serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

books are important. a dying art. please, please, let me know that there are still people out there that read more than just magazines.

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Zaphod
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serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by Zaphod »

i'm working on a children's book. no joke. i've got the basic story down, i just can't come up with a title and would like some advice.

timmy is a bit old to believe in santa claus, but he does. the other kids laugh at him about it. billy tells him that he'll only believe if timmy produces video evidence.

now timmy is an internet porno addict, and misinterprets what billy meant by "video". he's also gay and into older men. so he decides he's going to attack santa when he's leaving presents for his sister, and record himself fucking santa up the ass. only he has a change of heart when santa shows up. how can he prove to billy that santa is real without assaulting a beloved legend?

thankfully, santa is also gay, and into boys. so he not only records himself riding timmy raw, but personally delivers ipads containing the video to all the kids at school to find in their stockings. so they get awesome presents and proof that santa is real, and timmy gets the best fuck of his young life. everyone's happy. except for timmy's sister, who got santa's cum all over her doll, but she's kind of a bitch throughout the book anyway.

the title is really giving me trouble though.
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jjreason
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by jjreason »

I saw Timmy Riding Santa Claus (with musical notes floating around the title, as though it's being sung)

Ho Ho Holy Night, That Burns!!!!

Sugarplums, Reindeer and Bitten Pillows - A Christmas Love Story

Santa's Sack

.... and I'm spent.
"Something inside me....."
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anarky
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by anarky »

"Make the Yuletide Gay"
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
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Rollo Tomassi
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

Timmy makes The Nice 'n' Naughty List
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie
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jjreason
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by jjreason »

The Adventures of Timmy & the Salty Egg-Nog
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Ran
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by Ran »

A Candy Cane for Santa
Santa takes one up the chimney
Oh, Horny Night
Here Cums Santa Claus
Jingle Balls
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Bizarro The Grin
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by Bizarro The Grin »

i'LL ASK sANTA NEXT TIME i FUCK HIM.

:D
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Ben Reilly
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by Ben Reilly »

Typical anti-Christian leftist claptrap. You mock what you don't understand by trying to corrupt it with all the gay shit you love. Why not make Timmy a Muslim, too, since you love Muslims too, you fucking commie? You're really living up to the legacy of your hero Hitler here, you libtard.

I wish the leftist minority would stop persecuting the Christians. Maybe we should shoot you fuckers in the head.
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Rollo Tomassi
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

That title would never fit on the book, Reilly. You suck at this.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie
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Zaphod
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by Zaphod »

i dunno, rollo. i'm planning it to be a very large picture book, so kids can enjoy the 30-page montage of santa fucking timmy as much as possible, so ben's title might fit. i rather like it. i haven't liked a title for a book so much since i called my last one "hey ashley judd, i know you're old and all but i'll still fuck you in a heartbeat, so give me a call!"
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Re: serious question: need advice re: a kids' book

Post by unlimitedpudding »

Here is your title, "Young Zaphod and Why Santa Jiggles Like a Bowl Full of Jelly"
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