BM

okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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anarky
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Re: BM

Post by anarky »

Yeah, even as paranoid of doctors as I am, I just made an appointment. (I'm one of those people who always worries the doctor will say, "Yeah, you'll be fine, just take two aspirin. Only thing is, we noticed you have advanced testicular cancer and we'll need to take your nuts off right now.")

I did pick my wife's doctor as my physician (HMO's are funny in that you can't call and say, "Get me an appointment with whoever right now!"), so I think I'll bring up what I've told some of you about and see if maybe that'll help.
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Ben Reilly
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Re: BM

Post by Ben Reilly »

Proof positive that weak-hearted liberals are more prone to getting sick. It's true. Rush Limbaugh did a study on it. You should vote Republican. I never get sick.
Senor JabbaJohnL
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Re: BM

Post by Senor JabbaJohnL »

anarky wrote:Yeah, even as paranoid of doctors as I am, I just made an appointment. (I'm one of those people who always worries the doctor will say, "Yeah, you'll be fine, just take two aspirin. Only thing is, we noticed you have advanced testicular cancer and we'll need to take your nuts off right now.")

I did pick my wife's doctor as my physician (HMO's are funny in that you can't call and say, "Get me an appointment with whoever right now!"), so I think I'll bring up what I've told some of you about and see if maybe that'll help.
You should just walk into the office, let out another forty-second fart, and say "Fix that."

I also dislike going to the doctor, but if there is something wrong and they find it, then it'll be better for them to do it than to let it get worse, you know? I think I've mentioned before that the cord running up from my left nut to my body (or whatever the hell it is) has a twist in it, and for a long time I was afraid to go to the doctor since I thought it was testicular cancer. Which, of course, was a really fucking stupid thing to do. But it's fine since it's not actually a tumor or anything. I just have a lumpy sack. :lol:
Shit. I can't think of a good signature.
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kidhuman
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Re: BM

Post by kidhuman »

Senor JabbaJohnL wrote: I just have a lumpy sack. :lol:

The lumpy bumpy best.
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anarky
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Re: BM

Post by anarky »

Here's a good one:

I've been over my stomach bug for over a week. But for the past two days, my shit has smelled like, well, you know that weird stink that comes from your piss when you eat asparagus? It kinda smells like that. Strange.
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kidhuman
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Re: BM

Post by kidhuman »

Maybe BTG pissed in your ass after eating Asparagus
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anarky
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Re: BM

Post by anarky »

Yeah, I was kinda wondering if someone was sneaking in at night while I slept and abusing me.
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anarky
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Re: BM

Post by anarky »

This morning, I had a supermassive turd. One of those that doesn't feel especially big when it's coming out, but, when you look at it, it's completely curled up in the toilet, and half of it is out of the water. So I did the only logical thing one can do: I called my daughter to come into the bathroom and point in the toilet as if it were her handiwork, and snapped her picture.
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Diabolical
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Re: BM

Post by Diabolical »

anarky wrote:This morning, I had a supermassive turd. One of those that doesn't feel especially big when it's coming out, but, when you look at it, it's completely curled up in the toilet, and half of it is out of the water. So I did the only logical thing one can do: I called my daughter to come into the bathroom and point in the toilet as if it were her handiwork, and snapped her picture.
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"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
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Turdeto
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Re: BM

Post by Turdeto »

Now that's what I call a Championshit.

O...and Your DOON belongs to ME!
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anarky
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Re: BM

Post by anarky »

Shit, I'm having a relapse of last June. No undigested food passing through recognizable in five minutes, and the shit doesn't smell like vomit, but it's almost as bad. It cleared up on its own after I made a doctor appointment (I made it for the next day last year, and it was all over by the time I got in), so she couldn't do anything, but I know one possible cause can become chronic, and I hope to fuck that's not it. Luckily, that particular infection isn't easily contagious (so long as you're not eating shit), and Mrs 'Nark seems to have a case of it this time, too, so I think it's a different stomach bug. Not much fun. Not much fun at all.
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Turdeto
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Re: BM

Post by Turdeto »

That Bear Grylls from Man vs. Wild has the most amazing things in his poop.






























And it now belongs to me!
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Antropov
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Re: BM

Post by Antropov »

We had dinner at Rockbottom Brewery last night and I had possibly the best nachos ever there. They're served on a 2"x2" "plate" which is covered from corner to corner. Needless to say, I ate the whole fucking thing. That was around 6pm Friday. I woke up full at 7am Saturday. After a couple cups of coffee and a cigarette, my ass was primed to go.

My shit smelled like nachos. And not digested nachos that are now shit. It smelled like fresh nachos.
Last edited by Antropov on Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ran
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Re: BM

Post by Ran »

Today we went to Frye's Electronics, which is a Super-Walmart sized electronics store. It is across the parking lot from another shopping center, but is more or less off by itself. While we were there, I felt one of those grumblings where you know you don't have much time. Didn't have much of a choice other than to use the department store's bathroom. I get in there and all the stalls are filled, so I leave hoping I can walk it off and buy some time. I go back in a few minutes later...still full. Go back again about 5 minutes later....again, still full. My cheeks are clenched and doing my best to keep the sphincter tight. I go back in one last time, knowing that if there isn't a stall open, there could be a serious problem in the back of my pants. Woo! One of the stalls were open. Luckily, I managed to get the paper cover down and let loose without shitting myself. I walked out with not only a sense of relief, but a feeling of accomplishment.
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bIZZARO tHE gRIP
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Re: BM

Post by bIZZARO tHE gRIP »

Antropov wrote: My shit smelled like nachos. And not digested nachos that are now shit. It smelled like fresh nachos.

oH HO HO! eET ESMELLED LIKE ZEE FRESH NACHOS BECAUSE EET WAS FRESH NACHOS. aH USED DEE NACHO QUESO AS LUBE WHEN aH MADE ESWEET LOVE TO YOUR FANNY. oHYES!
:arrow: :frus:
zAT ES ME, FOCKING TU PADRE!
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