Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

[Rollo Tomassi]

Stuff that happens so often in movies it's become acceptable, when in real life theres no way...

1. People climbing around in air vents. They are designed to hold AIR, not your twinkie eating rogue cop ass...

2. People escaping through hatches in the roof of an elevator. Ever look at the ceiling of an elevator? I was in three different elevators today. NONE of them had any discernible means of egressing from the top of the elevator.

3. People having conversations as they walk backwards out into the street...and then getting schmucked by a bus/car/semi etc. Name me one reported case of this ever happening in real life. "Ohmigod officer, we were just talking and then that bus came out of nowhere and hit him!"

4. People getting shot and acting like it's a stubbed toe. No. You piss yourself, then you go into shock. You do not run around and kill thirty more people.




I'll come up with more, but in the meantime Feel free to vent about your least favorite tropes in TV and film.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

5. The sassy black best friend. Have we really progressed that far as a society when the only minority roles are for the snarky commentator? And honestly, how many people like this exist in real life?

[RoIIo Tomassi]

5. The sassy black best friend. Have we really progressed that far as a society when the only minority roles are for the snarky commentator? And honestly, how many people like this exist in real life?

Dude, that was going to be the next one on my list. Interacial BFFs. And token minority friends are on that list as well. Hey look it's four WASPy white guys and the one black dude who happens to hang out with them. Bullshit.

[mabudon]

I am sure I'm not alone in having certain things that annoy me about films. There are a lot of subtle cliches that drive me bonkers (like the standard WWII-movie type "team" with the classic set of ultra-hackneyed characters- see M. Bay for this type of insult) but I'd rather stick to something simple and just go with lazy-ass dialogue that makes you angry, perhaps so much so that the use of them should be outlawed.

My first 2 offenders are thus

"We're not in Kansas anymore". Anytime this threadbare phrase comes up, I always get the feeling (usually from the delivery but the placement can hurt too) that whoever "thought it up" felt like it was some kind of witty, but it always seems so cheap, fake AND sort of presumptuous, in a "well, everyone fucking LOVES the source, so this is like adding the entire movie into this movie with just a single line, it's fucking brilliant!!". For folks like me, it is more of a "oh, I see what you did there, SO FUCKING WHAT?!?!?!".
What is the problem with writing a new line of dialogue when truly strange shit happens??


"Houston, we have a problem". Similar complaints as above, only obviously different source of the material, but again, using this phrase is like reaching into "the box" for some cheap gravitas.

The other reason I HATE these phrases is that, thanks to the number of times they've been used and found witty, it's like a double-laziness, since when the line gets dropped, the writer knows that even IF the source is not so familiar to the viewer, they have probably seen it used in another movie, found it witty there and thus are still smugly pleased that they get it

[Rollo Tomassi]

I hate any reference to Star Wars anymore. Unless it's a super obscure reference that only really die-hard people who've watched the films 100 times would get, and if its played non-chalantly. if they're being obscure , but then pointing a neon sign at how clever they are, then fuck 'em. But any reference to Jedi, Yoda, 'the Force', Obi-Wan, Skywalker etc I just want to scream at the screen how fuckin' lazy they are in the pop culture dept. it's like "Oho! We made a Star Wars joke!" and I'm like "FUCK You."

[anarky]

IUnless it's a super obscure reference that only really die-hard people who've watched the films 100 times would get, and if its played non-chalantly.

Like the TK-421 in Boogie Nights?

[Rollo Tomassi]

Indeed.

[Rollo Tomassi]

When white characters ironically talk "hip" and say shit like 'hizzy' and 'word' and it's supposed to be funny because they're fish out of water! "ha ha! The white guy is a nerdy white guy and he's talking street! funny!" No it isn't.

Obversely, when a black character starts talking in the stuffy white man voice. It's like "Look at me, I'm using proper ununciation and syntax, which makes me, 'The Man', and therefore a square!" Using all the consonants in a word is NOT a deficiency, douche.

[Slicker]

The one that I hate is when someone breaks off a conversation does something sinister then comes back to the conversation with the line "now where were we?" or "What were we talkin' about?"

[Diabolical]

It bugs me when the bad guy's henchmen screw up and the the first thing the bad guys says/yells is something along the lines of:
"WHAT DO YO MEAN, YOU LOST IT/HIM/HER/IT(etc)?"

[anarky]

On the other hand, we could write a movie that's all cliche lines, Star Wars references, villain monologues, etc. That could be funny.

[anarky]

Here's another one: speeches that are interrupted by something, then, when the crisis is averted, continued as if nothing happened. This was funny exactly one time: the first time anyone saw it.

An example: in Jurassic Park, Dr Grant and the kids climb an electric fence. Tim is afraid to let go, and Grant tells him to count to three. "One, two--" and then the power comes on, shocking him. Grant performs CPR, reviving him, and he immediately says, "Three," as if he hadn't just been electrocuted.

[kidhuman]

I hate any reference to Star Wars anymore. Unless it's a super obscure reference that only really die-hard people who've watched the films 100 times would get, and if its played non-chalantly. if they're being obscure , but then pointing a neon sign at how clever they are, then fuck 'em. But any reference to Jedi, Yoda, 'the Force', Obi-Wan, Skywalker etc I just want to scream at the screen how fuckin' lazy they are in the pop culture dept. it's like "Oho! We made a Star Wars joke!" and I'm like "FUCK You."

At work one time, the guy next to me started laughing really hard. After he got off the phone call I asked what was so funny. He told mt the customer said Mynocks were chewing on his satellite cables. I thought that was a pretty damn obscure reference.

[vynsane]

At work one time, the guy next to me started laughing really hard. After he got off the phone call I asked what was so funny. He told mt the customer said Mynocks were chewing on his satellite cables. I thought that was a pretty damn obscure reference.

HAHAHA, that's fucking awesome.

[Rollo Tomassi]

On the other hand, we could write a movie that's all cliche lines, Star Wars references, villain monologues, etc. That could be funny.

If were expanding the rant to include movie cliches in general (an not just lines) I want to see a part in a movie where there's a bunch of C4 rigged with a timer and everybody is freaking out whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire and somebody comoes up and just pops the fucking detonator out of the explosive and says "Done."

Also, the inconsistency of the power of "C4" when it explodes. Hearing some people talk, a piece the size of a dime will level a building. Other times a whole trunkfull of the stuff will only damage the BMW it was being transported in and the people standing ten feet away get knocked on their heinies, but other than some soot on their faces, they're okay.

Which is it? Here's my idea. If you are a screenwriter don't write the C4 scene unless you've personally seen somebody handle the stuff and set it off for you to give you an idea. m'kay? I get the feeling most screenwriters only know C4 because they saw it in another movie.