Not sure why I came up with this, but I can't stop laughing at it, so maybe I'm a sick, stupid fucker.
A young woman gets married, and her new husband is always raving about his grandmother's chicken. The couple eats at his grandparents' house, and she can't quite put her finger on what is so special about the chicken. She tries a few times to replicate the unique flavor, and fails.
Finally, she asks the grandmother how she does it. She says there's a secret she uses, and it's not known to another living soul. However, as she's getting old, she's willing to pass on the secret. She tells the woman to come over the next evening, so she can watch her make a batch of chicken.
Everything looks pretty standard at first. The grandmother cuts the chicken into pieces, then puts it into a resealable bag. However, when the woman excepts her to add the breading, she instead drops her pants, presses the bag against her butt, and lets out a huge fart, filling the bag with gas. She immediately seals the bag and puts it in the refrigerator. "That's my secret--you let the chicken marinate in the fart for about an hour and capture the flavor!"
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!