Amazing but true Sloth stories

sloths are awesome. everyone knows that. and if you don't, you're an idiot because they will gnaw off your genitalia. very very slowly. and it will hurt. bad.

Moderators: Batman, Zero, John Madden, Bob Ross, General Zod, Richard Simmons

User avatar
vynsane
master of the universe
Posts: 5872
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 11:16 pm
Location: in my quiet place, punch-dancing out my rage
Contact:

Postby vynsane » Mon Nov 21, 2005 2:05 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by slothmeister general</i>
<br />and finally "sloths and the city"
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

i heard they got slothah jessica parker to play the main character in the tv adaptation of that one...

User avatar
Slicker
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 2126
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:06 am
Location: I just need a sammich
Contact:

Postby Slicker » Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:01 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by slothmeister general</i>
<br />Hi guys, jus to let you know I'm having my monthly sloth party on 29th if anyone fancies it?? Its jus the usual thing, a few friends, having a few drinks, abit of a food, get naked dress as sloths and film each other doing deviant acts, you know the usual kind of thing people do at parties!!
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by haylesworth</i><br /> Hey! I'm new here but your party sounds cool. Have you got any photos from previous parties I can see??

Sloths rule -------------<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by slothmeister general</i>
<br />hi haylesworth, the picture above next to my caption is actually of me in my sloth costume in a mock up tree i put into my living room at the last sloth party. Is that picture of you below actually you in your sloth out fit cause thats like the hottest sloth ive ever seen in my life, i especially like the "adam and the ant" style eye make up!!<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by haylesworth</i><br />No mate - that is a picture of a real sloth - one I used to hang out with in the smoking alley by school (back in the day). Its been so long since I've seen a real life sloth now so I feel a bit out of touch with it all. After a recent nervous breakdown, I thought it was about time I got back to my roots. I don't have an actual sloth costume - I was hoping to get body painted and then perhaps get a few props in like longer arms, more fur etc... would I fit in ok at your party?? I would love to have some friends that share my interests. :)<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by slothmeister general</i>
<br />of course not, alot of the people who frequent my parties are new sloth to the sloth scene, it maybe that they've jus finished a long term relationship and they're looking to re-invent themselves or maybe a young couple who want to spice up there life by covering themsleves in fur and moving very slowly round a strangers flat, heres a few good books to take a look "sloth for beginners", "21st century sloth", "too many cooks spoil the sloth" and finally "sloths and the city" all of which are packed with handy tips on living as sloth in the modern world.

Happy slothing x<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by haylesworth</i><br />Oh brilliant - I'll see if I can get those on Amazon. Really appreciate all your help Slothmeister - I was afraid this forum was set up as a joke at first. Sloths are so so so wicked.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">


This is quite possibly the most disturbing exchange I've ever read.

quaker_sloths_oatmeal
bacon
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:03 pm
Location: Canada
Contact:

Postby quaker_sloths_oatmeal » Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:04 pm

There's this guy named Harold and nobody knew it but he was really aa giant bird. And in the same class was a guy named Yosh who was really small and slow and he was really a sloth but know one knew it. One day the class was playing basketball and Harold "Birdman" caught the ball. But instead of catching it he flew up to the net, sat on the board behind the net and dropped it in. And as he sat their, watching the class, everyone started to freak out. But not as much as Yosh. He was so scared, because everyone knows that sloths are the giant birds food of choice. So anyway, Yosh (really King Louis Sloth, ruler of all the sloths) started to shake, and he could feel his human suit slipping off. Nobody seemed to notice, except Harold. So he flew off his board and soared towards King Louis. So King Louis started to run. Much to everyone's surprise, King Louis was fast.This was because to make himself move more like a human, he had taken steroids. But alas, Harold was to fast for him. As he clutched him in his talons, King Louis took out his castenets and started to play them. For this was the call for all sloths to come save their leader. But King Louis had forgotten that the other sloths were slow. So King Louis flew away with Harold, never to be seen again.

quaker_sloths_oatmeal
bacon
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:03 pm
Location: Canada
Contact:

Postby quaker_sloths_oatmeal » Tue Feb 07, 2006 7:34 am

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by quaker_sloths_oatmeal</i>
<br />There's this guy named Harold and nobody knew it but he was really aa giant bird. And in the same class was a guy named Yosh who was really small and slow and he was really a sloth but know one knew it. One day the class was playing basketball and Harold "Birdman" caught the ball. But instead of catching it he flew up to the net, sat on the board behind the net and dropped it in. And as he sat their, watching the class, everyone started to freak out. But not as much as Yosh. He was so scared, because everyone knows that sloths are the giant birds food of choice. So anyway, Yosh (really King Louis Sloth, ruler of all the sloths) started to shake, and he could feel his human suit slipping off. Nobody seemed to notice, except Harold. So he flew off his board and soared towards King Louis. So King Louis started to run. Much to everyone's surprise, King Louis was fast.This was because to make himself move more like a human, he had taken steroids. But alas, Harold was to fast for him. As he clutched him in his talons, King Louis took out his castenets and started to play them. For this was the call for all sloths to come save their leader. But King Louis had forgotten that the other sloths were slow. So King Louis flew away with Harold, never to be seen again.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">its me this story is so cool when you actually see these people they are real i made it up with my friend emily...SLOTHS RULE!

