"Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

uh, y'know, the sounds that sound good together... sometimes... and sometimes sounds like the disgusting "squish squish" sound Slicker's mom makes whenever she walks

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anarky
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"Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by anarky »

Not even die. Dying would make them martyrs and they'd be like Jim Morrison or Kurt Cobain* with everyone and their brother giving them far more credit than they deserve. They need to wind up like Dan Fogelberg or Billy Squier, largely forgotten, though these a-holes would deserve obscurity far more (Fogelberg and Squier were both good). These need to be the Marilyn Mansons of our day: praised endlessly for no reason, then suddenly dropped from the public eye altogether and possibly working as assistant managers at a Champ's Sports near you.

Kanye West: Okay, you can autotune your voice and sample some shit. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. So can every five-year-old. I don't buy my albums at preschool. Go put some fish dicks in your mouth, you fucking gay fish.

Kid Rock: I'll admit, I like some of his stuff, particularly his earlier stuff (or at least "earlier popular stuff"). But he's annoying as hell, and, god damn, he's got to be the worst fucking lyricist ever, if you can even call him that. The "American Badass from Detroit!!!" shtick wore thin years ago.

Lady Gaga: Or, as I call her "Britney Spears du jour." The woman truly has no talent. None. Her voice sucks ass. Her music sucks ass. Her stage act is the sort of manufactured "controversy" that might actually have raised eyebrows 100, 50, even 20 years ago. We already had Madonna. And she could sing.

Amy Winehouse: She has a good voice. I'll give her that. But her entire shtick is "I'll record songs that sound just like Motown joints from the 60s, only I'll cuss like a sailor for absolutely no reason!" All her albums are like novelty records for this reason. It's not funny after five minutes. It's downright irritating after six. I'm surprised Duffy and Adele haven't completely crushed her into oblivion because they have voices that are just as good, do the same sort of music, are from the same country, and don't come across as bad jokes. (They're also easier on the eyes, and I say that even with the consideration that Adele has to be driven to concerts in the back of a dump truck.) And I'm not even going to get started on the "crack whore" aspect that is her real life.

More?

*--I like Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison both. Quite a bit, actually. I just don't think they're gods, demigods, or even geniuses by any stretch.
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Rollo Tomassi
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

Oh lord, even you writing the name Amy Winehouse makes me barf in my throat. Dat bitch is FUUUGGLEEEEEEEE. She's so fug even her name illicits vomit.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Diabolical »

Eminem.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Slicker »

Justin Beiber


i am prety sure hes a gay faggit!!1! :x :x :x :x :x :x
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

Slicker wrote:Justin Beiber


i am prety sure hes a gay faggit!!1! :x :x :x :x :x :x

I'm pretty sure you can unscrew his helmet/hair and see the tiny underworld demon controlling the giant Bieber-Bot.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Ran »

I never got Kurt Cobain. I don't understand why Lady Gaga is popular, either.

Did I mention I thought Justin Beiber was a girl until a couple months ago? Nickelodeon is pushing some boy band called Big Time Rush. My kids aren't old enough to care about boy bands (yet). I'm sick of their commercials and wish they would go away.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by anarky »

How did I forget I'minneedofanenema? :frus:

I've discovered that little kids don't have to listen to shit. I wondered about it, and got confirmation when Anarky Jr was about 18 months old and I noticed she was rocking out to Tom Petty. She's never heard shit like High School Music or Justin Bieber or any of that. Her favorites include Willie Nelson, John Lennon, John Denver, Bon Jovi, Queen, the Doors, and Johnny Cash. She's even been known to appreciate some heavier stuff.

I know at some point, probably next year at school, she'll be exposed to shit and ask to hear it. Until then, why expose her to it? She'll probably grow out of the bullshit earlier, having listened to good music early on and not pop bullshit. We tried to explain that to someone who insisted we get her High School Musical when she was two, and argued we were depriving her. How does she know she's being deprived of something if she doesn't know it exists and it will have been recycled six times over by the time she's old enough to know?

To put it another way: Do you think the only girl in kindergarten in 1982 to not know Leif Garrett, or the only girl in 1994 to not know the New Kids, really gave a shit about that crap everyone else had tried to forget?

(I'll admit I've listened to a few minutes of both Beiber and the Jonas Brothers. Occasionally, the critics get it right with folks they hype the shit out of. For instance, Hanson turned out to be a surprisingly competent band that did some decent music once they hit puberty. The critics did not it right here, though.)
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by vynsane »

anarky wrote:Her favorites include Willie Nelson, John Lennon, John Denver, Bon Jovi, Queen, the Doors, and Johnny Cash. She's even been known to appreciate some heavier stuff.
HAHA, well, you all saw my facebox status about my daughter and her johnny cash birthday. she also loves the beatles and queen. she's asked if she ever met the beatles or johnny cash, and we had to explain that half of the beatles are dead and so is JC. she only asked "who killed john lennon?" - which was weird, as if she already knew he hadn't died of natural causes like the others.

she wore her 'johnny cash' t-shirt to school on her birthday and said that all the kids would love it. when the missus said they might not know who he was, my daughter replied "well, i will tell them who he was!"
We tried to explain that to someone who insisted we get her High School Musical when she was two, and argued we were depriving her.
how dare you deprive her of being a tasteless moron???
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Rollo Tomassi »

Sadly, my children were exposed to High School Musical. I discovered this when they brought a HSM Wii Game over and wanted to play it at my place.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Zaphod »

i wish taylor swift would stop singing. i don't want her to vanish. i want her to become that one waitress at denny's who sucks my dick to thank me for a $50 tip, because now she can pay to turn her electricity back on.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Sleazer »

Dave Matthews
Kid Rock
Jack White
Kanye West
Jay-Z
Phish
Radiohead
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Diabolical »

Sleazer wrote:Dave Matthews
Kid Rock
Jack White
Kanye West
Jay-Z
Phish
Radiohead
Good list.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Ran »

Kid Bopz. They are cds they sell on tv of kids singing popular songs. The commercial was just on for #19. Who is buying these things?
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by Diabolical »

Kids?
Just guessing.
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Re: "Musicians" you hate and wish would vanish

Post by anarky »

That reminded me of this article. Really, who decides to re-record the fucking Pussycat Dolls for kids? They're dirty, and you can get VD from listening to them, and it's really shitty music to boot.
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