the vynsane asylum

Posted: **Tue Nov 24, 2009 11:43 am**

ATLANTA – Celebrity chef Paula Deen got an unexpected serving of ham — across her face.

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The Food Network star was helping unload 25,000 pounds of donated meat for an Atlanta food bank on Monday when someone threw one of the hams like a football and accidentally smacked her.

Deen tells WGCL-TV: "I thought it busted my lip, but it didn't."

Though smiles and laughter, Deen added: "I'm OK. It just knocked me for a little bit."

She says she was unloading hams when she tossed one to a man, who then said "Back at 'ya." Thinking he meant it only as a sentiment, she turned around to get another ham when the errant swine came at her.

"He really meant, 'Back at 'ya.'"

The man, who was identified as Deen's fellow Food Network celebutard Bobby Flantdig (better known by his stage name, Bobby Flay), apologized, saying, "They told me this was Throwdown!"

Posted: **Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:22 am**

UPDATE!!

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Celebrity chef Paula Deen is, following a long recovery, completely healed from injuries sustained by a hurled ham last November.

The actual bruising from the impact healed in less than 24 hours. However, it took considerably longer for her heart, which exploded like a grenade following years of abuse with copious amounts of butter and mayonnaise, to be reassembled.

Posted: **Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:57 pm**

i used to date paula deen in high school. (she'd been held back about thirty times. she ain't too bright, you know.) her orgasms are so high in cholesterol, i had to dump her. i ate her out one night, and had to go to the doctor the next day with chest pains, thought i was having a heart attack. he put me on lipitor, so i could go right back to orally pleasing her. the dumping had nothing to do with the cholesterol. i just found my glasses and realized i'd been dating an ugly as fuck old woman.

Posted: **Mon Jul 01, 2013 6:18 am**

Zaphod is confusing Paula Deen with Jimmy Dean, the sausage guy.

But other than that, that story is 100% true.

Posted: **Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:57 pm**

Double G's daddy once called Jimmy Dean.

Posted: **Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:17 am**

yeah, i thought it was paula deen until i got my glasses, and found out it was her brother jimmy dean pretending to be her. paula wouldn't give me the time of day unless i bought her a whole ham first, then threw it at her. i can't afford no 12-pound ham in a fucking pussy roll of sausage, i wanna eat god damn it!

by the way, paula's not too bright, and she can't spell her own name. neither can her brother. their parents spell it "diehne."

Posted: **Wed Jul 03, 2013 10:26 pm**

I LERRRRVE ME SOME JIMMAH DEEN SAASAGE.

THE ERNLY THING WHAT ANNOYS ME IS THAT THEY ONLY PUT TWO DOZEN PATTIES IN A BOX. I SHOULDNT HAVE TO BUY THREE BOXES TO ENJOY MUH DAMN BREAKFAST.

NOW. IF Y'ALL WILL EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT TO GO POOP A TREETRUNK SIZED POOP.

*FAAAAARRRRRRT*

Posted: **Tue Nov 10, 2020 1:18 am**

I just stumbled on this.

Fucking gold.

the vynsane asylum

Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Re: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Re: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Re: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Re: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Re: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Re: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!

Re: Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham!