G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

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G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Eternal Padawan »

This topic spools out of the Casting Topic. A few years ago, a friend and I for fun started writing a Live Action GI Joe movie. The details are fuzzy but I'll try to remember as much as i can. We got about three fourths of the way through it but couldn't come up with a strong, exciting closing act. We decided to go with the strong back story Larry Hama created in the comics, rather than the cartoon. The story was told through the eyes of Ripcord, who had just been recruited to the Top Secret Anti Terrorist Quick response task force code named Delta Something, but by which all the team members referred to as GIJoe. The main Joes were

Ripcord
Snake-Eyes
Scarlett
Stalker
Roadblock
Flint
Lady Jaye
Duke and/or Hawk ( cant remember)
with supporting "cameos" by

Breaker ( comic relief)
Wild Bill
and most of the original team, many only as visual cameos, so you'd know who the character was, but they wouldn't have more than a line at most ("Oh hey! Rock and Roll!" etc..)

I think I threw Cover Girl in there as well, since you can never have too many hotties in a movie.

The Bad Guys were
Cobra Commander
Zartan
The Drednoks ( again, many of these were visual cameos with no meaty dialogue)
Dr Mindbender ( much more of a serious aide de camp/right hand man to CC and less of a whining douche)
Stormshadow
And of course, lots of Vipers.

There was going to be a quick pre-credit sequence where a depressed, drunk guy leaves his ranting brother's house and then you are cutting back and forth between him a family until their cars collide.

CREDITS

Story opened on Ripcord's first day. He was transferred to the "Motor Pool" for reasons he cant fathom since hes a decorated HALO jumper with lots of active combat experience. We are intro'd to the main characters and "The Pit". he then gets tossed into an emergency mission to a Banana Republic alonf with SE, Roadblock, Clutch(?) and Wild Bill to protect and escort a Scientist out of a revolution setting at the US Embassy. ( I think we even called it Sierra Gordo). This sets up the first main action sequence where the good guys escape on a C-130 under heavy artilley fire from skeevy Central American "soldiers".

In the course of the film you realize Zartan is posing as the scientist and the real scientist is already in the hands of Cobra so they can use him to gain access to some macguffin.

The second act revolved around Cobra taking over a skyscraper and the Joe team confronting them in and around the building, but it actually being a diversionary tactic, while Stormshadow broke into another highly secure building nearby to steal the previously mentioned macguffin. There is a lot of cool fighting inside the building and whatnot. This eventually leads to a HUGE car/helicoptor/tank/motorcycle chase thru downtown. Very exciting stuff.

The third act, being nebulous in how we wanted to make it better than our first two kick ass acts, involved GIJoe discovering Cobra's lair and their "plans" for some terrorist act ( which I think we were going to make a red herring plot twist at the end). So Team Joe descends on Cobra hideout. There are BIG battles with cool vehicles and shootouts between Vipers and Joe, but also a personal, kickass ninja sword fight between SE and SS. I was going to have the iconic revealing of the matching tatoos being one of the final shots of the movie. No biggie for those that know the lore, but a big !!!!! for novice movie goers. In the end Cobra Commander gets captured, the Joes win ( but really not since Cobras true objective was completed), Stormshadow gets away.

There were a few VERY QUICK flashbacks about Snake Eyes, such as him getting the news about his family, him getting recruited up in the Sierra mountains, him getting disfigured in the coptor crash interspersed.

The two main couples were going to be very different, one was going to be a slow building story SE/Scarlett, while the Flint/Lady Jaye was played for banter and comic releif. These two obviously want to bone, but instead they just trade barbs at one another while shooting bad guys.
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

We saved Destro, Baroness and Crimson Guard for the second film, so you could even more elite evil soldiers topping the "regular" Vipers in #1. The movie was going to open with a truly vicious prison breakout where Cobra comes in and lays waste to the Federal prison holding CC. They leave a gigantic, bloody Cobra sigil on the wall of the smoking wreckage with bodies of prison guards and inmates alike strewn about. We had nothing written out, but I wanted to "reintroduce" our main heroes, Stalker, Snake-Eyes etc as being undercover in the middle east. Snake-Eyes mask obscured by a turban, etc. This also gives you an oppurtunity to introduce Dusty, etc. Fresh Joes. From their they find a new Cobra plot which takes them to a cold weather environment somewhere. Again, you can then introduce Snow-Job, the Snowcat, etc. hadnt really thought about how and where Destro figured into things, but I sort of saw it as a three way confrontation between Destro, Cobra and JOE.

I was also going to delve into the flashbacks of Stormshadow much as we had done with SE in the first movie, making him more sympathetic, of course as he is looking for the man who killed his master. And of course, teasing the audience by revealing that he and Snake Eyes trained together as ninjas.

And I REALLY hadn't thought about this much at all, but i wanted to end the second movie with a cliffhanger where SCARLETT DIES at the hands of Cobra Commander. Thus setting up a whopper of a third movie because the audience wants SE to find and kill that bastard as much as SE does. Of course, in the third movie you would find out that she wasnt really dead.
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Sommers handpicked to ruin G.I.Joe movie

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Code: Select all

Riding the wave generated by "Transformers" success, Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Hasbro's Brian Goldner will produce a G.I. Joe live-action movie scheduled for release in 2009. Joining the production team is newly-named director, Stephen Sommers, and business-partner Bob Ducsay. 

"We were thinking about what kind of director could really flush this franchise down the toilet from day one," said diBonaventura" and then like a sign from god, Van Helsing showed up on HBO at 2:00 A.M.  And I thought, Jesus, that's brilliant!"  DiBonaventura went on to add that he thought the character of Snake-Eyes was a big pussy and the movie would solely focus on Duke getting into Scarlett's panties.

