Vynsane.com's Hasbro's Weekly Q&A

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

None. Just kidding. Fuckwit.

The Lars homestead set would have been the perfect time to give us Cliegg and young Owen and Beru, but instead we get shitty old figures and a tiny womp rat. What gives?

[Diabolical]

What do you mean "What gives?" Are you talking about the womprat not having a name? He actually does have a name: Spud.

First you said no Yarna and now we have a Yarna. And the Homestead and Sarlaac look an awful lot like playsets, but you said there would be no playsets. Will you please promise never to make a naked Padme?

[anarky]

Naked Padme? If she appeared in the movie naked, we might. But, since she didn't, we can't. Instead, we'll give you EU NAKED LUKE!! Oh, you'll just love it. Press the button on his back and he gets wood.

Hasbro, why is it that you made a new Falcon, and you're talking about making a new Slave I, but you can't just make the fucking Cloud Car we've been asking for for over a decade now?

[Diabolical]

Naked Padme? If she appeared in the movie naked, we might. But, since she didn't, we can't.

Your words say no but your actions say yes.

Hasbro, why is it that you made a new Falcon, and you're talking about making a new Slave I, but you can't just make the fucking Cloud Car we've been asking for for over a decade now?

We've told you a thousand times NO!*



*Look for it next year and 30 variations of it with new paint jobs.


That scraping noise against the bottom of the barrel bugs me. Will you just stop? Please?

[RoIIo Tomassi]

What you think is the scraping of the barrel, is actually our genius mind gears turning out fresh idea after fresh idea! Now that we have thrown you the Yarna bone, you owe us HUGE, simpletons! And now that we've discovered you asses will buy umpteen billion R2-D2 repaints as long as we give them a new two color paint scheme and a different letter/number combo ( by the way do you KNOW how many different 2 number/2 letter combos can be made? Oh ho! We are PISSING ourselves with the possibilities...sshh sshh..more on that later...) you can expect entire YEARS, not just waves of "astromech" droids. Delicious!





Transformers question. So it's impossible for you guys to release Thundercracker on a card because it's difficult to repaint that mold or whatever bullshit reasoning you had was, but apparently you can release fucking Acidburn as a figure? Fuck you guys. IT'S THE SAME FUCKING FIGURE.

[Jargo]

Transformers suck. That's why we make them. We know you douches will buy them all eventually. Look out for the Transformer Mr. Potato head range in the first quarter of the next decade sometime. We're really excited and we know you'll cream your pants when you see them too. Our dicks are hard. We also have some surprises in store for the diehard Transformer fans with the K-Mart exclusive Megatron Transforming buttwipe dispenser. Each buttwipe has the face of Adam Pawlus on it. Our dicks are hard. We know yours will be too.

Given that the sail barge tops the want list on many sites, when are we going to see a fully articulated Jabba the Hutt figure?

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

You'll see a super-articulated Jabba next year, after you pull your head out of your ass.

Everyone seems disappointed with the Lars' homestead. What other overpriced pieces of shit will you be releasing soon?

[unlimitedpudding]

A GONK droid pudding snack holder and a mouse droid toaster. Trust me, they will be worth the $49.99 each.

Many people have left over Jedi Points. Why don't you offer to exchange them for pudding coupons?

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Are you pudding us on? Ha ha. I kid. I kid. A little pudding pun humor there for ya. Free of charge. Free of charge. So...Jedi points...hmmmm...I think We have some exclusive Clonetrooper/Astromech/Darth Vader evolution packs coming out that you will be able to get for Jedi points and a nominal $29 shipping fee. But only with Jedi points you get from product bought in 2009. If you send up your old Jedi Points along with the figure and/or vehicle you purchased them with, we will send you a limited edition poster of the new Dark Something Something video game.



I'm noticing the whole Indiana Jones thing blew up in your faces. Only three waves in and all your characters are already spent and there are a bajillion Shia LeBouef figures clogging pegs. Not to mention the crap vehicles like that tree cutting bs and the redecoed Mustafar playset. God, this line tanked HUGE. What's that egg on your face feel like?

[anarky]

It probably feels the same as our jizz on your mom's face, dipshit.

Joe time: So far, we've got some real obscurities: Snake Eyes with the weasel skull necklace, Devil's Due Serpentor, SCUBA Baroness, Brazilian Storm Shadow, and Cobra Commander in a suit. And, looking at confirmed upcoming figures, Scarlett in pilot gear, Flint in Viper disguise, Fred VII, Croc Master, the Hard Master, and even characters from the far less cool 1980s line, MASK.

And one of the new comic packs, which included two army builder figures, was entirely about the previously-untold origin of Dr Mindbender.

So where the fuck is the fabulous Doctor already?

[Zero]

Whoa there, nellies! One question at a time! Dr. Mindbender hasn't been made because we can't figure which of our ONE GIJoe molds to cannibalize to make a shirtless dude.

As for the Indiana Jones question...well fuck you. Quartely returns aren't in yet and the holiday season is right around the corner.





OH. I DON'T HAVE A QUESTION. YOU NEVER MADE A MARVEL LEGEND ZERO. SO YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF.











I CAN RIDE A BIKE WITH NO HANDLEBARS

[The Griz]

Thank you for the comment! We'll take it into consideration next time we're fucking your mom.

Will we see a line of famous movie pets any time soon? I'd like a little version of Indiana Jones' dog so I can commemorate the time I was on that movie set, balls deep in his ass.

[Jargo]

No. Eat shit and die.

Have any of you guys seen daylight in the last decade or are you just so firmly wedged up each other's asses there's no chance of that occuring?

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

At least we HAVE daylight in the States, you blood-pudding-eating piece of fuck.

At what point in time did you decide to make the base to the Lars Homestead set really, really shitty?

[anarky]

When Ralph in Marketing told us he couldn't justify $50 for three pieces of shit from a decade ago, and we had to throw in something else to make it look like we tried.

How are you preparing stores for what will likely be the third Bail Organa figure to pegwarm like there's no tomorrow?