Amazing but true Sloth stories

sloths are awesome. everyone knows that. and if you don't, you're an idiot because they will gnaw off your genitalia. very very slowly. and it will hurt. bad.

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mustard man
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Postby mustard man » Wed Sep 14, 2005 6:58 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by vynsane</i>
<br />one day a sloth was just slowly walking down the street, minding his own business, just whistling "a boy named sue" to himself, when this dude just like, bumps into him while walking past: as if he didn't see him there, or they were both walking to fast for him to notice! i mean, c'mon! he's a fucking sloth!

so, anyway, the sloth wheels around, slowly, and the dude says: hey, algae breath, watch where i'm going! ha ha aha!

so the sloth, not being able to talk (not because he's a sloth, we all know sloths can talk, this one's just a mute...) just jumps like, so high in the air, and knocks the dude over, and starts to gnaw on his genetalia.

the end.

this story is so cool, i forgot to eat for the two days it took me to write this.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

This is a fine story. it's relly rad! what happened next vynsane?[8]

mustard man
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Postby mustard man » Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:13 pm

hey, grimlock. hou1 or whatever his name is posted 5 things in a row! maybe you should talk to him.[8]

pyrofreak
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Postby pyrofreak » Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:30 pm

i like sloths, they make me wanna become a zoo keeper!

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Antropov
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Postby Antropov » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:38 pm

A NEGATIVE ZONE zoo keeper? HAW!

slothmeister general
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Postby slothmeister general » Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:51 am

Hey guys I was jus wondering if it was wrong to have a physical attraction to sloths, i think those dudes are like so f*cking hot!!

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vynsane
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Postby vynsane » Wed Nov 16, 2005 2:41 pm

whatever floats your boat, there, dude... but i've heard it's the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat, and sloths move REALLY slow.

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Antropov
stormshadow
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Postby Antropov » Wed Nov 16, 2005 9:53 pm

Some like it that way. To each their own.

Rosie
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Postby Rosie » Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:08 pm

pleaee foget about hui1 or mub bum its stpid i know those guys real well nd hui 1 is just weird in real life...

slothmeister general
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Postby slothmeister general » Mon Nov 21, 2005 9:59 am

Hi guys, jus to let you know I'm having my monthly sloth party on 29th if anyone fancies it?? Its jus the usual thing, a few friends, having a few drinks, abit of a food, get naked dress as sloths and film each other doing deviant acts, you know the usual kind of thing people do at parties!!

Haylesworth
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Postby Haylesworth » Mon Nov 21, 2005 10:28 am

Hey! I'm new here but your party sounds cool. Have you got any photos from previous parties I can see??

Sloths rule -------------

slothmeister general
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Postby slothmeister general » Mon Nov 21, 2005 10:50 am

hi haylesworth, the picture above next to my caption is actually of me in my sloth costume in a mock up tree i put into my living room at the last sloth party. Is that picture of you below actually you in your sloth out fit cause thats like the hottest sloth ive ever seen in my life, i especially like the "adam and the ant" style eye make up!!

Haylesworth
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Postby Haylesworth » Mon Nov 21, 2005 10:57 am

No mate - that is a picture of a real sloth - one I used to hang out with in the smoking alley by school (back in the day). Its been so long since I've seen a real life sloth now so I feel a bit out of touch with it all. After a recent nervous breakdown, I thought it was about time I got back to my roots. I don't have an actual sloth costume - I was hoping to get body painted and then perhaps get a few props in like longer arms, more fur etc... would I fit in ok at your party?? I would love to have some friends that share my interests. :)

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Postby slothmeister general » Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:56 am

of course not, alot of the people who frequent my parties are new sloth to the sloth scene, it maybe that they've jus finished a long term relationship and they're looking to re-invent themselves or maybe a young couple who want to spice up there life by covering themsleves in fur and moving very slowly round a strangers flat, heres a few good books to take a look "sloth for beginners", "21st century sloth", "too many cooks spoil the sloth" and finally "sloths and the city" all of which are packed with handy tips on living as sloth in the modern world.

Happy slothing x

Haylesworth
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Postby Haylesworth » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:03 pm

Oh brilliant - I'll see if I can get those on Amazon. Really appreciate all your help Slothmeister - I was afraid this forum was set up as a joke at first. Sloths are so so so wicked.

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anarky
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Postby anarky » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:57 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Haylesworth</i>
<br />I was afraid this forum was set up as a joke at first.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Actually, it was. However, the "SLOTHS!!!" section increasingly becomes more frightening and less amusing of late.


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