G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

[anarky]

I just watched the Jem trailer.

Hasbro wants that audience who thought the Battleship, Transformers, and Joe movies were just way too faithful.

Calling it now: huge bomb, and Chu's career is gone. Too bad; he did a decent enough job mopping up Rise of Cobra's mess that he could've given us a good Joe 3.

[Tom Foolery]

They’re doing a Snake Eyes Origin movie for 2020.

Now, as we all know, Snake Eyes already has the perfect origin story.

So naturally, Hollywood is gonna fuck it up by ignoring the Zartan angle, adding an evil brother to Stormshadow, a rival ninja clan, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, a love triangle between Nate, Tommy, and female ninja.

[Ran]

Went to look for an article about the Snake Eyes movie and found this:

https://screenrant.com/gi-joe-snake-eye ... tart-date/

With the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, many movie studios are hoping to create their own successful cinematic universe. While Paramount is hoping to get the Transformers franchise back on the right track with Bumblebee, they are also looking to turn more Hasbro toys into franchises such as Micronauts, M.A.S.K., and Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light. Some people even think that Bumblebee will be the beginning of the Hasbro shared universe by introducing John Cena's character as the first G.I. Joe.

Which lead to this:
https://screenrant.com/bumblebee-john-c ... er-gi-joe/

[Tom Foolery]

After buying Lucasfilm and Marvel, Disney should’ve set their sights on Hasbro as their next IP treasure trove.

[Ran]

So...Ariel as Scarlet, Belle as Lady Jaye, and Malificent as the Baroness?

[jjreason]

If, at any point moving forward I get some weird boner over this concept you're all fired.

[Ran]

Fine...

Whoever the prince was from the Little Mermaid as Flint
Aladdin as Ezra (oops,wrong Hasbro property, plus it has already been done.)
Hell, I am having trouble naming male Disney characters.

[Tom Foolery]

How do I point out, that casting an Asian actor as Snake-Eyes defeats the point of him being an outsider brought into a rigid traditionalist clan and fostering resentment from the other clan members, without sounding racist?

I’ve never seen Crazy Rich Asians and I’m sure the guy is a decent, charismatic actor. I don’t want to be that guy.
The last two GIJoe movies were underwhelming. I should just hope for a good film regardless of casting.

[anarky]

How do I point out, that casting an Asian actor as Snake-Eyes defeats the point of him being an outsider brought into a rigid traditionalist clan and fostering resentment from the other clan members, without sounding racist?

It's like they want to avoid the backlash of well-meaning but ignorant people complaining of whitewashing that happened with Iron Fist, and missed that making either IF or SE Asian undermines the characters for the same reason.

[Tom Foolery]

I mean, I’ll go see it....but it feels “Snake-Eyes” and not, y’know...authentic SNAKE EYES.

[anarky]

Dear Hasbro,

Clearly you learned nothing the last time you (painfully obviously) slapped the Joe name on an unrelated script you had gathering dust on the shelf.

And some of us aren't going to the theater in July even if you'd made an absolutely perfect Joe movie.

I look forward to all the movie figures reaching new levels of pegwarmerry when they finally come out in December, providing the final nail in the Classified Series' coffin.

[Ran]

So that will be on basic cable sometime in 2023 or so? I think I can wait that long.

[jjreason]

So that will be on basic cable sometime in 2023 or so? I think I can wait that long.

Yep. I'm hoping the person who graciously allows me to use their google play movie account buys it honestly.

[Tom Foolery]

Rise of Cobra is on Hulu so I watched it yesterday because I was bored and hadn’t seen it in years. I forgot Snake Eyes had lips on his mask. Hahaha.
Then I came here and reread this entire thread for nostalgia.
It was an amusing trip down memory lane where we were all bitching about how awful the movie was going to be, and then got slightly hopeful that it might not blow donkey farts as we got images of Snake Eyes, only to be brought back to reality after we saw it and it did indeed blow donkey farts.
I’m fairly certain I bought a DVD for $5 at WalMart or somewhere that has both RoC and Retaliation on it, but I’m not sure where it ended up during the move. I’m curious to rewatch the sequel now.

[anarky]

I need to re-watch, but I recall Retaliation being as perfect a G.I. Joe movie that a sequel to that pile of shit Rise of Cobra could be.