Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

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anarky
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by anarky »

CSI needs to go back to the "formula." At the end of the show, when they do the big reveal, the viewer should be able to think back over the episode and all the facts that were cleverly laid out, and say, "Oh, yeah, that does make sense!" At some point, about a season in, they decided the shock was more important (because they'd been good about red herrings up until that point), and it just got ridiculous. "All the evidence points to her boyfriend bashing her head in with a hammer because she sold his collection of Zeppelin vinyl albums for magic beans, or maybe it was the guy she was cheating on him with, who wanted her to stop singing opera whenever she came because his own father was killed by Andrea Bocelli. Instead, she went to get the mail and was accidentally run over by the neighbor's dog, who had started the riding mower somehow--a fact we never mentioned until the last two minutes of the show."

I stopped watching when they did this shit twice, making it clear it wasn't a onetime aberration, and have never looked back.

They also should stop pretending realism when the premise is so unrealistic. Either have the CSI guys be boring as shit, sitting in a lab and never getting into gunfights, or just go back to the insanely awesome 1970s cop shows.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by Diabolical »

I hate all those CSI crapfests.
My biggest complaint is that every character has to explain to another character what they're doing, why they're doing it and how it works like they're a fucking moron. YOU FUCKERS WORK TOGETHER IN THE SAME FUCKING FIELD! HE/SHE KNOWS HOW THIS SHIT WORKS!




(Yes, I know they're doing it for the benefit of the audience, but it takes me out of the show immediately. It might work in season 1 with an intern or something, but even an intern would know a lot of it already.)
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

They do the same thing on House. Now, I love watching House but they'll throw out all these symptoms and a lot of random medical terminology. Then in the last five minutes, House goes and has a conversation with his buddy of the Chief lady completely unrelated to the week's mystery case. Then someone will say 'House you're a goober. ' And then he cocks his head as if he's just had a revelation and walks back into the patient and says 'You're allergic to raisins aren't you. Were gonna start you on anti-raisin allergy meds.' Then the shows over. The key element is literally given to the audience 3 minutes before the show ends.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by vynsane »

anarky wrote:Problem with Roswell, as cliche as it is, nerds expect at least a reference to it in any UFO movie now.
good roswell reference? i caught this the other day while my daughter was watching 'lilo and stitch' - at galactic command they say that stitch will come out of hyperspace somewhere in 'area 51' ;)
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by anarky »

Cobra Bubbles also introduces himself to the aliens in the end by saying he was at Roswell and gives a year. I forget what year.

Cobra Bubbles automatically makes any movie in which he appears transcend all cliches. Too bad he was only in the one movie.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

If any movie is gonna get a pass on having cliches in it, its going to be Lilo and Stitch. Because that movie is awesome.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

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Rollo Tomassi wrote:If any movie is gonna get a pass on having cliches in it, its going to be Lilo and Stitch. Because that movie is awesome.
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I came across this Cracked article today that seems to fit here, even if it's not exactly the same. I'd never thought about the DC skyscrapers issue, but, yeah, it's 100% true. It's the kind of thing where it doesn't matter how many times you've been to DC (unless you live there, I guess), you see it wrong so often in movies that it seems right.
6 Myths About Famous Places You Believe (Thanks to Movies)

Another thing that pisses me off (though they've been better about it the last ten years or so) are where something is clearly supposed to be anywhere but California, but there are so many minor details that show it was filmed in California. I'm not talking about the Batman show being painfully obviously filmed in SoCal (even when they're in England and Batgirl has to sneak through scrub brushes and dead grass), though that definitely qualifies. I'm thinking more of small details that they simply don't think of, which often have to do with cultural or legal things that are unique to California. One is the "graffiti" style of paint on business windows; I've never seen that outside the southwest, though it's always used in films. Even more noticeable are red curbs; in California (and a few other SW states, but I don't recall which ones), a red curb means "no parking." This means absolutely nothing in the rest of the country; they're not used. But watch for the red curbs in movies that supposedly take place in New York, Atlanta, or Miami. You'll see them. And you can't unsee them.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

Concerning Sun Tzu, here's how the dialogue should go.

