Superhero casting call: What the hell ever

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Superhero casting call: What the hell ever

Post by anarky »

If you have a thought on a comic (or cartoon character) who should be played by a particular actor, post it here. No unifying theme necessary.

Guy Gardner: Denis Leary

Hal Jordan: the older dude from CSI

The Toyman: Martin Short (pulling head out of anus to provide one of his rare good acting jobs)

The Evil Midnight Bomber (What Bombs At Midnight): Steve Buscemi

Darkseid: Ving Rhames

More to come.
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

You mean William Petersen? I always thought Scott Bakula would make a good Hal, but then he got TOO old. Denis Leary as Guy is brilliant though.
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

GIJoe Casting call

Stormshadow.....Rick Yune
Zartan..............That British Guy From Alias
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Post by Ran »

The Riddler: Ed Harris (because he sort of looks like Frank Gorshin.)

Superman: Batista (the pro wrestler) Enough of those pansy Supermen, get a dude that's ripped.


Didn't anarky come up with the entire cast for a GI Joe movie either here or over on the other site? I searched for it, but couldn't find it.
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Post by jjreason »

Current (36-38 year old) Peter Parker: Matthew Broderick.

Steve Rogers: Robert Redford.

and I'm spent. That wasn't very good.
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Re: Superhero casting call: What the hell ever

Post by Negative Boy »

anarky wrote:If you have a thought on a comic (or cartoon character) who should be played by a particular actor, post it here. No unifying theme necessary.

Guy Gardner: Denis Leary

Hal Jordan: the older dude from CSI

The Toyman: Martin Short (pulling head out of anus to provide one of his rare good acting jobs)

The Evil Midnight Bomber (What Bombs At Midnight): Steve Buscemi

Darkseid: Ving Rhames

More to come.

Where do I begin? Clearly you have never had any casting experiments or you would know that Denis Leary has the completely wrong haircut for Guy Gardner, and his accent is all wrong.

Hal Jordan was never a Criminal Forensic Investigator, so having a CSI guy play him is irresponsible.

Martin Short is totally the wrong age to play the Toyman. Being in his mid to late 40's to 60's and playing a comic book character who has been around since the 50's but hasn't aged is unrealistic. Anybody who would come up with such a lame idea is completely unhinged from reality.

Steve Buscemi has the wrong teeth to play that character. I can't even beleive you would say that. It is so wrong.

Ha ha! Ving Rhames is a black man! Everyone knows Darkseid is from Apokalips and a giant, evil alien. I can't think of a more unrealistic choice. Also, no would ever make a Darkseid movie becuase he is a villain and villains don't get their own movies. Realistically, Ving Rhames would play a drug dealer or a pimp in a movie with somebody like Tom Hanks becuase he is black.

Ha ha. i can't believe you would write something so stupid.
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

Jamie Bamber ( From BSG) to play Hal Jordan.

Naveen Andrews (from Lost) as Sinestro.


Paul Walker as Captain America.
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Post by anarky »

Rogue II wrote:Didn't anarky come up with the entire cast for a GI Joe movie either here or over on the other site? I searched for it, but couldn't find it.

Code: Select all

I think the premise should be similar to a combination of the origin stories from the regular comic series and the short-lived Reloaded series. Cobra should be a totally new threat that comes more or less out of left field and cripples the nation's infrastructure in a single, high-tech blow. The Joe team should be formed to exist totally outside the normal structure of the US military, though not nearly as extreme as in Reloaded (where they had to completely eradicate their identities).

All of the backstory regarding Snake Eyes and Cobra Commander should remain, though it would have to be seriously streamlined so as not to take an entire movie and four sequels. However, since it would not make sense to have a bunch of Vietnam vets running around as the best of the best of the best the US has to offer, the war in question should probably be changed to the first Gulf War.

I don't think the origin stories should be delved into much in the first film, though. Too much to bite off in two hours. It can be explored in a sequel, when we learn who Cobra Commander is.

The core Joe team should be made up of Hawk, Stalker, Snake Eyes, Scarlett, Roadblock, Gung Ho, Shipwreck, and Wild Bill. Yes, that's changed slightly from the original list, because focusing on two romantic storylines (Snake Eyes/Scarlett and Flint/Lady Jaye) may be too much. To fill the holes, Stalker seemed obvious (being, aside from Storm Shadow, the only person in the story to know Snake Eyes prior to the Joe team being formed). And, dude, how'd I forget Gung Ho?

Snake Eyes almost has to be the main character, or at least the character who steals the limelight from the "main" character. Funny thing, though, I don't think it much matters who plays him, as long as he's a true badass martial artist. He doesn't talk, and we don't see his face (unless there's a flashback). If he wasn't so short, I'd nominate Ray Park for the role. Even so, height could be dealt with. They made Maul look pretty big.

Snake Eyes' love interest, Scarlett, has to be a gorgeous redhead who's almost as nasty in the fighting department as Snake Eyes. While the red hair could be a wig or dye job, I think X-Men's Fammke Jansen definitely has the look for Scarlett, as long as the karate and southern accent aren't a problem. (Whether she had one on the 'toon or not, the lady's from Atlanta. Her non-disguised speaking voice should reflect that.)

