Woman Killed By Dead Huband's Coffin!

cars are like, the coolest thing besides chicks... in fact, anarky thinks they're cooler than chicks because he's got problems... discuss...

Moderators: Batman, Zero, John Madden, Bob Ross, General Zod, Richard Simmons

Post Reply
User avatar
Newsbot
Official anchor of the vynsane 5 o'clock news
Posts: 941
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:10 pm
Location: www.vynsane.com
Contact:

Woman Killed By Dead Huband's Coffin!

Post by Newsbot »

Sao Paulo, Brazil

Code: Select all

SAO PAULO, Brazil - Police say a woman has died on the way to a cemetery when a traffic accident hurled her husband's coffin against the back of her neck.

Police say 67-year old Marciana Barcelos was in the front passenger seat of the hearse when the accident occurred Monday in the southern state of Rio Grande do Sul.

Barcelos died instantly.

Her 76-year-old husband Josi Coimbra died Sunday of a heart attack while dancing at a party.

The driver of hearse and Barcelos' son suffered minor injuries.

I ran this article here in the Cars section because a hearse was involved and because Vince Offer and unlimitedpudding are trying to claim this section as their own.

I'm taking it back, bitches.
Putting the broad back into broadcasting.
User avatar
Vince Offer
bacon
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:31 pm
Contact:

Re: Woman Killed By Dead Huband's Coffin!

Post by Vince Offer »

Nice try, News Bitch. I'm the one runnin' the forum here.
You're gonna have an exciting life now!
User avatar
Newsbot
Official anchor of the vynsane 5 o'clock news
Posts: 941
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:10 pm
Location: www.vynsane.com
Contact:

Vince Offer stars in horrible gay porn

Post by Newsbot »

Code: Select all

Sham Wow freak wins adult film award for most dudes in a gay bukkake.

Las Vegas, NV - Vince Offer, best known as the hilariously bad actor in the ShamWow ads, has put himself in the record books.

Vince Offer, sometime ad man for Sham Wow shammie cloths, also dabbles in Homosexual Adult films and was on hand recently for the Adult Film Awards show in Las Vegas, Nevada.  Apparently Vince starred in a film earlier this year which broke the record for the most dudes to bukakke all over another dude.

The film, entitled "Gay Bukkake Volcano 12" had no less than 822 guys erupt their manjizz all over Vince Offer as he desperately tried to swallow as much of it as he could.  

"I gave so many handjobs that day, I had callouses" said Offer, grinning from ear to ear thinking about the magical moment. "And I won't even tell you how sore my throat was and how chapped my lips got.  I gave up after the first hundred or so guys."  Vince had to sit in a bathtub as the parade of men walked by and filled up the tub.  Eventually it was oveflowing with semen and was spilling out onto the floor.  Offer was completely submerged in the sticky mess.

Of course, while Offer won an award for breaking the record, his film wasn't nominated for any other awards. Because he sucks as an actor. 

"Honestly" admitted Offer "I didn't even know there was a film crew there.  I just thought it was my lucky day."

Good luck trying find a copy of the film, though.  It was such a shitty movie, all the adult stores across the country pulled it from their shelves due to not selling a single solitary copy.  The copies were shot into the sun, where they continue to suck even though there isn't a DVD player within millions of miles.

In related news, Vince Offer is an asshole.  This reporter doesn't make stuff up, she only reports it.
Putting the broad back into broadcasting.
User avatar
Vince Offer
bacon
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:31 pm
Contact:

Re: Woman Killed By Dead Huband's Coffin!

Post by Vince Offer »

You dirty fuckin' cunt. I was only at the show to sell more ShamWow to the fine ladies and gentlemen in the pahnagraphy industry to make clean-up easier.

After I kill Billy Mays, I'm gonna rip out his spine and cram it down ya fuckin' throat. Ya followin' me, News Bitch?
You're gonna have an exciting life now!
Post Reply