what the fuck is wrong with saying "happy holidays"

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

I am atheist, as in, I do not believe in a god, higher power, or afterlife. I do, however, believe in any reason to get presents. My family does not go to church, nor do we give Christmas any religious meaning. It's just a fun time to celebrate with the family.

I'm not a Jehovah's Witness, for Christ's sake.

[The Grin]

I'm not sure if your mother said "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays". It was hard to understand her becasue her mouth was full and I was on my way out the door.

[kidhuman]

Shouldnt her mouth have been full while you were still in there?

[The Grin]

She was having trouble swallowing my load.

[c0ldblue]

Wow, I was gonna quote Vyn's post, but it's too fucking long. It's funny that you brought this up, since I was just saying the same thing to a friend of mine yesterday. The specific context was different; I believe I brought up the example of women's attitude toward men recently (e.g. WOMEN CAN DO SHIT, TOO, ASSHOLE) that's gotten so out of hand that they're becoming lesbians just to illustrate that they don't need your cock's help to achieve the American dream.

Or a black man or woman seeking retribution for slavery in 2007. What the fuck. Yes, it was obviously a horrible period in history, but for starters it's not just American history. Additionally, I didn't do shit to you, so don't treat me like I did. Yes, I've had this happen to me.

The problem remains that the balance isn't clearly defined. Why can't everyone think like I do? I guess that's the real issue.

[Seamus ODoyle]

Saint's preserve us! The day a woman comes up to me and gives me guff is the day she gets the back of my hand and runs back inta the kitchen t'make me a sammich. Filthy strumpets 're god for one thing an' one thing only. And it involves laying on their backs. As fer the colored folk, well, tha's nothing what cannae be fixed over a pint o' Guiness. An' if that ain't enough, a good arse kickin' by the lads. Blimey!

[Snigtad Flornbi]

fuck u Seamens u fuckin Transfarmer!!

[Sleazer]

an email that Jesus himself forwarded to my email Inbox:

Letter from Jesus about Christmas

Dear Children,


It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are
taking My name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I
wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was
some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on
what was actually a time of a pagan festival. Although I do
appreciate being remembered anytime.


How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most
easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children
of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to
celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that, let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town
in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just
get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity
scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers do that, there
wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because
there would be many of them all around town.


Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a
holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all
trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a
grape vine if you wish. I actually spoke of that one in a teaching,
explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks
are. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1- 8 .


If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth, here is
my wish list.
Choose something from it.

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My
birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to
soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this
time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.


2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them
personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the
cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him
that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow
up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford
and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My
birth and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your
arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.



6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their
own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since
you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a
warm smile. It could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls
the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a
warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you
a 'Merry Christmas', that doesn't keep you from wishing them one.
Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much
money on that day, they'd close and let their employees spend the day
at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary--
especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have
never heard My name.


9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in
your town who not only will have no 'Christmas' tree, but neither
will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know
them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation
Army or some other charity that believes in Me and
they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and
loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in
secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your
actions that you are one of mine.


Don't forget: I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me
and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest.
Check out the list above and get to work. Time is short. I'll help
you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed
Christmas with all those whom you love and remember:

I LOVE YOU,
JESUS

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Isn't it REALLY un-Christian to impersonate Christ, even through e-mail?

[Sleazer]

No, that was the real Jesus who sent it.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Oh, okay then.

[anarky]

Only he pronounces it "hay-SOOS."

[vynsane]

don't fuck with jesus.