1st Guy(the tough guy/serious role): [Quotes Sun Tzu during scene]
2nd Guy(average Joe): Ah. Sun Tzu. (nods approvingly)
1st Guy: You've read Sun Tzu?
2nd Guy: No. But every douchebag screenwriter in LA loves to quote it to make their douche characters seem all Zen and shit. And I watch a lot of movies, so I've had to endure all of Sun Tzu's obnoxious dickbaggery.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by RoIIo Tomassi »

Can we stop having the "We need to save the orphanage where we grew up from closing" movies?
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by anarky »

Yes.

Jake and Elwood already did the perfect movie based on that premise.

But one of us wouldn't know that. ;)
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by RoIIo Tomassi »

Here's one I've seen show up recently on a bunch of TV shows, like four different series in less than two weeks and just now in a Green Lantern comic I just read.

Somebody gets shot in the general shoulder region. Somebody else comes over and looks at the would and says "the bullet went through clean. It's just a flesh wound. You'll be fine." Then they throw a makeshift sling on. And the actir makes some grimacing faces while moving to let you know the wound 'hurts' but it's not incapacitating.

Here's the problem. Feel around your shoulder(go ahead. Ill wait). Lots of bone up there, isn't there? Clavicle and such? Now feel around on the back side. Big ol' shoulder blade. Now granted, there is an area where a bullet might pass through and not hit any bone.
But its smaller than the size of a golfball.
Luckily, every damn person with a gun hits that golfball area every damn time.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by anarky »

Gunshot wounds are always unrealistic in movies. They're not usually as fatal as shown in film, but they're almost always a fuckload more incapacitating. In a movie, you get shot and you're either dead, or you just totally shrug off dozens of gunshot wounds.
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by RoIIo Tomassi »

Yeah, I said somewhere else (probably earlier in this topic come to think) that when you get shot, you piss yourself then go into shock.

I was just commenting that when the movies need a 'go to' location for a clean bullet wound, they go the same place every time.
Can't go for leg wounds, because then the actor can't walk.
Too many organs in the torso. Even a 'graze' along the side of the abdomen leads to too much blood and blood loss.
Can't hit the arms because the actor might need to use them to hold a gun or hack a computer(ignoring that a shoulder wound would leave the arm useless).
Obviously neck and head are out, as is center mass chest.

Which leaves the exact same spot on the shoulder over and over and over again. That's what I was getting at. You can hiss through your teeth to let everyone know it hurts, but otherwise you're solid! :roll:
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Re: Phrases of dialogue that should be outlawed

Post by Jargo »

The basic tenet 'Show, don't tell' Is ignored way too much in most TV and movies. Remember McGyver? He didn't waste time with dialog he just got on with constructing a bomb from scotch tape and maple syrup and paper towels. He didn't chatter endlessly. Now every time there's something going on the characters are explaining it and not doing it. I've been watching Stargate Atlantis and it's driving me insane. Every thre seconds they're yammering away explaining to each other what they're going to do then they don't do it but suddenly from somewhere with no resources they've constructed a magical technical device that is compatible with alien technology and only took seconds to knock together. Then they explain everything yet again but this time really fast and incomprehensibly so you know they're in a hurry while standing there not doing what they need to and then finally they hit a random button and PING! the device works. Also every character is incredibly annoying and have no redeeming traits. How Stargate Atlantis lasted five seasons I'll never know. I would have canned it after the first three episodes.
Yeah but basically you can apply the whole talking too much to any movie or TV show these days and it'll likely ring true. Too much talk and not enough plot.

It's probably already been mentioned but the old 'You're either really smart or really dumb' line still gets used. That sticks in my craw. :roll:
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