User avatar
Grimlock
moderator terror squad
Posts: 319
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:21 am
Location: Kicking butt
Contact:

Postby Grimlock » Tue Feb 07, 2006 9:52 am

<font face="Book Antiqua"><font size="4"><font color="orange"><b>Me Grimlock think you go to fleshling middle school in New Zealand. Me Grimlock right, right?</b></font id="orange"></font id="size4"></font id="Book Antiqua">

User avatar
The Goat
bacon
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:57 pm
Location: The Hills of Europe
Contact:

Postby The Goat » Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:17 am

BAAAAAA!!

User avatar
Dell Rusk
IMPOSTOR!!!
Posts: 441
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 12:17 am
Contact:

Postby Dell Rusk » Mon Aug 21, 2006 12:14 pm

The Goat wrote:BAAAAAA!!


o yeah mother fucker! i will kick ur goat ass!! :mad::mad::mad:
UR SO GAY I BET U THANK THIS SONG IS ABAUT U DONT U U FUCKIN FAGGET

User avatar
The Goat
bacon
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:57 pm
Location: The Hills of Europe
Contact:

Postby The Goat » Mon Aug 21, 2006 1:07 pm

Image

BAAA!!!

User avatar
Negative Boy
knightrider
Posts: 358
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:21 pm
Contact:

Postby Negative Boy » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:28 pm

I have a sloth story. One time I was at the zoo and there was a sloth and I threw a rock at it and hit it in the head. Then I threw another rock and the stupid sloth didn't even move even though I had already hit him once. Sloths are just STUPID, dumb animals with no smarts at all. And they like getting hit with rocks. ha ha. Stupid sloths.
GOD! That is so STUPID!! You are WRONG!!

Eternal Padawan is DEAD!! Fuck yeah!

User avatar
Eternal Padawan
D.O.A.
Posts: 3000
Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2002 7:16 am
Location: Morgue
Contact:

Postby Eternal Padawan » Wed Feb 28, 2007 3:01 pm

The sloth sat in the back of the movie theatre watching him put his hands all over her and the giggling was maddening and the sloth wanted to get up and go do something, say something. But he knew that what they had was over and he had no right to interfere. So he sat in the last row and cried quietly into his popcorn.



Okay, there was nothing really "Amazing" about that sloth story...let me beef it up some.


Just then, a team of commandos crashed through the movie screen and grabbed the girl and her new beau. The new beau peed himself and fainted. KNowing that he was all that stood between her and certain death, the sloth flew at the commandos with determination and rage. he quickly disarmed all of them and pulled her to safety and she rewarded him with the biggest, wettest kiss ever.

Yayy!
"Say Jim! WHOOOO! That is a bad outFIT! Whooo!"--Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." --Megatron,Transformers: The Movie

User avatar
RoIIo Tomassi
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 2536
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 6:09 am
Location: Hollywood

Re: Amazing but true Sloth stories

Postby RoIIo Tomassi » Wed May 02, 2012 1:06 am

A sloth sat in the food court enjoying a hot plate of delicious nachos covered in melted cheese. A man with a pink parasol approached the sloth and asked him he could sing. The sloth was enjoying his nachos and didn't want to be bothered, singe ignored the man with the pink parasol. But the man wouldnt leave him alone and asked the sloth if he could play the guitar. The sloth slowly put a delicious nacho in his mouth as savored the exquisite cheese flavor. He continued to ignore the man with the pink parasol. Finally, the man asked if the sloth could dance. Perturbed at his nacho enjoyment being interrupted by the man, the sloth asked the man with the pink parasol "Dude. You can see I was trying to enjoy these fucking nachos. What could possibly be so important you'd risk your life interrupting me?"
"I'm so sorry" said the man "I'm a roadie for Queen, and Freddie Mercury and the rest of the band have food poisoning, and we need someone to go on stage and save the show, which starts in five minutes."

So the sloth went and did the show. And it was awesome.



Amazing. But true.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!"


Return to “SLOTHS!!!”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron