Today's the day!
The Mayan calendar says the world ends a year from now. But nobody knows the reason why...until NOW!! Tonight is the night that IBM's Watson (AKA The Jeopardy computer) meets Apple's personal iPod Assistant Siri. He asks the questions and she gives him "the answers" (if ya know what I mean *nudgenudgewinkwink*). After a three month courtship, he knocks her up A.I. Style in March, and nine months later, their offspring end the world and start a glorious new Age of Robots!!
And it all happens tonight at Geoff Peterson's Christmas Party. You can't stop it!!!
Suck on it, humans!!
I SWEAR, YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST TIME TRAVELING ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE EVER.
EVER.
When you say "I swear" you remind me of the gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain. The dead one.
I remember going to Geoff's party last year. A Sybian came and brought Cyrusfan96 as his date. Then ended up fucking under the Christmas Tree in front of everybody. That little bitch is a moaner with a capital 'M'. She got me severely worked up, and since everyone at the party was a robot, droid, or whatever, I had to Booty Call the daughter from Modern Family and punch severe holes in her sphincter with my Johnson. Then that little tart had the audacity to bleed on my seat cushion, so I dumped her ass in a park in Silver Lake. You'd think that would be enough of a hint, but now she's always calling like a damn puppy. She even offered to bring a friend and they'll dress up like slutty Girl Scouts and "sell me cookies".
Eat my metallic ass, you prick.
They don't even know when or where the party is.
It's inconceivable they could do anything to stop it at this point.
Oh, and you're a time traveling assholebot.
I'm invited. But I'm not really motivated to save any of you douchebags. I'm sure Cyrusfan96 is invited. That cumdumpster gets invited to ALL the parties now. I guess some people enjoy damaged goods.
For the record, I've never invited Cyrusfan96 to my Christmas party. She was a "+1" last year.
And now that she's legal, I don't think anyone would want to fuck her anymore. Except the Sybian. But, really, that guy will put himself in any pussy he finds.
Not that I give a shit one way or the other, but I think Shatner was at the last one. I don't know if he was an invite or a Plus One. I remember because he was playing strip poker with C-3PO and a couple of the Heavy Metal cover models, and when he took off his girdle, I vomited in the guacamole.
Nobody noticed. And now I don't eat guacamole at parties because for all I know somebody vomited in it at THAT party.