The film will have a cast of approximately 30 core, characters, good and evil to use during development. These characters were first introduced during the 1980's through an animated TV series and 155 issues of Marvel Comics. Hasbro is excited as they unite Sommer's vision for the property with 25 years of G.I. Joe history.

"Marrying Steve's vision with 25 years of this brand mythology feels like a great way to go forward," Hasbro's Goldner said.

While some remember the character from its gung-ho fighting man '60s incarnation, he's evolved. G.I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer. The property is closer in tone to "X-Men" and James Bond than a war film.

When asked why there would be such a deliberate deviation from the source material that made the franchise so popular and viable to begin with, Sommers responded "Well, I've never read a G.I.Joe comic or watched the cartoon, or played with the toys, but I figured I know better than anyone what G.I.Joe is all about.  And I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with America or anything."

Fans reactions are mixed.  Dr. Anarky, a longtime professor of Joeology at vynsane.com was noted as saying "Sweet fucking Christ, and I thought they couldn't fuck anything over worse than Transformers.  Clearly, I was wrong."
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Re: Sommers handpicked to ruin G.I.Joe movie

Post by Eternal Padawan »

What the fuck?!? Brussels? Are they kidding?





Seriously?




Brussels?







I guess, since I'm closest, I should head over to diBonaventura's offices and kick him in the balls, huh?










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Re: Sommers handpicked to ruin G.I.Joe movie

Post by anarky »

As long as Cobra-la is in it.... :roll:
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Re: Sommers handpicked to ruin G.I.Joe movie

Post by Senor JabbaJohnL »

I wonder how long until they try to make a movie based on their Star Wars line and then realize, "Oh, wait . . . fuck"?
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Re: Sommers handpicked to ruin G.I.Joe movie

Post by Ran »

The only way this can be good is to make all the Joes' hot women from various countries and make the movie one long shower scene, followed by a slumber part in the barracks. Duke would be a German dominatrix, Flint, the all-american gal, Snow Job would be some hot Swiss blonde on skis, Road Block would be Halle Berry. Snake Eyes: Hot Japanese babe in an tight fitting spandex ninja suit. Need I go on?
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Re: Sommers handpicked to ruin G.I.Joe movie

Post by Eternal Padawan »

I just don't understand how a "Real American Hero" can be based out of Belgium. i don't get it.


And that Acronym?!? Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity?? :gay!:


Plus I hear, they are courting Mark Wahlberg to play Duke, and Jason Statham to play Snake-Eyes. Except they want SE to be able to talk and show his face, so he'll be called "Action Man". ARRRGHHHH!! :x :evil: :x :evil:


I guess I was a little more okay with them futzing with the Transformers canon, sonce there have already been several incarnations, G1, Beast Wars, RID, Armada, Energon, Cybertron, etc, I figured, whats one more? But with Joe, ARAH, there's only been ONE backstory. Hama's impressive run, not to mention all his cardfiles. That's the Joe story. And they just want to toss al that out the window? WTF? It bothers me.







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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Zero »

So they went and wrecked the whole GIJoe movie thing. Stephen "van helsing" Sommers?


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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Negative Boy »

Man, fuck your stupid ass G.I.Joe movie. Ball lickers.
GOD! That is so STUPID!! You are WRONG!!

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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

I just read at comicbookresources that, rumor is, Ray Park has been cast as Snake Eyes.

Aside from the height, which should be easily covered up, good choice. Provided he's never unmasked, of course.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

It's official. GIJoe is going to be the follow-up to Transformers.

http://www.variety.com/article/VR111797 ... id=13&cs=1
Wayans enrolls in 'G.I. Joe'
Film is set to start shooting next month in L.A.

Marlon Wayans has signed on to star in Paramount actioner "G.I. Joe."
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in negotiations to join the tentpole, which is based on the American soldier action figure created by Hasbro.

Wayans will play Ripcord, leader of the military unit.

War-themed story is set 10 years in the future. Stuart Beattie penned the screenplay, while Paul Lovett & David Elliot and Skip Woods contributed earlier drafts.

The Stephen Sommers-helmed film is set to start shooting next month in Los Angeles. Rachel Nichols, Sienna Miller, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Said Taghmaoui have already joined the cast.

Lorenzo di Bonaventura, who produced the Hasbro-based hit "Transformers," is producing "G.I. Joe" alongside the toy giant's Brian Goldner. Sommers and partner Bob Ducsay also will serve in a producing capacity.

Paramount will release the film on Aug. 7, 2009.

Wayans, who most recently starred in "Little Man" and "The Ladykillers," is developing a cop action spoof for Par alongside brothers Shawn and Keenen Ivory Wayans.

He is repped by WMA.
Ripcord? Ripcord? Okay, your version used him, too, but it made some sense. This doesn't.

Ten years in the future? Why?

And fucking Marlon Wayans? Christ.

I... I'm too fucking disappointed to rant.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Double_G »

I don't really give much of a damn, as I don't know who Ripcord is and I'm not expecting much from this movie anyway, but the girl who's playing Scarlett is mighty fine.

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And since he got Ray Park to play Snake Eyes, I wouldn't say Sommers is completely off his nutter. If he could get Gary Oldman to play Cobra Commander, I may even have hope for this movie.
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by anarky »

Scarlett is hot and athletic. Not a hot anorexic case. This broad looks like a wannabe porn star who hasn't eaten a meal she didn't vomit up in her entire life. Sorry, even the way she's dressed isn't doing anything for me.

I've been trying to find the bitching picture of her by Adam Hughes from her updated bio near the end of the Marvel series. Strangely, none of these bios seem to be online as far as I can tell, despite art by some of the giants of the field at the time. :???:
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Re: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

Post by Double_G »

She doesn't look anorexic in this picture:

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