BM
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- Ran
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 8772
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
- Location: barking up the wrong tree
Re: BM
About 2 months ago I caught a stomach bug that had me puking and shitting for 2 days. Well, I puked once, after that it was just dry heaving. About a 18 hours into it, I thought I had to fart. Farting seemed like the only option because there couldn't possibly be anything solid left into me because I hadn't eaten. Sure enough, I was wrong. Then the next day, I still hadn't eaten and was sure I had to fart. Wrong again.
- jjreason
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 8026
- Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 1:14 am
- Location: Out there somewhere.
Re: BM
Filthy fucking Americans (the saddest part is that I actually stopped & wondered where to share this for quite some time).
https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/xy ... e=vicefbus
https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/xy ... e=vicefbus
"Something inside me....."
- Tom Foolery
- I HAVE THE POWER!!!
- Posts: 4721
- Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 7:57 pm
- Location: I bought a house!
Re: BM
I read that article whilst I was on the shitter.
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”
- Diabolical
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 7061
- Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:40 pm
- Location: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.
Re: BM
I had a great poop last week.
When I flushed, the alpha turd rested across the bowl, refusing to break as the lesser turds swirled violently around and down below it.
It was like the movies, where the giant log rests across the ravine with a chasm or raging river below, and it's the only way for the people to cross.
As the water level rose back up, it dislodged the turd and the second flush consumed it.
When I flushed, the alpha turd rested across the bowl, refusing to break as the lesser turds swirled violently around and down below it.
It was like the movies, where the giant log rests across the ravine with a chasm or raging river below, and it's the only way for the people to cross.
As the water level rose back up, it dislodged the turd and the second flush consumed it.
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
- Diabolical
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 7061
- Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:40 pm
- Location: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.
Re: BM
Plop.
- Attachments
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- Screenshot_20180715-003034_Instagram.jpg (425.39 KiB) Viewed 4109 times
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
- Tom Foolery
- I HAVE THE POWER!!!
- Posts: 4721
- Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 7:57 pm
- Location: I bought a house!
Re: BM
Ever have a BM where you turn and look at it and can accurately tell the size and shape of your large intestine because it matches the gargantuan log you just floated?
Yeahhhh...just did one of those.
Yeahhhh...just did one of those.
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”
- Ran
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 8772
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
- Location: barking up the wrong tree
Re: BM
Tom Foolery wrote:Ever have a BM where you turn and look at it and can accurately tell the size and shape of your large intestine because it matches the gargantuan log you just floated?
Yeahhhh...just did one of those.
- Ran
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 8772
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
- Location: barking up the wrong tree
Re: BM
Dropped one this morning that I really should have taken a picture of, or at least had a tape measure handy for. There was one that was about 4 inches long, then right next to it, there was one that I couldn't see the bottom end of, and it was sticking about an inch out of the water.
I now feel empty.
I now feel empty.
- Tom Foolery
- I HAVE THE POWER!!!
- Posts: 4721
- Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 7:57 pm
- Location: I bought a house!
Re: BM
Why is it, when you feel the need to go, but you know it’s not quite ready so you’re doing other stuff but then five minutes before you need to walk out the door, your butt turns into a faucet?
Now I know why old people are grumpy. The warranty expired and nothing works correctly anymore. Thirty more years of this??
Now I know why old people are grumpy. The warranty expired and nothing works correctly anymore. Thirty more years of this??
"No Tom Foolery today, Ron. I'm tired of looking at your dreadful, speckled mug."
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”
"Why do you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
”It’s a grid system motherfucker. Eleven up and one over, you simple bitch.”
- jjreason
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 8026
- Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 1:14 am
- Location: Out there somewhere.
Re: BM
I don't like the constant need to re-wipe. That's the main symptom I've found increasing as I get older. I'm not 100% convinced it's not tied to all the changes in food additives & whatnot over the last 20 years though.
"Something inside me....."
- Diabolical
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 7061
- Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:40 pm
- Location: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.
Re: BM
With my diet it's like wiping a marker.
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
- Ran
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
- Posts: 8772
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
- Location: barking up the wrong tree
Re: BM
Ever try to sneak out a fart while you are sitting down, only to have half of the air slowly go up your butt crack and the other half slip by your balls?
Neither have I.
Neither have I.