's working for, how he acts, etc. etc. before forming an opinion one way or the other. He's an Utapaun, like Tion Medon, but he does look like several other characters - The Son from TCW, Darth Bane, a whole bunch of other EU Darths. And yeah, it seems like he's there to be the villan if/when Vader can't. Remember that this is the only character we actually know about on the show, and we don't even know his actual name, so it's too early to say how he'll be used, or how Vader will or won't be used. And as I pointed out elsewhere, Obi-Wan says that Vader "helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights," not that he was the only or even main one doing that. (Don't forget that he killed all the Jedi in the Temple with the help of the 501st.)

Imperial Inquisitors actually already exist in the EU, so this show isn't doing anything to change that. As I often say, get used to the fact that the EU will be changed or ignored by upcoming projects, but here it already fits. I wonder if The Force Unleashed or Starkiller will come into play, but I doubt it, despite them saying it was too early to say at the panel (as opposed to denying it outright). As to your Star Wars comic talk, I'm not sure how much of that is supposed to be a reboot or whatever, but from here on out the movies, The Clone Wars, and Rebels will be one canon continuity, with the story group (which includes Pablo Hidalgo and Leland Chee) ensuring things fit much more than before. The EU is its own separate thing in LFL's eyes, and it's unknown what elements will be taken from it for any of the new stories, or whether it will continue on as its own timeline (though I find either scenario frankly pretty unlikely).

Anyway, if TCW is any indication, they'll have numerous "main" villains on the show. ROTS established Grievous as a coward, and that's pretty consistent with how TCW portrayed him (ignoring CW's "LOOK AT ME I'M THE MOST BADASSEST BADASS EVAR" Grievous). Ventress was beat up repeatedly before they fleshed her character out more around Season Four. Dooku showed up now and then, but typically didn't do most of the dirty work other than some dueling. Maul and Savage each had a few arcs of their own and caused a pretty big ruckus in Season Five but weren't around all that much overall. And Sidious didn't even appear in the flesh (aside from as Palpatine) until his major asskicking of Maul and Savage near the series' end. So I'm assuming there will be a variety of villains, not just the Inquisitor with a new dastardly plan week after week. I'm sure the Rebels will have plenty to deal with between him, troopers, TIE pilots, ambitious Imperial agents, bounty hunters, pirates, and other wild cards.

And Firefly is so obviously a show about a Millennium Falcon-type ship and its Han Solo-esque captain, so it's not like there hasn't been borrowing going on before. The Clone Wars was originally going to be about a ragtag starship crew before Lucas wanted it to be about the main characters.

So the show called "Rebels" is about someone not named Darth Vader hunting down Jedi? Didn't most of them die by this point? I never played the game, but wasn't that what Force Unleashed was about? The only thing I can think of is that the Rebels form some sort of Underground Railroad to help whatever Jedi are left.

Whatever. It doesn't matter to me because I'll probably never watch the show anyway.

It's not primarily about that. It's about the rise of the Rebellion after the Empire takes over the world of Lothal for its resources and people. It just sounds like one of the Ghost crew members will be a Jedi, possibly. They haven't said very much about it yet.

Two days in a row now where one of the top stories on Yahoo someone finding "lost footage" of the OT. Yesterday was just some random footage from ROTJ someone found on a laser disc. Today was a blooper reel from ANH.

Does someone need to explain what a laser disc is to JJL? We never had one, but one of my friends did. The video store I worked at didn't even have them.

I remember Blockbuster demos, and my sisters had to watch them in school a handful of times, IIRC. I've never watched or owned one myself.

The blooper reel was stolen from the recent Making of Star Wars enhanced e-book. It's a cute collection of some behind-the-scenes moments but nothing too outrageously funny. The ROTJ footage was from an EditDroid demo disc. The guy's finally posted the full amount of footage, but I have yet to sit down and watch it.

[anarky]

The comic's definitely a reboot that they're not acknowledging as a reboot. It's tough to read because, if you read SW comics, you can't help but wonder how the hell it can fit in when it outright contradicts so much that's come before.

Also, it would be absolutely incredible if Rebels could somehow make the Force Unleashed continuity completely jive with the previous continuity, while putting a new spin on things. (Rahm Kota is especially troublesome.)