The Greatest Adventure of all time...

movies are cool. here is a place to talk about how cool they are. or maybe how much they suck, sometimes. like that fucking piece of shit 'mac and me'. worst fucking movie ever, a two-hour ad for fucking coca-cola.

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Diabolical
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Diabolical »

Ford is eager to be Indy again.
Rumor has it that the promise of a 5th Indy movie is what got Ford agree to more Star Wars, even though that hasn't officially been announced yet.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by anarky »

Problem is, after the last one, no one's eager to see him as Indy, unless it totally wipes the slate clean of that mess.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Tom Foolery »

I blame the last one on Lucas' weak ass story and screenplay. Ford was fine and did what he could with what he was given. The same goes for Spielberg.
And you can't tell me they didn't all come up with like a dozen great ideas before George vetoed them all for his alien fetish. I'm sure the rough strokes of a cool story are already there and just need a polish and a screenplay.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Diabolical »

I don't hate Indy 4 like most people. It is definitely the weakest of the four though.

One of my biggest problems with the flick is that every location looks like a movie set. I never once believed they weren't on a soundstage and actually in a jungle or in a graveyard or wherever.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Tom Foolery »

And the Crystal Skull was the catch-all problem solving device for EVERY situation. Need to stop some ants? Use the Skull! Need to open a door? Hold the Skull near it! Any other situation? Try the skull!!
Did a four year old write this?
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Diabolical »

Erectile dysfunction? Use the skull!
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by anarky »

I disliked that the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail are Judeo-Christian myths with a long backstory, and the Sankara Stones are a mix of Hindu myths. But the crystal skulls? Only Giorgio A. Tsoukalos believes they're anything but a shitty hoax perpetrated during what would've been Indy's own lifetime.

Plus Shia Le-BOOF. Any movie with him loses three stars on principle.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Ran »

Some channel ran the Indiana Jones movies this weekend. I only caught part of Raiders of the Lost Ark and most of Temple of Doom. Did they ever explain what happened to Short Round between Temple of Doom and Last Crusade?

I did have wikipedia open while I was watching. Vampire bats don't live in India, but there are alligators. There were a few other things that didn't make sense, but I can't remember what they were.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Diabolical »

Further adventures
Short Round returned with Jones to the United States, where he attended boarding school. In 1936, he assisted the archaeologist off the coast of Bimini where Jones was diving in search of evidence that confirmed the existence of a lost continent named Atlantis. When a corrupt captain called Belgrade tried to rob Jones of any treasures found, Short Round arrived in a speedboat to carry his friend to safety. Afterwards, he returned to school although he lamented it was no fun.
http://indianajones.wikia.com/wiki/Trai ... olden_Guns
Short Round eventually took up the search for the Peacock's Eye like his hero and managed to track the diamond to Hawaii in 1957.
http://indianajones.wikia.com/wiki/The_ ... iana_Jones
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by anarky »

Also, though it seems counter-intuitive, ToD comes before the other two, so your question should be about Short Round between ToD and RotLA. :lol:

(It seems like a typical Lucas retcon, but the date is at the beginning of ToD.)
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Ran »

Oh wow. I never noticed the date on Temple of Doom vs. Raiders.

Judging from Short Round's page on the indianajones.wiki page, he's one of those characters where they really didn't put much thought into his backstory.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Tom Foolery »

Well, it's official. A 5th Indy movie in 2019. Harrison Ford will be 113 years old by then, so I'm assuming it will be the adventures of him shitting himself in the VA hospital.

But really, I think we need something to apologize for KotCS. And if I may make a suggestion, give Indy a cute young female sidekick like Allison Brie instead of that plagiarizing fuckhead from the past movie. If you want, you can have him stung to death by killer bees in the opening pre-credit sequence, and then have people kinda sorta think about feeling bad and going to his funeral, but then immediately get sidetracked by some really good cheese fries or a delicious hotdog and forget about him and never mention him again.

But whatever, if Spielberg and Ford are involved, and Lucas is not, I am fully optimistic despite Ford getting up there in years.
And what Spielberg said about ONLY Ford ever playing Indy, I'm sorry but it's too big a franchise that Disney paid for not to reboot it or add mythology pre-Ford in the 1920s and early 30s at some point. If you had wanted Ford playing this character, you shouldn't have squandered the last three decades by only going back to the well twice. He played the character thrice in a decade and then you fucked off forever because Lucas is a fucking procrastinator.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Ran »

Get JJ Abrahams involved. He could write it so that Shia LaBeouf becomes a communist, stab Indy in the chest, and throw him off the rope bridge similar to the one from Temple of Doom?

Is that enough "homage" to be Abrahams work?
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by jjreason »

Indy's character needs to have morphed into something akin to Sean Connery in part III for this one. Let him pass the torch to Daisy Ridley, just like he did in TFA.
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Re: The Greatest Adventure of all time...

Post by Diabolical »

jjreason wrote:Indy's character needs to have morphed into something akin to Sean Connery in part III for this one. Let him pass the torch to Daisy Ridley, just like he did in TFA.
Sounds like a euphemism.
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