MISSOULA, Mont. - A middle school teacher suffered some bruising and a big scratch on his back after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school.
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Jim Litz said he was traveling about 25 mph Monday morning when he came upon a rise and spotted a black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn't have time to stop and T-boned the bruin.
He tumbled over the handlebars, his helmet hit the bear's back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.
The bear rolled over Litz's head, cracking his helmet, and scratched his back before scampering up a hill above the road.
Litz's wife drove by shortly after the crash and took her husband to the hospital. He hoped to be able to return to teaching science at Target Range Middle School on Friday.
Idiot.
A spokesman for the bear said he suffered a broken paw and will be filing charges.
Actually, the opposite is true. Bike riding is indeed made better by bears, but only if one is paying attention. Have you ever ridden through the beautiful mountains of North Carolina, flanked by bears on unicycles, while you all sing "Bicycle Race" at the top of your lungs?
This bear was, no doubt, planning to accompany this man on a musical journey of personal discovery.
If one is not paying attention, though, bears get in the way. Of course, not paying attention in and of itself makes bike riding not better.
In fact, one could argue that a bear DID make this guy's bike ride better. As he was not paying attention, he could've hit a moving car and died. This bear saved his life.
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
