Open letter to all stores that get rid of self checkout

[anarky]

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

No, really, fuck you.

I hope you die.

Scratch that. I hope you get elephantiasis in your dick so it swells to massive size and closes itself off. Then I hope you get a kidney disorder that makes you constantly have to piss, but this ruptures the end of your mutated dick, so you're constantly dribbling piss everywhere. Oh, and it burns like fuck. Then I hope your significant other leaves you for Carrot Top and starts a porno career with him and constantly sends you the videos but somehow masks what they are so you don't know to avoid them.

I don't have social anxiety. I just don't want to deal with your slow-ass cashiers who want to shoot the shit with everyone in line in front of me. Or who try to start conversations with me about what I'm buying and are too stupid to come up with anything beyond the initial question.

And don't give me the "shoplifting" bullshit. We all know your cameras can read the fucking numbers on my credit card from a mile away. Fuck you with that bullshit.

Did I mention, fuck you?