Pirates of the Carribean

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:41 pm

I seem to be in the minority here (and everywhere else, for that matter), but I thought DMC was a fuckin' load of shit. Sure, Davy Jones was pretty awesome, but other than that, I thought they just kind of took the first one (with every single one of the characters, to boot) and shat all over it. Jack was so cool in the first one, but when he wouldn't stop fucking talking about rum for five goddamn seconds, it got a little old. When I tried rewatching it in school a few months ago, hoping that it would get better the second time, I sadly remembered how much it sucked.

I'm not sure if I'll see the third one yet, since I loved the first one. The only thing I'm interested in seeing is why Barbossa is still alive, but I can just find that online afterwards anyway.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:47 pm

Fuck you.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:58 pm

No thanks.

Case in point: near the beginning of DMC, when the commodore (or whoever the fuck it is) says "Jack Sparrow," and both Will and Elizabeth say "Captain" at the same time, I just rolled my damn eyes. It's full of that kind of shit. Even though they were trying really hard to make a redo of COTBP, they completely failed to capture its essence.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:01 pm

anarky wrote:Fuck you.

See above Quote JJL

Diabolical · Post by **Diabolical** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:22 pm

I have to agree...to a point.

I did like DMC, but it was nowhere close to as good as COTPB. The first was a lot more of a fun adventure movie, where DMC was a darker action movie.

The only thing I hated about DMC was the pointless inclusion of the two gay pirates from the first one (one didn't have an eye - easier for skull fucking I assume). The sucked in the first and were worse in the second. Didn;t they star in The Blues Brothers?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:29 pm

Fuck you, bitch. Even the pussy kid from the second abomination of a Blues Brothers film could kick those pirates' asses.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:13 pm

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I got to dissent with you there, anarky.

Much like the Matrix One-ology, there has only ever been one Blues Brothers movie. Therefore the inclusion of the stupid pirates in the POTC sequel could not suck less than that which does not exist.

Other than that, the "Fuck you" to whomever doesn't think POTC is the fuckin' shit is dead on accurate. Pansy wank fucks.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:25 pm

Oh, and another case for my side: one of the main plot points in the film revolves around a game of Yahtzee that nobody takes the time to explain, and the rules continually change every three seconds. Whoop de fuckin' doo.

Now you know how I feel when you guys bash the prequels.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:34 pm

I maintain that, horrible though the movie is, the soundtrack to BB2K is quite good.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:36 pm

That "Yatzhee" game was a form of "Bullshit" which I've been playing sine I was eight years old.

The dad sacrificed himself by making an outrageous claim and taking the BS for himself rather than Will Turner. That's why Davy Jones got so fucking pissed. Everyone knew Bootstrap Bill was lying, but Davy had to call HIM on it and not Will.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:42 pm

Well, whatever. I still don't like the movie.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:54 pm

Well, maybe the next time you watch that scene, you'll know what's going on in it and not use it as an excuse to say the movie sucked.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:25 pm

Well, I have to agree with Anarky and EP with a hearty Fuck You to anone who dont like POTC.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:23 am

Senor JabbaJohnL wrote:Now you know how I feel when you guys bash the prequels.

Difference being that the POTC films actually have a strong story and good acting, surprisingly enough, and aren't eye candy with plot holes you could comfortably pilot a 747 through.

Don't get me wrong, the prequels aren't "bad" in the same way thay, say, the Dolph Lundgren Punisher is bad. But compare them to SW or ESB, and you'll notice there's a whole nother level of storytelling going on there.

Imagine if C-3PO barely appeared in ESB or ROTJ.

What about if Han Solo completely vanished and was replaced by Captain Typho?

Maybe the entire discussion about the Force in ANH could be abandoned in ESB, and discredited in ROTJ?

Then the prequels would be on par with the originals.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:25 pm

The Yahtzee game wasn't the only reason I hated the movie, I just hated that there was a long-ass scene devoted to it. At that point, I was too strung-out on rum jokes and poorly done slapstick (oh look! now there's fruit on both sides of the pole!) to really care anyway.

In COTBP, Jack was funny since he just was, and nothing seemed forced. In DMC, I just felt like he was at a comedy club or something. Kind of like what happened to Han by the time ROTJ rolled around, but much, much worse.

Oh, and I also hated how they had to repeat every goddamn thing from the first one. "People liked when the prisoners were whistling at the dog? Well, hot damn, they're gonna love when they whistle at Elizabeth!" And I already mentioned, but they really didn't have to take every single background character from the first one and give them each a shitload of screentime. For some of them it was fine, but Pintel, Ragetti, the monkey, and the dog were a little overboard (and I know I'm forgetting several).

Dunno. Say "fuck you" as many times as you want but I don't like it.