http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Short_faced_bear
Look upon him and despair.
This page sizes him at 10 feet standing on two legs, but the show I'm watching has it at 12 feet on all fours. That's more impressive, so I'm going with that. This motherfucker had to be bigger than a pussy modern grizzly bear.
(Not that you're pussies, oh grizzlies of the world. But you know you quiver in the face of a fucking Arctodus. You bring him coffee and thank him for the privilege.
Arctodus: King of all fucking bears!
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anarky
- sometimes not actually existing
- Posts: 17955
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- Location: Fucking shit up, yo!
Arctodus: King of all fucking bears!
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
Re: Arctodus: King of all fucking bears!
MOOOOOOOOO!!
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Ursa Major
- King of Bears
- Posts: 6
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Re: Arctodus: King of all fucking bears!
Actually, Anarky, I am the king of all fucking bears.
But your insight serves you well. The Arctodus were the rulers of all bears in antiquity, fighting the giant prehistoric otters to allow your race to evolve without being stapled to the undersides of unsuspecting mammoths who were unable to scratch the itch caused by unwashed Neanderthals. My ancestor was none other than the mighty Lord Liwanu, the last of the Arctodus, who died after driving into extinction the most vicious species of prehistoric otter, the Fimus Odiforous. Every year, the Iditarod race is held in his honor, though the humans who have dominated the sport for centuries no longer remember its sacred purpose.
But your insight serves you well. The Arctodus were the rulers of all bears in antiquity, fighting the giant prehistoric otters to allow your race to evolve without being stapled to the undersides of unsuspecting mammoths who were unable to scratch the itch caused by unwashed Neanderthals. My ancestor was none other than the mighty Lord Liwanu, the last of the Arctodus, who died after driving into extinction the most vicious species of prehistoric otter, the Fimus Odiforous. Every year, the Iditarod race is held in his honor, though the humans who have dominated the sport for centuries no longer remember its sacred purpose.
Yes. I shit in the woods and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it.
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Rollo Tomassi
- I HAVE THE POWER!!!
- Posts: 3000
- Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:40 pm
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Re: Arctodus: King of all fucking bears!
This place is a fucking zoo. A real fucking zoo.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie
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Ursa Minor
- bacon
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Re: Arctodus: King of all fucking bears!
You better apologize to Ursa Major. He takes this stuff pretty seriously.
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Ringo Starr
- bacon
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Re: Arctodus: King of all fucking bears!
Ursa Major, Ursa Major. That sound familiar. I believe I sent you an autographed football and a pair of soiled undies that some young trollop had left in one of my flats. I'm sure it was over a week ago. Have you received them yet? In any case, I want to remind everyone, to not send me anything else. Ever. It will be thrown away and not rifled through and resold on ebay or anything like that. Please please please, with peace and love, peace and love, piss off the lot of you. Ahh. peace and love.
peace and love. peace and love.