the vynsane asylum

I'm not a massive fan of superheroes but even I have seen all the movies. Even Daredevil and Catwoman. Thor was disappointing. His gay brother with the sugar cube thing didn't impress me. The ice giants were more like ice pussies.

Apparently Thors gay brother is the enemy in this one too? And Thor is teaming up with captain spandex and ionman and Hulk. How did Thor get here after he broke the rainbow bridge?

I bet Thors gay brother tries it on with Hulk.

Holy shit, "[Thor's] gay brother with the sugar cube" may be the funniest comment on a comic character I've ever read!

I think they're somehow tying together Loki (since he was the villain in Avengers #1, which is actually quite the shitty comic in retrospect, even by Silver Age standards) with the Skrulls, who are a more credible threat. The Infinity Gauntlet prop was shown at Comic-Con a year or so ago; I'm guessing they're combining Loki, the Cosmic Cube, and the Infinity Gauntlet, because there are simply too many MacGuffins in the Marvel Universe with infinite power, and, of course, a fucking god needs those sort of trinkets.

I'm currently compiling a list of movies that have a shot of a street with cars flipping into the air as something explodes. I might extend it to include manhole covers (no idea what those are called in Amerkuh. Manhole covers sounds better coz it sounds dutty) flying up into the air and landing on car hoods. It's like every trailer for an action movie has those shots in it.

Actually that's a lie. I'm compiling no such list. It just seemed like a good opening line for this post.

The list would fill up the entire hard drive of most computers.

Just so you all know, This "Avengers" movie really happened.

Tom Selleck was an excellent Tony Stark.

In the sequel, Dennis Leary played Hawkeye, Simon Mcorkindale played Quicksilver, and Michelle Pfeiffer played Scarlet Witch. Dolph Lundgren replaced Salenger as Captain America, and there was a huge controversy when they had Sidney Poitier dub his voice. Clint Eastwood directed it.

It was a huge bomb.

Dennis Leary as Hawkeye is arnaky's favorite movie character of all time. He won't shut up about it.

I've noticed a rumor from a few sources that, if true, would make me really, really fucking happy.

I know it's twisted. But it's fiction. So it can make me happy.

The only thing that would make you happy is if Hawkeye died in the film. Or got buttfucked by the Hulk.



Wait, does Hawkeye die in the film?

There are a lot of things that would make me happy. Hawkeye getting pissed on by a gorilla, Hawkeye getting laughed at in a checkout lane because he's fucking stupid and forgot his pants, Hawkeye walking in on his mom and The Grin....

I have noticed a lot of disparate people asking if it's true. No confirmation. Even if true, I'd prefer not to know it.

I read a verrrry early spoiler/rumor that Maria Hill is a Skrull/Traitor so if that happens I won't be shocked. Anything else is fair game for shockiness.

Also read there is not one, but TWO end credit teaser sequences setting up future Marvel movies. Huzzah!

I ended up going to the all-day Avengers marathon, but I had to leave for a bit so I missed the end of Iron Man, all of Incredible Hulk, and the first half of Iron Man 2. I'd already seen the Iron Man ones, but hadn't seen the Hulk, Thor, or Captain America. I thought Thor and Captain America were both very solid, very entertaining, very fun movies, and I was glad to have seen them since they both set up a lot of stuff in The Avengers.

But holy fucking shit.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

The Avengers made my fucking balls explode, then surgically reattached them to my body only to have them explode a thousand more times. The final battle sequence is one of the coolest I have ever seen in any film, period. I don't want to spoil anything, but the amazing moments are spread out pretty evenly between characters (in terms of both action and characterization) . . . except for the Hulk, who doesn't show up too much but absolutely fucking dominates the movie when he does.

Okay, there might be spoilers from here on out, but I'll keep them contained to the purpley shit.

anarky wrote:Holy shit, "[Thor's] gay brother with the sugar cube" may be the funniest comment on a comic character I've ever read!

I think they're somehow tying together Loki (since he was the villain in Avengers #1, which is actually quite the shitty comic in retrospect, even by Silver Age standards) with the Skrulls, who are a more credible threat. The Infinity Gauntlet prop was shown at Comic-Con a year or so ago; I'm guessing they're combining Loki, the Cosmic Cube, and the Infinity Gauntlet, because there are simply too many MacGuffins in the Marvel Universe with infinite power, and, of course, a fucking god needs those sort of trinkets.

They're not Skrulls. I can't quite remember what they are, but Skrulls they are not. So Whedon wasn't lying after all. Also, I'm not sure what the Infinity Gauntlet is, but the Tesseract/Cosmic Cube is the McGuffin here, carried over from the Thor and Captain America films.

anarky wrote:I've noticed a rumor from a few sources that, if true, would make me really, really fucking happy.

I know it's twisted. But it's fiction. So it can make me happy.

What is it? I don't need to answer if you'd rather not know, I just want to know what you heard.

RoIIo Tomassi wrote:Wait, does Hawkeye die in the film?

Nope.

RoIIo Tomassi wrote:I read a verrrry early spoiler/rumor that Maria Hill is a Skrull/Traitor so if that happens I won't be shocked. Anything else is fair game for shockiness.

Also read there is not one, but TWO end credit teaser sequences setting up future Marvel movies. Huzzah!

On the first point - If she is, there's no indication of it in this movie.

On the second, and they're only very mild spoilers - The mid-credit scene sets up a new threat for future films. The other, post-credit scene is very brief and doesn't set up anything new, but it is pretty funny.

Regarding a character's death: I was quite saddened by Agent Coulson's death, as I've really liked him in the other movies. Still, he got a good death scene, and it provided the necessary catalyst for the Avengers to get out there and kick some serious ass.

anyone see this poster at their theater? i've been calling around and no one i've talked to knows anything about it... i want one!!!

i won't be seeing this until next weekend.

A'ight, after reading a non-fanboy's take that's so positive, I want to avoid spoilers and see the movie now.

vyn, I didn't see that poster. The theater did hand out free 18x24 versions of the regular poster, so that was pretty cool, though.

anarky, since I assume you didn't read the post once I started getting into spoilers, what was the rumor that you kept hearing but didn't want to know about?

And I don't want to overhype this movie, so as not to cause anything even approaching disappointment. If I have to say anything negative about it, it's that it does take a while to get going, but that's really just building the pace. It's also pretty heavy on jokes throughout, and some are indeed goofy, but the majority of them are earned and based in the characters (and this gets better as the film goes on). But I really don't believe it's possible to overhype the last third of the film, which just fucking blows every other comic book movie so far out of the water that I can barely believe it.

I've noticed an awful lot of people asking on various sites stuff like "I've heard Hawkeye dies, can anyone verify that?"

Truth is, even I'm not stupid enough to think movie Hawkeye is the same dipshit from the comics. Even comic Hawkeye is good enough to warrant attention, unlike shit like NFL Superpro.