G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

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anarky
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

I read that, and, if it's true, then it sounds like a fucking awful film with all the good parts in the trailer. :(
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Tom Foolery »

I was so excited for this movie I was gonna have celebratory sex on opening day! But this is even better! Now, I can have the sex, and then take my newborn son(or daughter) to the NEW opening day!!!

Life must suck for Paramount. They drew the short straw in the Franchise wars.
Disney has cash cows Marvel, Pirates, Pixar, and animation in general.
Warner Bros has Harry Potter, Batman, and Lord of the Rings. (and DC in general if they could tug their shit together)
Fox has Star Wars and Avatar and X-Men.
Sony has Spider-Man. And now 007.
And Paramount has GiJoe. And Indiana Jones, which gets one new film every forty years. And Star Trek. So really they only have Star Trek. Oh, and Transformers.(sorry, I'd wiped that shit from my long term memory). And Disney snaked Iron Man/Avengers away from them just as it exploded. That's gotta sting like a bitch. I bet the Paramount execs are sitting around going "FUUUUUUUUCK!!'"

The only major studio with shittier franchise prospects is Universal. They've got Jaws and Jurassic Park. Neither of which has had a movie in decades. And a a decent movie in even longer. And Bourne.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by unlimitedpudding »

i blame sarah palin. if the ShamWow Carney Guy was vice president, this never would have happened and we would have saved $100 per month on paper towels.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

Bizarre. I actually considered blaming Sarah Palin in this thread earlier, and figured "why bother"?
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anarky
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

You wanna know one of the biggest marketing clusterfucks in, like, ever?

Today is the Chinese/Vietnamese New Year. 2013 is the Year of the Snake.

So why the fuck isn't there some sort of Retaliation tie-in? Maybe a commercial about The Year of the Snake, with all Cobra-oriented scenes (including maybe a few we haven't seen).

(Of course, why isn't The Hub airing a marathon of Renegades? Seriously, blown opportunity here.)
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arnaky
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by arnaky »

Man, your world must suck. When the landmark 21st movie (which was all silent due to a mistake in editing, but it turned out amazing for it) came out, I couldn't go anywhere in LA without seeing Year of the Snake bullshit everywhere. I had to go into the "Whitetown" section of Magenta County just to get away from it all.

The movies have all been really good, though more people are familiar with the novels. They started up a new comic book a few years ago to capitalize on it, but it's been such utter so bad that Rollo Tornassi actually ate his first issue one time when his husband told him to eat shit.
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anarky
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »


The new stuff in each trailer always looks good, but they worry me that they're showing every second that doesn't suck.

BTW, is that Dr. "My Older Brother Rex" Lewis walking behind Tommy at about the 1:09 mark? If so, THAT is the figure I want!
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

Larry Hama just posted this on Facebook a little while ago:
Larry Hama wrote:Saw RETALIATION today, and I loved it. Huge improvement over ROC.
Okay, I'm going to be making a trip to the theater in a week or so.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Ran »

I only saw a small part of ROC and my kids could have come up with a better story, so claiming it is better than ROC is relative. But, I have to admit that the commercials don't look bad. Well, except for the motorcycle that breaks apart and turns into missles.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Ran »

Holy carp. Four minute clip of the ninja fight on the cliff.



Nothing to do with this video, but in an earlier preview, I thought I saw a hovercraft. After seeing the more recent clips, it looked more like a Cobra boat with two fans on the back instead of one.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Ran »

The ninja scene lasts over 9 minutes and has no dialogue. Basically paying homage to the comic.
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anarky
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

Watch this movie.

Seriously.

It is not perfect. I would not recommend it for any best-of lists. But, after six tries, Hasbro finally got a live-action action movie based on one of their properties that was good. It's a fairly solid action flick with good acting and (gasp!) a passable plot with no holes you could drive a HAVOC through. It's worth paying to see. Hell, the ninja fight is worth the ticket cost by itself.

There are very few Easter eggs. Probably a good thing. It's widely known that most of the returning characters don't survive. So if some dude gets called Dusty, well, guess what, no fucking Dusty in #3. The next movie can be a true Joe movie. This is a good movie that cleans house and sets up something that's less a James Bond fanfic and more a proper Joe movieverse.

I will not fucking lie--the first time Stevenson shows up in his balaclava, I was floored. That man is fucking Firefly given flesh; I don't care if the character is Australian and not a ninja-trained Vietnamese dude of French descent.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by RoIIo Tomassi »

Six? Are you counting Battleship?

And good to know the movie is good. I'll probably go on cheap Tuesday.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

It's not quite the same story-based franchise, but, yeah, I count Battleship since they tried to turn it into the same sort of shitty movie.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Tom Foolery »

It did well enough they're already talking a third movie. That's good news, I guess.
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