Celebrity Death Pool!

[The Cow]

MOOOOOOOOO!!

[Ran]

Wow. The Cow is back. I was sure it was either busy being sued by Devin Nunes or turned into Taco Bell "meat".

[Tom Foolery]

MOOOOOOOOO!!

It’s been ten years and you just show up like nothing happened?

Color me suspicious.

[Tom Foolery]

Coolio. Age 59.

[anarky]

Not entirely sure why, as I liked his work but wouldn't consider myself a huge fan, but this one really hurts.

Oddly, I was listening to his archnemesis Weird Al when I heard the news. Not "Amish Paradise" though. That would've been really freaky.

[anarky]

Loretta Lynn, reunited with Conway Twitty (in a purely professional sense, she'll assure you).

RIP to possibly the greatest female country singer of all time.

[Tom Foolery]

Angela Lansbury. 96…almost 97. 5 days short.

DoubleG, wherever you are, you earned a point.

[Tom Foolery]

Robbie Coltrane aka Rhun from Krull. 72.

[anarky]

I had no fucking clue he was that old.

RIP, Hagrid.

[anarky]

Leslie Jordan, car crash (caused by an undisclosed medical emergency).

I had no clue who he was, but he looked extremely familiar, so I looked him up on Wikipedia and said aloud, "Why aren't all these articles leading with the fact that he had the only funny line in the terrible 1990 'comedy' Ski Patrol?"

Crazy as it sounds, that fucking line sticks with me over thirty years later, and it wasn't even an original joke!

[anarky]

Dammit, I was hoping it stuck with someone else and had been posted to YouTube. I'm not watching a bunch of Ski Patrol excerpts hoping to maybe find one line.

I may have the lead-up off, but "I believe you're a few sandwiches short of a picnic."

[Ran]

I remember Ski Patrol coming to VHS when I worked at the video store in high school, but I don't remember seeing the movie. We probably had 4 or 5 copies of the VHS in our store. Anyway, I found a trailer on YouTube and I'm sure I never saw it. The entire time I'm watching the trailer, I was just identifying all of the actors by other roles they had, like Mr. Hand and the guy from Karate Kid.

[anarky]

Can I add Matthew Perry?

Dude has clearly lost his fucking mind.

[vynsane]

Can I add Matthew Perry?

Dude has clearly lost his fucking mind.

why? what's going on? i'm not up on this (then why do i care?)

[anarky]

Can I add Matthew Perry?

Dude has clearly lost his fucking mind.

why? what's going on? i'm not up on this (then why do i care?)

Short version: he's saying a lot of bizarre shit that seems calculated to be edgy and is just dickish. First "Why did Heath Ledger and River Phoenix die and Keanu Reeves didn't?" (When people called him out, he claimed to be a Keanu fan but just picked a name at random, which might be worse.) Then like a day later, he bragged about making out with Valerie Bertinelli when they were drunk at a party and her husband was in another room (as if everyone doesn't love EVH, regardless of how difficult he was rumored to be, and also he's dead and the entire earth is still sad).

I expect to see headlines about him saying he stopped to take a piss once and then realized it wasn't a toilet, but Princess Diana's still-warm corpse. I guess being on fucking Friends messes with your head in ways the rest of us can never understand.