the vynsane asylum

Yeah, that one i keep in reserve as a "masterstroke"... you may think our town is a cesspool from the parts you saw,JJ, but the north end is all rich paranoid folks with PERFECT lawns, lawns which only ever get used when the landscapers come to mow and spray... FUCK I hate them "minty" lawns

dog shit - on de stick.. smear that shit under the door handles of cars.. gets em everytime..

i hate people entry no. 2:

so, i'm working at tower records now, and it's been going fine up til tontight...

this guy comes up with a couple of cd's and some magazines, and the audioslave cd is grossly underpriced at 10 bucks, when it should be 14... well, he starts off with "that's not the price it's marked..." i say "well, it was mis-priced, this is under cost for tower..." and he says "well, i'll get it for $10" and starts going into a rant about how it's "the law" that he has to get it for $10.

i was like, well, we can't sell it for that. so he starts in with "well i'll call the police and see what they have to say about it." at which point my supervisor came over and i said "oh, no... i can't go back to jail!" all pretend worried and shit...

this is when i realize the fuckin' balls this guy has, because under the other cd is a REALLY gay porno mag, and another REALLY REALLY huge gay like, bible or something. i mean, this huge book originally cost like, $40... i really wanted to say something like "someone buying this much gay porn should really be a little more subtle."

i also came up with "well, you know sir, sodomy is against the law as well..."

but i figured i shouldn't give him any LEGITIMATE fodder for when he calls my superiors... oh, well, that would've been funny.

as it stands, when he left, i said to the rest of the line that had formed behind him during this whole debacle the line about the gay porn...

"oh no..i can't go back to jail!" Thats fuckin funny. I've pulled that one a couple times. make some crack about violating parole. People who get up in your face all the sudden freak out if they think you're a convict.

That's 'cus convicts are just one step away from being ninjas - that one step that prevents ninjas from getting caught.

Convicts in stealth mode.......Tenchu 3