Code: Select all
RAPID CITY (AP) -- General Zod issued a demand Thursday for $142 million in tribute for August 2007 to fund his bid for the 2008 Presidential race.
Said Zod at a campaign breakfast, "Now is the time to show your allegience. With an election drawing near, I must rise before you and do these things that are necessary, this campaigning, as it were, to take my rightful place in the White House.
"Today dawns a new era of prosperity! All citizens shall joyously offer half their wages this month. You shall use your phone and dial one of the three agencies allowed to collect these funds. You must give them a credit card or bank account number. If tribute is not forthcoming, rest assured these agencies have all powers to appropriate what is yours! They shall enslave you, and one day, your heirs!"
The General's campaign office could not be reached for comment.