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okay i can hear you now. and i don't want to. why don't you go fuck slicker's mom and get out of my face?

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Eternal Padawan
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Post by Eternal Padawan »

Man I just had a real good movement. It came out like the soft serve ice cream dispenser at dairy queen. But I had to keep wiping because there was just a little smear on every wad of TP. I did it at least ten times before it was all clean.


Feel free to share every time you have a good one...or a bad one. Like those ones where you keep shooting out the hard little pellets and you feel like all the straining isn't worth the results. But at least with those, you wipe and the paper is clean on the first swipe.
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jjreason
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Post by jjreason »

I'm a big fan of the "no wiper" personally - though it's hard to lay any serious cable and get clean paper as a result. Speaking of poo....... I had pizza for supper last night, then again for lunch today (tasty leftovers) - and still haven't pooped yet, 30hrs later. I think I'm in for something special!
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Antropov
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Post by Antropov »

Everyone questions me because I only shit 3-4 times a week. I like to enjoy it. It's an experience for me, not a necessity.

For some reason, my toilet has a low water level (I rent, so I'm not worried about fixing it) and whenever I shit it all collects on the front of the bowl. Sure, that's nice for marveling at the size and/or checking for abnormalities, but it congeals on the cold porcelin and always requires a plunger or the toilet brush to break it up so it doesn't plug the toilet.
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kidhuman
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Post by kidhuman »

Yesyerday afternoon at work, we had a pot luck for lunch. Right after eating, I went to take a dump. I pooped so much it would have left a baby moose incapacitated.

Taking dumps is a much needed part of life and should be discussed openly amongst friends and family I think.

The ones I hate are the real thick ones that feel like they come out sideways.
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Slicker
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Post by Slicker »

I hate the ones where you just know it's gonna be a fucking mess. You can just feel it oozing out and you just prepare the shower because you'll never get your ass clean without it.

Those not mess on the toilet paper ones kinda give me the creeps because that mess has to go somewhere. I'm just afraid that one time I'm gonna be "done" and pull my pants up and it's just gonna all of a sudden make a mess.
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Ran
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Post by Ran »

That reminds me of that joke about a rabbit and a bear crapping in the woods...The bear asks the rabbit, "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" "No." says the rabbit. So, the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his ass.

I don't know what is going on with my system lately. For the past couple weeks, I've been taking 2 dumps per day. I used to just do it once a day. In fact, it's just after 9am, and I'm brewing up my 2nd.

The longest I've gone without pooping was in Basic Training...almost 3 weeks.
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Antropov
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Post by Antropov »

None of us have shit on her, though.
http://intermaweb.net/index.php/2005/10 ... ic-action/
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Diabolical
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Post by Diabolical »

The Ghost of Lemmys Warts
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Post by The Ghost of Lemmys Warts »

3 weeks?!
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jjreason
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Post by jjreason »

Rate My Poo is so fucking gross. Whoever started that site should be a member here.
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Antropov
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Post by Antropov »

God, I literally gagged rating some of them turds. What the fuck do them people eat?
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Slicker
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Post by Slicker »

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by The Ghost of Lemmys Warts</i>
<br />3 weeks?!
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">Same thing happened to me in boot too. It's the change of diet from your normal eat once a day and pick around the rest to 3 perfectly timed meals that are high in calories.
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kidhuman
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Post by kidhuman »

I once went ten days with out pooping, it was horrid. I awoke at 3am and shit when it ended. I swear my stomach felt like a water cooler being emptied out, I am sure it even made those gurgling noises too.
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Slimmie
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Post by Slimmie »

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Diabolical</i>
<br />There's always http://www.ratemypoo.com/ratemy/poo
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
Weird. The instant I clicked on that link I had to run to the can and pinch one off. I'm almost scared to click it again.
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Ran
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Post by Ran »

Does anyone understand why there is link under the picture that says "Report this image to Administrator"? The right column is links to porn, and there is a close up picture of a turd...what could be so offensive that you would need to report the picture?
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