Stalker would have to be the same age as Snake Eyes, probably 35-40 if they served together in Desert Storm. This being the case, a slight backstory change would probably be necessary. Rather than a gang lord from Detroit who enlisted and went to 'Nam, a change of scenery would seems to be called for. Where Detroit was known for being tough in the 70s, Compton was much more "scary gang territory" in the early 90s.

Which leads me to a possibly unexpected choice to play Lonzo "Stalker" Wilkinson: Ice Cube. After you shake your head in disbelief for a moment, picture Cube in camo and a beret, toting a machine gun and blowing away Cobra thugs. It would work, I think.

Roadblock has to be big, he has to be bald, and he has to be able to easily use a machine gun so big that "anyone who can handle [it] doesn't need a machine gun to keep me away." Absolutely no question. Michael Clarke Duncan. The voice may not be what we expect from Roadblock, but the tone fits a guy that huge better than Roadblock's cartoon voice.

Second choice for Roadblock: Tiny "Zeus" Lister. Third choice: Ving Rhames. They're all great actors who would make awesome Roadblocks, but I think Duncan steals this one with his massive size. (And how cool is any movie if we can see Michael Clarke Duncan not only carrying a huge gun, but in an apron and chef's hat, too?)

Wild Bill should almost be played as comic relief, I think. The rest of the team is pretty damned serious, so a pilot who thinks he's a cowboy and cracks stupid jokes, just like on the show, would be perfect. Strange as the choice seems, my mind keeps coming back to Jeff Foxworthy. He has the look (minus the Ray Bans) and the corny voice, and it's not like we'd need to see him in much real action. He just has to be the best helicopter pilot there is.

For the Cobras, first we have Cobra Commander. A little older than Snake Eyes, almost totally unseen, physically unassuming but able to control legions with a mere whisper. Would have to convey evil through just voice, gestures, and eyes. Though he doesn't have the Chris Latta voice, I think John Malkovich would make a more realistic, and downright scary, Cobra Commander.

For Snake Eyes' former comrade, Storm Shadow, we need another awesome martial artist. Though the nationality is wrong (and when has that ever stopped Hollywood?), I'm leaning toward Jet Li. His American movies are crap, but Hero proves that he can be an excellent actor. And he bears more than a little physical resemblance to Stormie, as well.

I'm not a fan, but I think (aside from way too big a name) Angelina Jolie is perfect for the Baroness. I'm not sure she can act her way out of a paper bag, awards notwithstanding, so the accent may be a stretch for her.

Those I've not mentioned I haven't any concrete ideas about. Your turn.
And then you threw out "Stone Cold" Steve Austin as Gung Ho.

And then I threw out cameos by Larry Hama as either the Hard Master or the Soft Master (depending on what he looks like now), and Stephen King as Crystal Ball in some shot of a bunch of Cobras that don't actually do anything.
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Post by Ran »

Yeah, that's the list. What about the dude that played Darth Maul & Toad as Snake-Eyes? Or is he too short to work with Fammke Jansen?
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Post by anarky »

Wouldn't that be, uh, Ray Park?
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

I wrote GIJoe a few years ago and can discuss my story at length in another topic, but here are some casting choices.

I always pictured and unnamed group of stuntmen as playing Snake-Eyes. They could play that up and make the "actor" as mysterious as the character when promoting the film.

I forgot his name but the guy that played the gay cop on Six Feet Under would make a kickass Roadblock.

I used to think Isiah Washington would make a cool Stalker, but now I think hes a douchemonger. I'll keep thinking about this one.

For Flint, I had an unusual choice, the guy that played the asshole in the first Van Wilder movie. Again, I forgot his name. There was some making of material on the DVD and he came across as actaully a rugged kind of guy, but you know he can play the comic straight man.

Scarlett doesn't need to be an actual redhead. Thats why they make hair dye and wigs. but I think she should definitely be southern. i actually thought the blonde chick from Joe Dirt would make a good Scarlett, but she might be getting a little long in the tooth.

Cobra Commander works the same as Snake-Eyes. Mostly in shadow or his face obscured, you could really play with this one and have him be a huge star like Tom Cruise or something. i also like the idea of Mark Hamill.

I've already mentioned Rick Yune as Stormshadow.


In my story, Baroness and Destro, and the Crimson Guard were saved for the sequel. Cobra Commander, Zartan, the Drednoks, Stormshadow, and to a lesser extent Dr Mindbender were the primary villains in the first one.
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Post by Ran »

anarky wrote:Wouldn't that be, uh, Ray Park?
I suppose it would. Whenever I hear that name, I think of the dude that sang the Ghostbusters' theme song. Then I get confused.
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Post by Zero »

Ran wrote:Yeah, that's the list. What about the dude that played Darth Maul & Toad as Snake-Eyes? Or is he too short to work with Fammke Jansen?
WOW. YOU GUESSED THAT TWO YEARS BEFORE THEY MADE THE FILM.

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Re: Superhero casting call: What the hell ever

Post by Ran »

Well, anarky both came up with the same guy. He did it first, and I did it unknowingly because I'm terrible with actor names, especially when the guy's face is covered with a mask or paint.
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